"Growing old has been the greatest surprise of my life." Billy Graham

"Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old." Victor Hugo.

Friday morning I had a conversation with a man who is just a little younger than me. We were helping to set up to serve breakfast for some of the youth here in Montrose who attend early morning Seminary (religious study) before high school begins. The conversation was (in that moment) focused on the very young looking boys and girls who were in attendance. Neither of us believing that any of them were in high school or even old enough to drive a car so they could get to high school. We spoke of doing double takes when we see some of these kids driving or involved in other activities that seem beyond how old they appear. It occurred to me then that older folks don't seem all that old any longer either, though I didn't express the thought in our conversation.

About 8 o'clock last night as I was headed back to work to meet a customer (as arranged earlier in the day) I had to exert nearly Herculean effort to drag my backside out the door to go meet them and contract a deal. What the heck happened (and when)? I remember nights not that many years ago when Mom had to turn off the back porch light, at 10 o'clock, to get us to end the basketball game we were playing in the backyard. If she didn't neither my parents nor the parents of my friends who lived in the neighborhood, and who were involved in the game, would be able to get any rest. Just those few years ago I could have played well into the night and still gotten enough sleep to arise early and return to work with all the energy and vigor needed (with some to spare).

As British author Ruth Rendell put it, "I wouldn't be young again even if it were possible, but I'm not going to pretend that growing old is all sweetness and light."

This year has really been an eye opener for me (just turned 56). I don't even remember all the aches and issues that sent me to the doctor(s) this year. I was stunned, though, when I went to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy a few weeks ago and was told that there was no charge because I had satisfied my annual out of pocket expense for the year. I knew that the budget had taken quite a hit this year due to CT scans, MRI, and a myriad of other medically necessary tests, prods, and pokes. I told a co-worker recently that if anything is going to happen to me for the next five years I wanted it all before the end of this year so we could be done with it. I really don't want that. Though I hope this is it for some time to come.

There are things I enjoy immensely about growing old though. My relationship with my sweetheart has never been stronger. Shared trials and joys bring a man and a woman closer together in very interesting ways. Some might look at the outwardly distant appearing relationship that we have and not notice those moments of public intimacy that indicate otherwise. The touch of a hand, the look of pride for a job well done. The bag lunch provided when she knows I will have a long day of meetings on a Sunday afternoon. There are others but I won't enumerate because they are intended to be private even though public. Things that mean a great deal to us because of our history that don't mean much to anyone else.

"We mustn't be led into thinking getting old is bad. Growing old is good." (Joanna Lumley)

There are days when I wish for the vigorous strength of youth. There are days when I long for the return of that feeling of immortality that we all feel when we are young. Not today though. Today I am grateful for the experiences that have been my life. The sum may not add up to much. But it does add up to who I have become thus far. My hope is for many more opportunities to gain experience and become more than I am today.

I hope the same for all my friends.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

 

For me the best day of the week is Sunday.

I look forward to next Sunday as soon as I arise from my bed on Monday morning. It is, for me, the best part of each week. I'm not a huge sports fan - so the NFL doesn't factor in to the enjoyment of the day. It is a day off from work, though I enjoy what I do and where I work, so somewhat of a factor but not a major reason that contributes to the beauty of the day. It is, quite often, a day when we gather family together to break bread and spend time together but the family has scattered across the United States so that isn't always a factor. What I look forward to the most is the opportunity to be fed spiritually.

I don't want anyone to misunderstand here. I am up and in my scriptures every day by about 5:10 am. Currently I am reading in the Book of Mormon and the New Testament. I read and ponder over at least a chapter or two in each, every morning, with an occasional cross reference search when something really catches my attention. I also spend some time with the book written by Tad R. Callister titled "The Infinite Atonement" followed by a few minutes of prayerful preparation for the day ahead. You might think that this would be enough to keep my spiritual batteries charged - and it is - but what gives me the spiritual lift that gets me through the most trying days is received each Sunday as I participate in the leadership and regular meetings that are held on this day.

My workday during the week begins like many of you at 8:00 am and ends at 5:30 pm. There is a lot of activity during these days and I am usually ready for the end when it arrives. My Sunday schedule this year begins with a meeting at 8:30 am and often does not end until about 4:00 pm. On occasion there are additional meetings later in the day but they are usually ended by 8:00 pm and I am home and done. The workday wears out my body, mind, and even spirit. The Sabbath day wears out my body, but re-charges my mind and spirit. It is that spiritual rejuvenation that makes Sunday a day to look forward to with anticipation. 

I have had many opportunities (callings) to serve in the church that have given me wonderful experiences. Relationships with friends and acquaintances have been developed and strengthened as we have interacted in church meetings, when we have served side by side, and as we have had occasion to teach one another gospel truths. My current opportunity (calling) to serve has helped me learn just how much our Father in Heaven loves His children. As I meet with members of the church each Sunday the feeling of His love seems to be manifest in very real ways. Often as I meet with members I hear my voice utter words of comfort, instruction, and counsel that I know did not come from my thoughts or experience but are a manifestation of a loving Father's concern for one of His children. 

I had the opportunity, recently, to sit with a family in our Ward who were meeting with me to declare their faithfulness through obedience to the law of tithing. As we were ready to conclude I asked if there is anything any of the family have always wanted to ask their Bishop but never had the chance? They all said no, but then one of the young children said he had a question and asked "Is it hard to be the Bishop?" My answer was simple. I told them (him) that no it isn't hard to be a Bishop. I explained that there are some days when it is very difficult for a Bishop to see the struggle that some go through, but that the good things that a Bishop sees and does far outweigh the difficult. 

Moments like this one make it worth it to serve, and contribute to the reasons why, for me, Sunday is the best day of the week.  

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

I feel like writing something today. So I will.

As you can tell there are weeks and even months when I don't post anything here and then there are weeks when I just feel like writing. This is one of those, apparently.

The big 30th birthday celebration for Holly is today (tonight at 7:00) somewhere in Utah County. Cindy will be there (is there) for the gathering. Eric (Holly's spouse) was trying to plan this without her knowledge. Planning a surprise party in this family is impossible. Someone always forgets and says, or writes, something at the wrong time and the beans are spilled. Holly handed me a physical invitation to the celebration so I know she is in on it. My second middle child is turning Thirty years old in a few days. Amazing how quickly time flies. I remember the snowy wind blown day when she was born. She was about 2-3 weeks overdue and we were headed to St. Anthony's North Hospital for medical intervention to get things moving. Cindy was hooked up to that IV for most of the day with not much happening. The doctor checked in on her after his office closed for the day and they decided to give it a little more time before sending us home. Not too long after he left things quickly progressed - he rushed back in and she arrived. Number 4 of the Cindy and Mike hit parade. December 9th is the actual date. I have 6 favorite children - she is among them.

We had our Mount Sneffels Ward Christmas Party last night. A very pleasant evening with friends and family. Great food, a very enjoyable program, with a gentle reminder of why this celebration is so important. The women who organized the party decided that there would not be any Santa Claus for this gathering. Just an expression of why. It was great. Each organization in the Ward had a role to play to prepare for the evening and all did an outstanding job of filling assignments and making the evening enjoyable. What a great group of people we have the opportunity to associate with.

Yesterday morning, as Cindy was getting everything packed so she could hit the road after work, I could see the look of distress in the eyes of our dogs. They don't like suitcases and when they come out there is a degree of stress associated that I find interesting to view. It is greatest when the suitcase is on her side of the bed. She takes care of them, they are bonded with her much more than me. I'm not even sure they consider me an adequate substitute. I leave them outside longer than she does. I only feed them dog food without any supplemental juices or other additions that give more flavor. She doesn't always baby them either, but, is more likely to give them a little extra treat on occasion. If we are both home, and they are inside, they will move around the house on her heels and around her feet no matter where she goes. I find it amusing the grudging looks I get from both when I call them as they are headed after her down the hall. They will come back to me but upon receipt of some loving they immediately head back down the hallway to find her.

When she is out of town I feel the same way. I don't know about anyone else but this fellow was not meant to be alone in this world. Thankfully she found my heart and pierced it in a way I never imagined possible. Hurry home!

I don't have any expertise in the area of law, law enforcement, or government so I am reluctant to share my thoughts here regarding any of the things that weigh heavy on my heart (and yours I suspect) this week. Dreadful things happening in this world and nation right now. Our political leaders becoming more polarized than ever before in my lifetime. I'm not sure if its that some just don't want to acknowledge reality, or if they think that by espousing an opposing perspective that reality will change. Everything that happens shouldn't be political. Yet, it seems that everything is being portrayed as such. The preamble to the Constution of the United States of America says;

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. 

It seems to this observer that we are losing sight of that perfect Union that the founders of this once great nation envisioned. My fear is that we will continue down the road we are on and we will lose any opportunity for justice, domestic tranquility, and the blessings of liberty.

Friends, there is a way for each of us to make an impact in this process. That is to get involved. Work locally in hopes of influencing our elected leaders to remember the important values that we once all believed in. Find a candidate or a cause you can get behind and go to work. We cannot continue to sit idly by while others work to destroy what we hold dear. Most of us are comfortable. Some are in harms way (both here and abroad). We all need to become active in preserving our freedoms and opportunities before they are lost. We cannot leave it to the professional politicians any longer.

I just stepped off my soapbox.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"On the other hand, you have different fingers." Steven Wright

"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?" Steven Wright.

This will be one of those random thoughts posts that pop up from time to time. Fair warning has been given.

Last night my sweetheart (Cindy) and I took the opportunity to go and view the final installment of the Hunger Games. I thought it was done well even with some things quickly introduced early and left in the rear-view mirror far too soon. I get it (I think). There is story information that is important that can be introduced without depth but the transitions between them early on left me wanting more. Overall, though, an enjoyable evening out. About an hour into the film my wife's phone started to vibrate again and again and again so I was hoping that no one in the extended family had been injured or become ill. Finally someone sent me a text message asking where their Mother was because they had scheduled their monthly book club chat for last night and they were waiting for her to join the call. Hilarious! I almost laughed out loud when reading the message (Cindy picked the book). She was also amused when I showed it to her. And don't worry there wasn't anyone sitting anywhere near us so we didn't disturb the audience.

At my place of employment we have a gift exchange each year as part of the Christmas party. Last year the owner decided to have everyone bring something that we imagined that the person whose name we drew from a hat would want as a child. After the party these items are donated to a local program that provides gifts and other holiday cheer to needy families in the community. What a great idea. I hope others will do the same. The group we are donating to this year is helping families that will have no Christmas without some help. They bring it all - food, tree, decorations, and gifts. I may have to look into helping deliver to some of these homes. We'll see if it can be worked in to the schedule.

Thanksgiving has become my second favorite holiday behind Labor Day. When our family was young we decided that it would be easier for us to travel to visit grandparents and extended members of the family. Then we would stay home for Christmas. Now that the children and grandchildren are scattered around the country a bit we will travel to them for Thanksgiving. We always have multiple of our offspring in attendance whether we are at our house, in the Denver, CO area, or in the Provo, UT area. So far we have not made it to Nashville for this holiday but maybe we can begin planning for a coming year. It is those children and grandchildren that make it such an event for me. This year we had everyone at our home (except the Nashville crew) and it was a very busy time. 5 granddaughters, 2 grandsons, and their parents made for a lot of running and jumping and squealing and other forms of merriment that make me smile just writing about it. A good time was had by all.

We will be joining the Utah kids for Christmas and then Cindy will be flying to Nashville, TN out of Salt Lake City while I return home for work. Another grandchild on the way so Cindy will be there for the arrival (we hope) and to get acquainted for a day or two before returning home. The dogs and I will survive with her out of town, though, I will be accused (by the dogs) of forcing her to desert them. Upon her return all will be forgiven and I will be relegated to second class citizen again.

 

So true.

I warned you at the beginning. Random thoughts today.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

A very good time was had by all!

We tried something different this year. A vacation cabin that is available for rent near the condos we usually rent at Powderhorn Resort. Really nice facility and almost big enough for us to fit comfortably. Plenty of room for all to sleep but not a lot of room for any private time if you needed to get away from the buzz of activity in the Great room, Dining room, and Kitchen. Still overall a wonderful facility and a great weekend for all of us.

For the second year in a row everyone was able to attend. Though some arrived late and others left early but for one terrific afternoon we were all there and enjoyed a lot of quality time.

We have recently started a tradition of having a talent show (strictly voluntary) one evening and many choose to participate. All of the little ones (grandchildren) sing or dance or both. Our children shared their gifts with us also mostly song or dance numbers though there were some humorous readings and even a Dr Seuss rap by an Elementary School teacher. A very fun evening.











We also spent some time at Mesa Lakes.





And of course the trek to Land's End to view the setting sun.







Something to look forward to every Labor Day weekend. If we can't get together with everyone any other time of year this is the one time we all try to make a part of our annual plans.

A very good time was had by all!

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Did you hear the one about .... ?

I imagine everyone reading this post can tell a joke better than I can. I'm not sure why that is. You can tell me a joke right now and ask me to repeat it back to you and I'll figure out a way to screw it up. Even one or two line jokes that anyone ought to be able to repeat easily can be a problem for me. The one joke that I have been able to learn over this lifetime is more of a visual telling than oral. Though both are involved in the telling. I learned from a fellow employee who shall remain nameless (for his own protection) one quiet afternoon as we were eating lunch together. It goes something like this:

     I begin by bringing in front of me a set of salt and pepper shakers - set them on the table and I              usually say something about this being a seasonal joke (get it seasonal - salt and pepper?). That          comment usually sets the tone for what is to follow.
     I then move the salt and pepper shakers closer to each other and have one greet the other,                  
           "Hey, how are you doing?" The other then replies, "I'm great! How are you?"

     And then I ask my audience, "What is that?" Usually the audience is looking back at me with a            blank, often puzzled expression, and I then say "Seasons greeting!" followed by a lot of eye                rolling and moderate laughter or amused (bemused?) stares.

     Then I move each shaker past the other in kind of a circular dance as though readying for a fight,        and again ask the audience, "What is that?" I still see many perplexed looks, and I then clarify            "Changing seasons!" followed by smiles and, often groans along with more eye rolling.

     Then I pick up a butter knife and hold it against the salt shaker and begin thrusting it at the pepper      shaker along with some unintelligible yelling sounds and again ask, "What is that?".

     By now the audience is wondering what in the heck they have gotten themselves in to and are              debating whether they should flee. But their amused curiosity keeps them in their seats. and I then      say,

                        

Sorry, couldn't find a picture with a butter knife instead of a gun - but you get the idea.

This silly little joke is the only one I have ever been able to remember and repeat.

It's the remembering that is a challenge for me when it comes to joke telling. Ask me the plot line of any Tom Clancy novel and I can probably quote chapter and verse. Ask me to tell of a humorous occurrence at work or home yesterday and I may not even remember what happened. Its not even that I cannot remember humor. I can tell you all about the funny stories in any Patrick McManus book - or even better you start telling me your favorite tale from one of his books and I will start laughing long before you get to the funny part because I have already replayed it in my warped little brain (probably twice) and don't understand what is taking you so long to get to the point of it all.

I was sitting with a co-worker the other day who loves Patrick McManus books as much as I, and he was sharing with me some of his favorite stories from the collection. It's good that we were outside enjoying some sunshine because we got to laughing so hard our fellow employees might have thought we were having some kind of mental melt down. I don't think we ever finished a story either - a few lines of description and we both were laughing and trying to finish the tale but unable to do so. I'm sitting here grinning just thinking about it. Fun times.

Well, just a little nonsense today.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Each night I am reminded "how lucky I am that I made it home."

There are occasional evenings when I return home from a busy, long, stress-filled day at work and just want to mindlessly sit and view a television program or a DVD of a favorite movie. I had two such days recently (in a row, I might add) which is unusual. This all began with a mid-day dental appointment to have a silver filling in a molar removed and refilled with whatever composite material dentists use now and to also fill another cavity near the same tooth that has developed over the years because of a crack in another molar. It does not bother me so a filling works for now, though a root canal may occur down the road. I don't like trips to the dentist for any reason. Sitting in an uncomfortable chair in an uncomfortable position with every muscle in my body tensed for immediate flight just makes for an unpleasant hour and pretty well wears me out. I survived (barely) and we headed home. My sweetheart (Cindy), who came along to drive if needed, mentioned that she was not feeling well and I promptly ignored what she said because she could not possibly feel as bad as I did at that moment (I was wrong, of course) and we resumed the activities of the day. A few hours later we were sitting in the living room watching HGTV and resting from the day.

She mentioned again several times during the evening that she was not feeling well and even suggested that she may go to urgent care the next morning if there was no improvement by then. She finally gave up on the day about 8:30 (very early for her), fed the dogs, took some ibuprofen, and went to bed. Now I'm beginning to worry. Normally changes in her health are gradual - this progressed very quickly. Though in retrospect the signs of gradual progression were there we just missed them until it was moving more quickly. She had a rough night and let me know Friday morning that she had called her doctor's office and they had an opening for her to come in later in the day and she took it instead of going to urgent care. No strep. Swollen nodes, works in an elementary school - antibiotic prescribed, continued use of ibuprofen recommended. Since many (perhaps all) of the daughters (Jen, Stefanie, Holly, Lisa, and Kelli) had been invited into this loop a group text was distributed with the update (me too) and she headed home.

Friday is often a night out for dinner but she did not feel up to it so we ordered take out from a local establishment and scheduled it so I could run a few errands and then pick it up on the way home. It had been one of those days at work in addition to worrying about her condition and I was pretty well worn out by the time I arrived at home. We had dinner and settled in to view a DVD (The Hobbit, the battle of the five armies). There are several moments in this film that hit a tender chord with me. The first is when, after they are in the mountain, Bilbo is sitting by himself and removes something from his pocket.

    "Thorin: What is that?
    [suddenly Thorin approaches Bilbo]
    Thorin: In your hand.
    Bilbo Baggins: It's nothing.
    Thorin: Show me.
    Bilbo Baggins: It...
    [Bilbo holds out his fist and opens it up to reveal a nut]
    Bilbo Baggins: I picked it up in Beorn's garden.
    [Thorin's face softens]
    Thorin: You've carried it all this way?
    Bilbo Baggins: I'm going to plant it in my garden. In Bag End.
    Thorin: It's a poor prize to take back to the Shire.
    Bilbo Baggins: One day it'll grow, and every time I look at it, I'll remember. Remember     everything that happened: the good, the bad and how lucky I am that I made it home.
    [Bilbo smile and Thorin smiles back]"

It is that last that touches me "One day it'll grow, and every time I look at it, I'll remember. Remember everything that happened: the good, the bad and how lucky I am that I made it home." Home is the place where both good and bad happen to everyone, I hope more good than bad for all, but it should also be a place we can retreat to. I feel that my home is a talisman for me - a place where not only have memories been made, and lessons taught and learned, but a place where I can refuge from the world and remember the things that are really important. I am never happier than when the Mahan clan are all gathered together reminding each of the relationship and the life we have shared. 

There is another moment near the end of the film when as Thorin Oakenshield is near death he says to Bilbo "If more people valued home above gold, this world would be a merrier place." I am as guilty as  the next fellow of trying to improve my lot in life (financial) and acknowledge that we do have to make an adequate living to support a family. But there are times when we (I at least) have lost sight of the greater importance of family relationships and making the world a merrier place.

If you read through the posts that have been created here you should get a sense that family is important to me. I am very pleased with the way my children have turned out. They have become people that I still enjoy hanging out with and learning from. 

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

I walked into the lunchroom the other day....

I am usually very careful in any correspondence with family and friends. I have on occasion been known to put my foot into my mouth so I am normally diligent in communicating via e-mail or text message. I attempt to be clear and concise so misunderstandings are avoided...and most of the time I succeed (my opinion anyway). Unfortunately that doesn't always hold true. Let me explain.

Fathers Day weekend I was home alone. Cindy (my sweetheart) went to visit our newest grandchild and his parents Friday morning and did not return until Monday afternoon. I have never minded being alone for a few days even over a holiday weekend. My daughters, and my wife, usually communicate with me via telephone or text message conversation and help the time pass quickly. They did a fair job of it this weekend as well. For some reason unknown to me the empty house was more of a problem this time, in spite of their collective efforts. So when Monday morning rolled around I was anxiously awaiting her (Cindy) returning to home.

I was busy through much of the morning with work, banking, and conversation with co-workers and customers and the time passed quickly. I received a text message from Cindy just before noon letting me know that she was getting on the road. I replied with a little more adult reply than I normally would and as soon as I hit send I realized it was a group text including at least one of our daughters, and (I learned later) my Mother-in-law. Oops. I found a thread on my phone with conversation just between Cindy and me and sent a quick "My poor children." text to let her know I realized I made a mistake.

Please don't get me wrong my children are all grown and married and are well aware of the relationship married spouses have. But still not something they want to be thinking about at any time. That evening as Cindy and I were chuckling about the event she shared with me that the daughter who had been included in the group made a screen shot of the conversation and shared it with her siblings. The reaction of one of the daughters is now recorded for all time. She started laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and could not stop laughing and then one of her children began laughing because her mommy was and laughed right along with her. It is hilarious. Her tummy must still ache from laughing as hard and long as she did.

After I realized my error I started laughing about it as well and was still chuckling as I walked into the lunchroom down the hall from my office. Three of my co-workers were there getting ready to eat and I had to explain what had happened. They all smiled and chuckled throughout our mealtime. Mostly because it's just funny, but also because it is so out of character for me to say or write something even slightly risque or inappropriate.

In Proverbs 21:23 it says, "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles."

While I am not overly disturbed by this amusing occurrence, I am reminded of the need to keep my tongue in check (or writing in this case). Neal A. Maxwell said it well, "Let us have integrity and not write checks with our tongues which our conduct cannot cash." I am resolved to improve my performance by taking greater care in writing and speaking. An inattentive misspoken word could harm, or embarrass, and that is not what I hope to accomplish on any day.

And no I will not share here or anywhere what was written in that careless moment. It has already been distributed more widely than I like.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

I'm not sure where this one will end up, but let us begin here.

Long ago and far far away (I think it was a Wednesday) I was enjoying an unusual morning off (unusual because it was a Wednesday instead of Thursday). I had arisen at my customary hour on a day off (5:30 am-ish) and had spent time reading the scriptures, and a fantastic book by Tad R. Callister titled "The Infinite Atonement". I had just settled on the love seat to view several news programs to catch up on some of the world news from overnight. I heard the dogs jump from the bed to the floor and begin to trot down the hallway to the living room where they paused briefly waiting for the other female of the household to catch up. They led her to the back door and were sent outside to do whatever dogs do in the morning after a cozy night inside. Mrs. Mahan then returned to the living room where she let me know that we needed to have a conversation. I say conversation but what I really mean is she had something to talk to me about that required very little input from me - other than listening. I'm a good listener (I think) and so I obliged her. After an emotional few minutes I asked if she needed anything from me? She replied that no she just needed to vent a little and would work through it herself (phew!).

Let me back up a few days and help clarify what comes next in our little drama. Monday I receive a phone call from Mrs. Mahan in which she tells me she is on her way to Grand Junction, Colorado to exchange vehicles with our daughter Kelli who is getting ready to leave to visit two of her sisters in the Orem, Utah area but has more stuff than will fit in her car. Okay, no problem. They make the exchange and Cindy (Mrs. Mahan) goes and visits her parents while in town and Kelli is on her way. She (Kelli) calls me around 1:30 pm or so and asks me if she should be concerned that there is a warning light on the instrument cluster flashing? I ask which one and make a quick call to our service manager who tells me that she needs to park the car and call a tow truck. I relay that message and we decide that she will continue down the highway 3 miles to Crescent Junction where she will be able to exit the highway and find a cool spot to wait. I then call roadside assistance and begin the process of helping them understand that even though the car is 50 miles inside the Utah border the nearest dealer is not 140 miles away in American Fork, Utah but is in fact only 65 - 70 miles away in Grand Junction, Colorado.

In the meantime, the Mahan sister network (including the Mom) is buzzing with activity and finally I am off the phone with roadside assistance and take several calls from different daughters and finally from the Mom (Cindy). We decide that she (Cindy) will drive Kelli's car to Crescent Junction so that Kelli can continue on to visit her sisters and their families even if she can't take everything she hoped to. Then Cindy will wait for the tow truck and ride back to Grand Junction with the car. It all works perfectly. Kelli makes her visit, Cindy rides in the non-air conditioned tow truck across the 100 degree desert of eastern Utah back to Grand Junction, I pick her up at her parents that evening and we return home in time to unwind a little before retiring for the evening. We love it when a plan comes together.

Tuesday was uneventful. The car is done. We plan to pick it up Wednesday instead of Thursday because of a last minute change in my day off. Which brings us back to the beginning. Keep in mind that all of these things have been piling up on her through the first days of the week. Things are looking good other than the emotional mood she is in because of a situation that has been building for some time that has her (both of us really) concerned regarding our children and grand children.

Wednesday after the young man who Cindy occasionally pays to mow our lawn leaves, and I have gone back over the lawn where he was in a bit of a hurry and didn't do a great job, we head to Grand Junction to pick up the Subaru Crosstrek from the dealer. No problems. We decided to go to lunch since it was after the noon hour. We like Chili's so we headed over there to grab a bite. As we are waiting on the waitress to bring our food Cindy started digging in her pockets for the key that operates the ignition of the Crosstrek to add it back onto her key ring. She can't find it in a pocket. We both know what will happen if she dropped it into her purse, so she digs through her pockets again. No key. Deep emotional sigh as she begins the process of removing every accumulated item from the bottomless pit that is her (any woman's) purse. After emptying the entire contents she looks at me and wonders aloud if she dropped it on the way into the restaurant? I get up and retrace the path from our table to the car. No key. I look inside the vehicle and way down on the floor below the ignition I see a single key - the one that should be in her pocket or purse. Of course I didn't bring my key for this vehicle but, I notice that the window is cracked open to allow air to circulate. Not enough for my arm to reach in to unlock the door and I cannot think of anything that I can use to reach in and accomplish the task.

After a moment I thought back to a conversation Cindy and I had on Monday evening as we were driving home from Grand Junction. She kept complaining about something scraping against her foot and it was late enough that darkness prevented her from readily identifying the item. She had the same issue as we were driving to Grand Junction that morning and picked up the ice scraper/snow brush I use as needed and tossed it onto the back seat. I thought it just might be thin enough and long enough to reach through the window and reach the lock/unlock button on the door armrest. I retrieved it from my car, (a few amused looks as I was walking through the parking lot with an ice scraper on a 90 degree day) I was able to get it through the slightly opened window and twist it around to reach the unlock button. The key was retrieved, I returned to the restaurant, We enjoyed our lunch, and finally returned home later that afternoon. I chuckled that this would make a good story for me to share here and she told me I should wait a few days to allow her to get over the emotional moment she was working through. So I did.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"It is a wise father that knows his own child." William Shakespear

Last night Cindy (the missus) received a text message from our son (Adam) where he asked "What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill?"

To which she (Cindy) replied (after turning to me and asking if I knew where this was headed), "What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill?"

Adam, "Walking."

Cindy, "Ooo-kay..."

Adam, "JK. Rolling."

He then decided to share with his sisters and they replied as follows,

Stef, "Hehehe."

Cindy, "Oh good. Rub it in."

Holly, "This is actually making me laugh out loud."

Kelli, "Hahahaha!"

Adam, "You set it up beautifully."

Jennifer, "Yep. I'm laughing."

Cindy, "Well, it's what I do."

Lisa, (replied with an emoticon laughing so hard it has tears).

And finally Cindy closed out the text conversation with "It's funny-Dad asked me how everyone was doing today when he got home, and I told him I had no clue, I hadn't talked to anyone (except a text from Holly) -so Now I know you're all still out there! Thanks, Adam!"

I also was amused but did not become engaged in the conversation. Those of you who know me are not surprised at this - I tend to be reticent in most situations until input is needed. I can smile right along with these people (and most others) without having much input myself. The most amusing part of this conversation from my side is that Cindy felt that she had to explain to me that JK. was "just kidding" and that "rolling" was Rowling. 

Like most families, I think, some version of this conversation played out frequently in the Mahan household as these children (and their parents) grew up together. And we still enjoy sharing our amusement with each other often. One of the great joys of being father (and husband) to this crew. If nothing else gets passed from my children to theirs, if they get a sense of humor and an ability to laugh at themselves and with their siblings and friends they will have been given (and received) a great legacy. 

I hope they will. I imagine that with the parents and grandparents they have it will probably happen. I had a friend once ask me how our children had become so close and such good friends? I really didn't have an answer for the question then. I'm not sure I do now either. All I can tell you is that when we are together we have fun. And when feelings are tender we usually rally round and give all the love and support we can muster. How we got here? I really don't know. But, we are here and I think we each are better for the journey.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter." Satchel Paige

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it." Steven Wright

My brain is a jumble of random thoughts and ideas this morning. Not sure where this post may go or end up. I hope this has given you fair warning.

Tomorrow would be Dads 78th birthday. It has only been 9 years that he has been gone and in that time there have been years when this date goes by with little notice. For some reason this is one of the years when the date has been on my radar for several weeks. I have thought about what makes this time different and have arrived at no clear answer. It just is, and maybe that really is all there is to it.

"I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote," so right before I die I could say "unquote."

A friend spoke in a church meeting I attended last evening about an experience he had a few months ago. He is a very healthy active older gentleman that I have enjoyed getting to know over the last year or so. A few months ago he made a mis-step while working on the roof of his barn and fell to the ground. He ended up with 10 broken ribs and a damaged hip that required some repair work by one of the paint and body men at St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction, CO. Followed by a total of three weeks hospitalization and a steady recovery period since. He is doing remarkably well and gives credit to the faith of all those who offered prayers on his behalf and to the priesthood blessings he received immediately following the injury and just prior to the surgery. He is a good man and I have learned that he is a man of great faith. I aspire to be like him someday.

"I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering." Steven Wright

Often I take time to dig in and study verses of scripture but lately I have just been reading with only occasional pauses to look up a cross reference or to consult another talk or writing of a respected authority. Just reading. I have covered a lot of ground very quickly (I read on average 6-8 chapters in the New Testament and the same in The Book of Mormon daily) and have enjoyed it immensely. As I have the opportunity to serve in the Church I find my mind occupied with specific scriptures and how they apply in a given circumstance. So a brief respite from focused learning has been very pleasant. I will continue to read somewhere in the scriptures for enjoyment but will soon begin to focus my effort on specifics.

"Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country." Steven Wright

We ( Cindy and I) continue to get occasional phone calls from our granddaughter Mo. Often her parents know about it and sometimes they don't. I'm not sure I even knew the telephone existed when I was that young (she will be 4 in a month or so). Those are fun conversations and usually leave a smile on my face even if I have to make it a short call because of work or other responsibilities.

"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand." Steven Wright

This should be a very good and busy week. I am looking forward to seeing it through to completion. I hope you all have a good one as well.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.  

"Men are what their mothers made them." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The mother's heart is the child's school room." Henry Ward Beecher

She has been gone since January of 2013 and I still think of her each day. I have moved past the reaching for the phone to call her phase though there are moments when I really need to speak with her and get her reassurance or opinion. She loved sharing both. I can't speak for her other son in any other thing but in this one thing we agree - Emerson got it right. "Men are what their mother's made them."

The memories I have of her begin when I was very small. Her image dominates all the memories of my youth. Even when she was not present in my everyday the thought of her and what she would think of the things I was (and was not) doing informed many of the choices made. Bill Watterson shared many interactions between Calvin and his Mother that were humorous because they were a reflection of life. I'll share a few here and hope Mr. Watterson will forgive me for borrowing.










As we brought grandchildren into her life I was reminded of many of the difficult things that she went through with her sons. She loved all of them and welcomed them with joy. I'm not sure she was really ready to be Grandma when the first arrived but she smiled and accepted that this part of her life had arrived. She also had the opportunity to meet some of her great grandchildren and by then was loving this period of life.

If your Mom is gone - I feel your pain. If she is still around - appreciate her.

Just a short post today. Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"I'm not funny. What I am is brave." Lucille Ball

Becoming (noun); The process of coming to be something or of passing into a state, any process of change or growing to be.

"Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more." (Tony Robbins)

Have you ever had the experience of wanting to become better at doing something but never really knowing where to look for help? Do you see friends, family, and even neighbors seemingly moving beyond anything you ever thought possible?

The answers are out there to be sure. But, more often than not, at least for me, they are found in what I choose to do each day. As I sit here pondering how to say what would be said here today I am thinking about all the time I spend doing nothing. Literally nothing. Its frightening to contemplate. How in the world did life come to this particular set of bad habits and lack of effort? On some level I want to be a better person. More successful, healthier, happier, a better husband to my wife, a better father to my children, and a better friend to all. I am not sure I have ever in my years upon this earth given my all to much of anything - not even my own selfish needs.

John Wooden is quoted as saying, "Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming."

Walter Cronkite said, "I can't imagine a person becoming a success who doesn't give this game of life everything he's got."

Sometimes I think we get so caught up in the desire to succeed that we become paralyzed instead of productive. It may even be that we think that overwhelming goal we call success is just so far away we decide that there is no amount of effort that will get us there so we fall into those lazy habits that are so easy to pursue. I'm beginning to believe that some effort at pursuing a more successful path will become an aid in developing those skills and habits that will lead one to being more. Becoming something more.

Often it is as simple as making a decision at the end of each day to make the coming day more productive. In other words end each day with the beginning in mind and begin each day with the end in mind. It does seem that a few minutes of planning each evening (or at the end of the work day) for the next days activities would be a productive few minutes that should add clarity to the coming evening and morning. To sleep with the thoughts of what could be accomplished rattling around your subconscious ought to be very beneficial. I think I'll give it a try.

In the last post here I spoke about keeping a journal each day. I think a combination activity of recording those memorable and mundane moments of each day along with an agenda for the coming day should bring about a very positive result. The main thing for me to accomplish is eliminating much of the non-productive (nothing) time from each day and evening. Of course there will be bumps and hiccups along the way. Things will arise that cause a course change to occur. It still will be a better idea to have a plan and have the need to change its execution than have no plan and lose opportunity for productivity.

I don't know that these changes will make anyone a super achiever, but they are a step in that direction and will lead from good things to better things. And perhaps even to best things.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Oatmeal, mouth wash, fiber, ....

Sitting below my computer monitor in my office at work is a sticky note pad with the beginning of a list of things I would like to pick up from the store on my way home this evening. This list was started this morning almost as soon as I arrived at work and sat down. It is my strong desire to take this list with me when I head out the door in a few hours. There is a very good possibility that when I return to this office Monday morning the list will still be affixed to the sticky note pad sitting in the same spot on the desk right below the computer monitor. Not because I don't want to have the reminder in hand when I walk into the store. No. I realize that without the list in hand I will forget something and will consequently need to make a second trip later or just do without for another day.

My wife and I stopped at this same store last night following a nice dinner at a local eatery because I needed to pick up a prescription that has been ready for a day or two (I didn't forget just didn't need until last night). We sat in the parking lot (finishing off a couple small DQ ice cream cones) and I tried to remember the few additional items I should purchase while there. Total blank. I did remember some of it after returning to the car as we were leaving the parking lot. Nothing important enough to park and return to the store before tonight, hence the list. I realize that the unimportance of the items on the list is a likely cause of the memory issue but I also know that there are times when important items elude me. Heck there are days when I am distracted enough by life that I can walk into a store with a list and leave without everything intended.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, "If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month." I recognize that I am the creator of all that ails (fails?) me. "My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." (Mitch Hedburg). What a pain in the back-side a faulty memory can be, or faulty choices can be.

I know people who are the master of all they survey. Many of them have assistants, secretaries, and employees to help them maintain the illusion. That is all it is - illusion. In employment if there were no customers, or managers to remind us we would easily turn from our intended path. Not maliciously, mind you, it is just so dang easy to succumb to those distractions that crop up in our everyday. For the last 15-20 years I have intended to spend a few minutes daily or weekly writing a note in a journal. Have I done so? No. Have I thought of it? Of course. The transition from thinking to doing has been a bit of a stumbling block. I explained to my sweetheart a few  years ago that I would like to attempt writing some short stories or a book. I kind of feel like Steven Wright who quipped, "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." only I don't even have that.

My problem is that the pattern I have adopted for each day never changes and has become very comfortable. When good things that should be done arise it is difficult to adjust. It is just too easy to leave things undone. I like that television program, I want to go to bed at an early hour, I worked hard all day and deserve some time to vegetate, and the list of excuses goes on and on. Give me a specific task to get done and let me do it between the hours of 5:00 am and 7:00 pm and it will get done but don't infringe on those sacred hours outside that time frame or there will be a fight. An attitude I suspect my current church service is, partly, designed to change. And it has on a limited basis. I should probably just surrender my attitude to the reality that much good could come about for me and those closest to me if only that mould (not sure why I prefer the British spelling) could be broken.

A decision has been made. My effort will be increased. Somehow, someway, I'll create the energy and the resolve to break out of these destructive patterns. I think the first thing to fall should be that journal. I will begin today. Since it seems important there will be future updates as to how it is going. It feels like it will need to be a daily event or it won't happen.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world." Leo Buscaglia

Fans of Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes comic strip may remember the strip that shows Calvin and Hobbes in bed, with Calvin commiserating that he could not sleep, and that nighttime must be dark so you can better imagine your fears. He then notices that Hobbes (stuffed tiger) is asleep next to him and he gets caught up in watching him and commenting on how he looks when he sleeps and how tightly he closes his eyes. Calvin then remarks "Good ol' Hobbes, what a friend." He then puts his head down on the pillow and says, "Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend." And he drifts off to sleep. What a great sentiment. Thank you Bill Watterson for that gentle reminder of the importance of friends.

I had a customer who recently had his seventieth birthday. We spoke about our respective families for a moment and he asked me if I had any siblings. Of course I told him I have one brother who lives in another part of the country. He asked if we are close. I had to admit that we really are not. He asked if I minded sharing with him how old I am? I told him. He laughed and shared with me the thought that he and his brother were no different. He said those years from about 30-60 brothers are so busy with their own lives that they rarely communicate. He indicated that in his informal survey of friends and acquaintances it has been universally true that as men (brothers) near retirement and life begins to slow down they once again become friends. I hope this is true for Mitchell D. and me. I know it would make our Mother very happy.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once observed that "The only way to have a friend is to be one."

As I sit here composing this post I find myself wondering if I have ever truly been a friend. Based on the Emerson quote I suppose I have. I have enjoyed many friends in my life. Still do have many whom I consider friends. According to dictionary.com a friend is,

"a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard." 

Seems kind of clinical but accurate. According to Facebook I have 264 friends (pretty sure I have many more but some are not on that site).

Jeff Foxworthy says, "There are friends, then there are the friends you can talk about anything with (and also go to jail with)." A funny bit with a lot of truth in it. In that same vein Walter Winchell is quoted as saying, "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." There are many in my life that I can count on when in a difficult spot. They are there when needed and have even been willing to step in at great inconvenience to themselves. Grateful for them and their friendship.  Hopefully they all know that I am there for them in times of trouble and need.

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship." Thomas Aquinas

A short post for today. Hopefully some value added to someone. Pausing and thinking about the friends in my life has made it very worthwhile for me. "Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend." (Watterson)

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Sometimes it is good to do nothing.

I was a participant in a meeting once where I mentioned that I was feeling guilty about spending a recent day doing absolutely nothing more than the minimal requirements of the day. I then went on to talk about some of the things I missed out on by not actively participating in some of the potential activities that were available to me on that date. Following the meeting one of those attending approached me and spoke about the need, from time to time, that he had to spend time just like I was feeling guilty about. He said that I missed out on the enjoyment, that he discovered, of doing nothing and suggested that I should change my view. I'm not sure whether he is right or wrong in that regard but I have learned that I do need an occasional day when my participation in it is minimal. I have learned to not feel guilty about spending a day so casually as long as they happen infrequently.

We had the opportunity to visit our family in Nashville, Tennessee this past weekend and the plan included several days of doing nothing. We made no plans other than church on Sunday and a get together with friends of our family that we also have come to love and enjoy spending time with. It was fantastic. Sleeping a little later than normal (7 to 8ish). Watching movies. Sitting around the dinner table visiting. Not even thinking about e-mail or Facebook. Not a care in the world other than what was happening right in front of us. Watching grandchildren play together. Reading to them and listening to them read to us. Hearing the joy in their voices as they sing to no one in particular (in their loudest voices). A very good few days of other than normal activity. Loved it.

Monday came. Time to think about heading home. What's that you say? The flight has been canceled? Cool. More time to spend in the pursuit of nothing in particular. After texting employers and family members, and two hours on hold waiting to re-schedule that flight home we once again could take some time to do nothing. This day was only different in that we could not venture outside due to frigid temperatures and ice on every surface visible. So we stayed in and listened as more songs were sung, more time was spent in conversation, and the brain slowly switched back from it's time to head for home to it's time for more resting and enjoying what is right here.

We found plenty to occupy our time. The added two days in Tennessee passed very steadily and we finally had to say our goodbyes. The journey home was uneventful but long. Three airports, and a 5 hour drive later, we backed into the garage. After two days of catching up at work I have had a few minutes to reflect on the things learned (or re-learned) about time spent doing nothing. I guess I can sum it up like this; Doing nothing while spending time with family and friends becoming reacquainted, observing the interactions among those we have come to love, shutting off the cares and concerns of life in the rear-view mirror, is some of the best time spent.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." George Burns

In the early hours of the morning I sometimes wonder why in the heck I am awake. In the same moment I often realize that I am awake because I ache from the top of my head all the way to my ankles. I can't remember being in an accident, or falling while snowboarding (I don't snowboard), or being in some other physical altercation, but I sure do feel like it. Then the realization hits that in order for me to get some relief from the ache I will need to get out of bed, lumber to the medicine cabinet stopping on the way for some bladder relief... .and I don't think I have the strength to do any of it. So I lay there eyes closed and wide awake trying to decide if it's worth it to make the attempt. I promise myself that if I am awake five minutes from now I'll get up and go do something about it. And so five minutes later I roll out of bed stalk out to the kitchen to take some over the counter pain relief, having paused along the way to take care of that other need, pour myself a tall glass of cool water (having voided the bladder I now need to refill it) and sit down at the kitchen table to read something for a few minutes to see if I can become drowsy again.

They tell me this is a part of getting older. I don't like it at all. 

I went for my annual physical this past week and found out that I am as healthy as I can be for having all the maladies that I have. All are managed well... . save 1. Still packing too much weight on this five foot eleven inch frame. So it begins again for me - starting the process of trying to lose some of this excess baggage around my middle. I spoke with my physician about what limitations I have and so I will begin to push a little. This is a strange place to be for someone who still thinks he is in his twenties. I look in the mirror every morning and wonder who that old man is standing in front of me. I wait impatiently for him to get out of the way so I can shave and get my day started. He eventually steps up to the sink and gets it all done in a slow methodical fashion and finally I can get in there and get ready myself. He steps out of the way and I'm done.

Well this year I am starting early. Getting ready for the Mike the Headless Chicken Festival 5k fun run/walk. Last year I finished in just under an hour. This year I hope to finish in the middle forties. Training for the event will begin in earnest now that we are through the worst of winter. I am looking forward to finding where my limitations begin and trying to push beyond them. Oh don't worry, it isn't my intent to do myself any harm but I have learned that pushing a little past the beginning of discomfort eventually makes it easier and moves that line a little farther away. 

I suppose in many ways I am getting old. This body is anyway. My mind and spirit, on the other hand, constantly remind me that I don't have to get old in my attitude. It will have to be the mind and spirit that pull the body forward to a new healthy. The body in and of itself doesn't have what it takes to push limits anymore. Mr. Burns was right "You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."

Oh, back to the beginning. Often I find that as I read my mind and spirit settle down my heart rate slows and that readiness for slumber does return. Nearly always one of the books I find on the kitchen table that brings me back to a place where I can relax is my Bible. Not because it bores me. Quite the contrary, but it does bring me that peace of mind that makes me realize that the ache I felt all along wasn't necessarily my aging body - but the desire, the hunger, the thirst for something greater. As I finish reading I offer a silent prayer of thanksgiving for those records that have been preserved over the generations so we (you and I) can feel that peace.

That's all for now. Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Random thoughts from the mind that never sleeps II.

"A well spent day brings happy sleep" (Leonardo daVinci)

I have experienced this and find it to be true. When I have the most productive day, whether mental or physical, I get the best sleep. The problem I have is that I only sleep well for a few hours and then end up in that never-land between good sleep and nearly awake - for the rest of the night. What is it that causes this to happen? I wish someone would tell me. It is not the kind of sleep that I prefer. I like waking up refreshed and raring to go in the morning. The energy that springs from an awake mind is something missing in my life and much desired.

"How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?" (Dr. Seuss).

It seems as if each time a conversation is had with family member or friend a comment is made about the fact that it is already first November then December. Where in the heck did this year go? Before we know it January will be knocking on the door (started this one a while ago - January is here). I'm not really complaining its entirely possible that this mind could drive me crazy if time moved any slower. The nights are long enough without the days dragging by as well.

Are you getting the idea that I am looking for reasons to be curmudgeonly today? Well enough of that silly nonsense.

Cindy recently rode the train from Provo, Utah to Grand Junction. Something she says she has always wanted to do. She also says she enjoyed the trip and will possibly do it again. I've ridden a train before and will not voluntarily do so again. Sure I was a small boy and not really interested in being confined to a seat for the duration of the journey. It took forever to get from Glenwood Springs to Grand Junction (at least to a young boy) and I have not forgotten that fact.

I'm sitting here near the end of a quietly productive day contemplating what to do tonight upon my arrival home. I suspect nourishment will be on the immediate agenda. I recently began reading the new Jack Ryan novel (Tom Clancy - RIP and Mark Greaney) and could put in a few hours reading and considering. It is also possible that I may just sit and view a movie or watch a little television with Cindy. Some might think that time would be spent preparing for meetings at Church tomorrow - that work has already been done. We will see.

With all the variety of activities available to us in this lifetime I sometimes wonder how the days end up being the same. Monday we do this, Tuesday this, etc... and it seems to run on and on with not much change. I do love the familiar but it seems to be taken to the extreme as I ponder the week past.

The year has ended and I have spent some time thinking about goals for the coming months. Nothing set just yet. I don't share those typically here but may do so this year. I may need the supporting comments of friends and family as I attempt to improve our situation. Again, we will see. Either way the plan will be made by the end of the coming week.

You were warned in the title. Random thoughts.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.