"I like to reminisce with people I don't know." Steven Wright

I recently had the opportunity to spend time with a family that just suffered the loss of a loved one. The first opportunity for me to have this responsibility since being called to serve as Bishop of the Mount Sneffels Ward here in Montrose, CO. When I took that phone call from some of the missionaries assigned to serve in our area a flood of memories came rushing in. Dad died in 2006 and Mom in 2012 and many of the feelings I had during those events came to mind as I began to help this family plan to say goodbye to their loved one. I met with the family mid-day on the Saturday following their loss. I had not met any of them before that moment. You might think that would make this easier but, for me at least, it did not. There are questions that have to be asked. With clear answers not necessarily easily found.

While not having personal grief to deal with in this situation, having had my own experience in dealing with those feelings certainly helped me to notice those tender moments when an arm around the shoulder or a full on embrace was needed. In a circumstance like this when death came unexpectedly and suddenly it seems that it is very hard on everyone. No time to prepare, no time to say goodbye. Even when someone is in below average health we seem to believe that that moment is some time in the future. Sitting with the family in that first meeting on Saturday I realized how true the statement that a parent should never have to bury or grieve over the death of a child. Still applies even when the parents are in their 80's and the child is in his 60's.

There were a lot of friends and family who attended the service at the church. This fact seemed to bring some comfort to the family members. The service was filled with a comfortable, sweet spirit that touched the heart of many. The graveside moment was also well attended. His father dedicated the grave-site in a humble prayer of faith. I had much to consider as I drove home from Ridgway that afternoon. And much to be grateful for.

Kind of a downer today. I apologize for that only a little. These are things we all need to consider and plan for - better now than in a moment of distress and grief. I'm not telling you to rush out and make all your arrangements (that would be up to you). I am suggesting that it might be a good idea to at least have some conversations and write some of those thoughts down so you don't have several people remembering things differently and disagreeing about what should be done. Grief is hard enough without adding disagreement over the wishes of a loved one.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it." Willy Wonka

"My favorite things in life don't cost any money. It's really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time." (Steve Jobs)

Time.

I wonder, often, if I am making the best use of time. Like most of you I suppose there are days when I do accomplish all that is possible and then on other days nothing seems to get done. In my professional life I have the potential for a lot of down time. If other salespeople are not working deals and bringing those customers to see me to complete their contracts and other legal requirements I don't always have work related items that demand my attention. There are days, though when it seems that I arrive in my office to find a customer waiting for me and then I look up and it is 5:00 pm and time to start thinking about what happens that evening. I need to find productive things to do that will make each day like that.

The real problem, as I see it, with having days like today where there are no customers in the store, no deals to work online, and no fires from previous contracts to put out, lead to habits that make it difficult to transition back to going full bore upon my arrival at home. Often these days of inactivity leave me so worn out mentally that it is hard to get motivated to activity throughout the evening. That means that Mrs. Mahan suffers because I am less inclined to help out with the few things that I can do to assist her around our home. Sometimes I mentally blame it on my physical (lack of) health and she, grudgingly, lets me get away with it.

I am resolved that this needs to change. Time is a very precious resource and once expended it cannot be retrieved. We just have to move on anew.

Speaking of time well spent. As posted a few months ago we had our annual reunion at Powderhorn Resort on Grand Mesa over Labor Day weekend. What a great time. Three days and nights spent with 23 of the best people I know. All our children (their spouses), grandchildren, and friends that we have come to love just as much as our own children. A lot of time spent just conversing and renewing relationships. We have some traditions (new and old) that have become part of this weekend. We love going to Lands End overlook on top of Grand Mesa to watch the setting sun over the Colorado National Monument to the west. The sun setting and the lights coming on in the Grand Valley make for a beautiful sight. Many photos taken and kind of a culminating event that signals that we are soon to return to life in whatever lane we run in normally.

It was good to have them all there this year. It has been several years since we all could make it. I am amused and pleased that the technology of today (smart phones with Facetime capability) make it so that cousins that live hundreds of miles apart know one another by sight and voice and already have a better relationship than I ever had with my cousins who lived nearby. They pick up their conversations as though they live next door and play together daily. Grandma also benefits from the technology (she can't work it easily, also amusing, but she gets by) and has a more personal relationship with each of those granddaughters than would have been possible a few decades ago.

A good use of time? I think so. But that technology that can be such a blessing can also become a distraction that leads to inattention to other things that should command more of our time. The old adage "everything in moderation" seems to universally apply even to modern advances.

Well, enough written for today. I hope you all are well.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

What a great place to spend time with family!

It is that time again. The Mahan, Sadler, Mahan, Griffith, Glem, Guzman, Esplin, and (for this year at least) Thorne families will gather in this beautiful part of Western Colorado to spend a few days getting reacquainted, sharing news, and introducing new family members and friends to each other. It has been several years since we all have made the journey and the excitement has been building for several weeks.

I lost count of the years we have been enjoying this family retreat that began at Mesa Lakes Resort (probably in the early 1990's) that we quickly outgrew as more family and friends were invited to join us. We made the move to Powderhorn Resort during a year of ownership change at Mesa Lakes and decided the comfort and space afforded by the Goldenwoods Condos at Powderhorn would be more amenable to our needs.

There have been many late nights spent playing board games, many early morning hours contemplating looming opportunity and change, but mostly just being proximate to those we love have brought us each joy in the opportunity. We have always been a close family and these shared experiences have made us more so.

This year we have Matt and Lesley Ram Thorne joining us along with their daughter Evelyn. Matt joined us one year when he and Adam (our son) were serving in the Marine Corps together. It must have been in 2002 or maybe 2003 - and he has wanted to make a return visit since that time but has not been able to work it out. We were very pleased when Lesley contacted us last spring to see if they could do so this year as a surprise to him. It is Matt's 40th birthday anniversary this September so we will add his name to the list of those we will celebrate on Sunday.

"A home with a loving and loyal husband and wife is the supreme setting in which children can be reared in righteousness and in which the spiritual and physical needs of children can be met." (David A Bednar)

I understand that there are some who do not live in this ideal family setting and they get along just fine. I wonder if they might do a little better with a two parent household. We each have the option of choosing the path we follow. I will say that my personal belief is that the traditional family structure is the best way to rear children. From my own experience it worked very well. I think the comfort of having that structure comes from knowing that there is always someone to turn to when one parent is overwhelmed with the daily grind or occasional emergent circumstance family members deal with.

Lately I have been observing the interaction between my children and my grandchildren with amused interest. I often hear them saying things that their Mother said as they were growing up (and even words from my own mouth on occasion). The reality is that she (Cindy) taught them well and they still turn to her for guidance in raising their families. I often have the blessing of sitting nearby when one of ours reaches out to Cindy for counsel about a particular situation in their home. The advice is usually sound and also makes a difference to those mothers, our daughters, who already have arrived at the answer but seek the confirmation from their Mom that they are on the right track.

Family! Joy and sorrow brought to pass in the same DNA. I am looking forward to a great weekend spent with this marvelous family of mine. I do love the people they are becoming.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Random thoughts from the mind that never sleeps.

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect." Steven Wright

As I was driving to visit some friends in Ridgway Colorado recently I traveled through an area that I had not been through before. Along the way there were many deer and other critters grazing and, apparently, just hanging out near the road I was driving on. It had been raining throughout the late afternoon hours so the foliage and animals were soaked with moisture - though they did not seem to mind. There are many of my acquaintance who live in this part of Colorado, though most of our interaction takes place at church or in the Montrose area. I realized as I was  headed into this somewhat unfamiliar territory that there is a lot of this part of the world that I have not spent time in. My loss.

A few days ago my sweetheart (Cindy) made a comment that went something like, "You would think that after living here for 8 years I would be more familiar with the surrounding area. People talk to me about local geography and I have no idea what the heck they are talking about!" I invited her to ride along with me last night but she had other commitments that made that impossible. We need to spend more time exploring the surrounding territory over the coming months and years. If nothing else good comes from the effort at least we will be a little more familiar with where places are and what they look like.

A long time ago but not too far away, it did not take a lot of outside input for us to drive an hour or two to spend some time in the outdoors - exploring those venues that could be reached in that time frame. We knew most of the geography of the area where we had grown up and did not hesitate to go anywhere. Things changed with the introduction of small children (though it should not have) and the big change came when we moved to the Metro Denver area. The motivation to go into the wilds of Colorado diminished as life got busier and pressure to maintain a home and family grew.

Now the nest is empty. It is time to get back out there.

Just a short post today. Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

 

"Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one." Dr. Seuss

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go." (Dr. Seuss)

I try to have a positive outlook on life and its circumstances, most of the time. But there are days when it can be a battle to see the bright side. Today could have been one of those days with a cloud appearing over my head. I just returned to my office from a funeral for a twenty-two year old woman who passed as a result of injuries from a roll-over vehicle accident last week. She leaves behind a spouse and two small children in addition to many other family members and friends.

It is hard when thinking of something like this to see any good or positive thing that may come from it. It also is too easy to dwell on all the obvious negatives. Seeing the suffering and pain of the family and close friends of this young woman is a hard thing. To try and provide any comfort or peace is difficult. I think that the simple act of being there provides a little comfort. Words spoken will be forgotten, but physical presence can and does provide a needed reminder that we are not alone here.

A Facebook friend of mine (former co-worker) over the course of the past year went through the experience of watching one of her children slowly die. She posted this thought a month or so following her daughters death.

    "We all grieve differently, I understand that. But I get tired of being treated like I am broken because I've lost a child. I'm sometimes sad or angry, but choose to be grateful. I choose to honor the time I've been given, my other children, and most of all Mia's memory by consciously searching for positive thoughts and memories and enjoying the new positive memories I get to make each day. Some days it's harder than others but I choose to live, not wallow, because Mia would be very mad if I wasted the opportunity to be happy. I'll see her again and know she understand and be glad I choose to live."

                                                                                                                  Jennelle TerHar Ertl

I have not had to endure anything akin to the loss of one of our children. I agree wholeheartedly with the often used quote that "A parent should never have to bury one of their children." Having read the post on Jenelle's Facebook wall I was moved to ponder if I would have the strength to endure such an occurrence with the same uplifting attitude. I like to believe that I would. And thank you Jennelle for sharing the journey that began for you and your family nearly a year ago.

I don't know the faith of all who might read these words - but faith in God makes a tremendous difference for me. It is my faith that helps me to have a positive outlook most of the time. Though there are those occasional days (like this one) when things that occur dampen that positive outlook.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

5k results and other random thoughts.

3 minutes faster than the first event. Still slower than the 55 minute pace I was hoping for. 4 daughters and their spouses joined me for this 5k event. They all did very well. My youngest daughter Kelli walked with me everyone else ran/jogged the entire course. As mentioned last time I am looking at options for another 5k in early August - still trying to achieve that 55 minute or faster time.

I am not a runner. Never claimed to be. I will begin running a little to build more stamina and try to lose some of the extra weight I have been adding over the last couple decades. Health issues will be limiting how much I can do, but I will push a little to test my limits and (hopefully) begin to stretch those limits incrementally as I gain strength. I am hopeful that I will be able to run the entire course next spring when the Mike the Headless Chicken Festival comes around again.

As Kelli  and I walked this past weekend we had a good conversation about upcoming events in her life. She will begin teaching first grade (her own classroom) at Loma Elementary School this fall. She is very excited to begin this adventure and all I can say is those are some very fortunate children.

I have had occasion to consider how easily I fall into patterns in my life. Patterns that tend to repeat daily. I awake at a certain hour, with or without an alarm, I do certain things in a certain order to begin and end each day. Throughout each day I find that the same things happen again and again and I wonder if I am really doing the best I can with each of those moments. Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes no (I hope you are no different than me). I am starting to wonder how to change the pattern. How do I/we turn those mundane patterns into something more fulfilling and productive.

In October of 2007 Dallin H. Oaks shared some insights that have started to help me understand a little better how I might choose differently. He began with this comment,

"We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available for accomplishing them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives."

"...As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best. Even though a particular choice is more costly, its far greater value may make it the best choice of all."

Choices. I find that this is a topic I spend a great deal of time thinking about lately. On occasion I wonder about the course life might have taken with a different choice made when I was a younger man. I tend to be satisfied with the direction of my life so I'm not sure that if I could do things again that the result would be any different. I think we make decisions that affect us into the future, based on available current information. Often these decisions are made with little thought beyond the immediate resulting consequence. Should we give greater consideration? Perhaps. Though it is not clear to me that we would make a different choice based on that further reflection (I can't speak for anyone but me, of course).

I noticed for the first time (again) that one of my granddaughters has a habit when I asking her "How are you doing?" of replying to me as if I asked "What are you doing?". She usually turns toward me with a grin and replies "Oh, nothing." I'm sitting here writing this with a big smile on my face. I don't see any of those granddaughters all the time so this interaction catches me off guard the first time the question is asked during each visit. I am amused by this and hope for its continuation for some time to come. The memory will be cherished.

That's it for today. I warned you at the subject line (random thoughts).

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Mike the Headless Chicken 5k

So here we are two months after the last post. The Mike the headless chicken 5k came and went and I did not post an update. My plan for this first ever was to walk the distance comfortably but as briskly as I could. I hoped to complete the course in about 55-56 minutes. Two of my daughters, Jennifer (the eldest) and Kelli (the youngest) walked just a little ahead of me. My brother-in-law Dan walked with me the whole way. Dan usually runs a few of these each spring and summer. I appreciate that he decided to support me by staying alongside for this journey. My official time was just over 59 minutes so a little slower than I hoped but still a number I am happy with - for a first attempt.

Coming up this weekend a much larger group of family members will be participating in another 5k run/walk also in Grand Junction. Jennifer, Holly and her husband Eric, Lisa and her husband Alejandro, and Kelli will be joining me as I try to improve on the effort from last month. It will be a walk again for me but my overall strength is improving and I will start doing a little running in the next few weeks. I e-mailed Holly and Eric last week sometime and began by asking if they were getting excited for the upcoming run? and then commented "Me either". But I do realize that without a goal of some kind I would likely not have enough motivation to push myself to go a little farther or a little faster. So the schedule causes me to put in a little more effort.

With that thought in mind, there is another scheduled event on August 9 that I will be shooting for. I hope to be able to run a portion of the course by then. We'll see.

As to the overall purpose of getting this ole body into better condition. Not a lot to report at this time. I will keep pushing a little more now and into the future and expect that the effort will ultimately payoff with the desired result.

As you well know two days ago we celebrated Fathers. This was a particularly difficult Fathers day for me. I lost dad 8 years ago and have not had a particularly difficult time of it celebrating this holiday. It was different this time. My younger brother posted to Facebook on Sunday, "Dad, I miss and love you. Thanks for going to bat for me so many times. I know you were my biggest fan."

along with this photo;



Dad loved sporting events of all varieties. He especially enjoyed attending in person. Every spring, summer, or fall trip to Denver he would try to make it to a Colorado Rockies game. He and Mom would even make it to watch the Denver Broncos for a preseason game every other year or so. Late summer in Denver being as warm as it is Mom probably needed two years to recover.

No great words here today. Just the rambling thoughts of a distracted man trying to find his way in the world.

I'll let you know how the weekend goes.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver" Mahatma Gandhi

I have allowed other things (not necessarily more important things) keep me from writing here for the past month or so. I plan to rectify the situation beginning with this post.

Each day of the week I begin to awaken sometime between 4:40 am and 5:00 am. I slowly progress to full wakefulness over 5 or 10 minutes. Once there I have to decide if I wait for the alarm to get me out of bed or do I just get up and get the day started. Much of the time I get up  and get going before the alarm so Cindy is not disturbed. Four mornings each week I pedal an exercise bicycle for 30-40 minutes while viewing a devotional on KBYU television. I then spend about a half hour reading scripture and having my own morning devotional. This is about all I have time for during the hour and 20 minutes available before I need to begin getting ready for work. As far as conditioning goes I also walk several miles in the evening.

I look at the physical feats of friends and acquaintances and marvel at how men in my age bracket are able to do such amazing things. Shawn Mitchell climbing the Flatirons in Boulder County and walking and climbing other trails and outcroppings. Dave Schultz running marathons and other shorter races. I see men and women of my acquaintance who are active and engaged in life in a way that blows my mind. How do they do it? I think that most of these whom I admire have always done these things. When they were young they did it because they enjoyed it, or because they have a competitive spirit that leads them to push their own limits while trying the limits of others as well. Good habits of health developed while younger that pay dividends into these older middle-aged years.

I never enjoyed running. I did run if it was part of a game I played (softball, basketball, etc.) I gave up on track when I was a young teenager. Pedaling a bicycle in traffic never seemed to make much sense to me and the few times I did it I found it to be a lot of work - and who wants to work for fitness anyway? It sure seemed to me that there was no need to take care of this ole body. I was always thin and could hike or run (in my foolish youth) or pedal just about anywhere I wanted to go for fun. Then life started to get in the way. A job change that required working overnight, or late into the evening. Sleeping during the day really messed with my circadian rhythms and led to a decided lack of energy when awake. But I needed to provide for a growing family and this was the only job I could find at the time.

Looking back on those years I recognize that there were several times when I attempted to get back into a workout of sorts. I attempted to play basketball with friends several days each week during the winter months. I found that my legs were lead filled and it hurt to breath. I tried rollerblading, cycling, just simply walking, but none seemed to be enough. Sooo, my physical condition continued to deteriorate and the pounds packed on, and on, and on. And now here we are. I will confess here that my weight has ballooned to as high as 320 pounds and I have for short periods of time gotten that weight all the way down to 260 for a few brief weeks. I have never been able to maintain any weight under 300 over the last 15 years.

By-pass surgery in 2011 did not even provide me with any motivation to make any significant changes in my life that would lead to better health. I am not sure why, but now seems to be the time that I have become determined to change this aspect of my life. I see those granddaughters of mine and would like to hang around long enough to really get to know them. And I would really enjoy being able to spend a much longer life with their grandmother. I'm afraid if I don't do something now those two things may not be possible. For those few who have made it this far into this post (thank you) I encourage you to check in with me from time to time to see how it is going. I will report here at least monthly as to how my life is changing and how the weight loss is going. It took a long time to put on these pounds and I suspect it will require a great effort and a lot of support to take it off.

I have decided to participate in a 5k on May 17th in Fruita Colorado (Mike the Headless Chicken fun run). It will likely be a walk for me with just a little running. I will not ever run a marathon (sorry Dave you are on your own there) or climb a mountain. But I will climb this mountain.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

“A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.” Bill Cosby

As mentioned in my previous post my wife and I just returned from a quick weekend trip to visit our daughter Stefanie, her husband Matthew, and two of our grandchildren (Michaela, and Lucy). I discovered long ago that three days away from work is about all I can handle. Even when we are away for longer periods I start thinking about what is happening and what problems I will encounter upon my return - so I may as well be back in the stirrups. I also wrote that I would share some of the details of the trip in my next post. Here goes.

We left Montrose, Colorado early on Saturday heading to Denver where we would lunch with our daughter Jennifer, our son Adam, his wife Kara, and three of our grand children (Quincy, Tessa, and Paisley). We did see Jennifer's husband Nick  for a few minutes but he was not able to join us for lunch. Following lunch and enjoying the interaction of three small girls playing together, Adam took us to Denver International Airport for our flight to Nashville.

The flight was delayed about an hour and twenty minutes so we had time to sit and watch the people on the concourse coming and going. I noticed several birds that have made their way inside the terminal where there are plenty of dropped crackers and other treats for them to feast upon. Shelter from the elements with treats, what more could a little songbird ask for? The flight was uneventful.

Upon arrival at Nashville International Airport we were collected by Stefanie and we went and grabbed a late fast food dinner on the way to their home. Matthew and the band he is part of (The Matte Gray Band) were playing at "The Stage on Broadway" in downtown Nashville so he was not at home at that time.

Sunday morning we awakened to our granddaughters excited greeting. Granddaughters are the best. Michaela had been looking forward to our arrival for nearly 3 weeks and was very excited to greet us. It took a little longer for Lucy, who is 17 months old, to warm up to granddad. We enjoyed a quiet morning with Miki sharing some of her artwork with me. She even autographed a drawing for me. She discovered that her name and mine are almost the same and it really surprised her. We went to church where Stefanie sang a duet then we returned home to have lunch with Mitch and Beth. A good visit with them. He seems very happy with life right now and Beth deserves a lot of credit for that.

Sunday evening we attended the Nashville Symphony performance titled "Let Freedom Sing". Kelly Corcoran conducted with the Nashville Symphony Celebration Chorus, the Celebration Youth Chorus both performing. Stefanie sings with the Nashville Symphony Chorus and a few of those members joined the Celebration Chorus for the evening. What a great celebration they performed. Kudos to all the performers and soloists. A very enjoyable evening of music and history. I did not know that Nashville played such a prominent role in the civil rights movement. A very informative evening for me.

Monday we spent the morning and early afternoon at the Frist Museum. My sweetheart has always been a big fan of Norman Rockwell art and the Frist Museum has on loan from the Norman Rockwell Museum a significant amount of his artwork including all of the covers he did for the Saturday Evening Post and several other publications of the era. The history of america as told by a keen observer of the day. His civil rights pieces I have never seen before - they are somewhat disturbing especially if you take the time to read about the events that led to their creation. The history recorded on the cover of the magazines he painted for is significant. I am no art critic, but the display and description were very worth the few hours spent.

I will just mention briefly that I am married to one of the most wonderful women I know. She is game for many things that are surprising to me and has tried to embrace some of the technology of the modern world. I won't tell the stories here but let it be sufficient for me to say that she had a bit of a struggle with her iphone, the computer kiosk at the airport terminal, the camera on her phone, and the list goes on. I will save the specifics for my own late night amusement.

Tuesday home. I wrote of that journey in n earlier post. Let me add just one comment - 5 granddaughters smiling and running and jumping and climbing in 3 days time made for a very memorable trip. I enjoyed all the other things we did while on this adventure. I loved the time spent with those little girls. They have won my heart.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Homeward bound!

Cindy and I took a long weekend trip to visit our family in Nashville over the MLK Jr. holiday weekend. It was a busy few days filled with family, friends, music, art, and much humor. I will blog about the trip and the activities next time. For today I want to share some of my musings about home, specifically about returning home after a journey.

As comfortable as I am visiting new places, sleeping in unfamiliar accommodations, spending time with new friends, and making new acquaintances along the way. I was reminded that I am really a homebody. I love the familiar. Some might look at my life in Colorado and think that I am stuck in a rut. And, from a distance, I suppose it does look that way. However, I don't think that I/we are any different from most of the rest of the world. We live where we live because we like it. We do the things we do because it satisfies a hunger we feel. When that want changes, or we discover a new want in life we make adjustments and fall into a new pattern (rut).

As we boarded our flight to return to Denver I noticed that my attitude was changing. We had just said goodbye to our daughter (Stefanie), her husband (Matthew) and family (Michaela and Lucy) accompanied by the minor pain associated with the knowledge that we will not spend more time together for several months. When I realized that I was already beginning to shift back into my Colorado/work/relaxation mode. I had not noticed a shift as we headed toward Nashville and family, but did feel that change as we headed home.

The excitement grew as we returned to Denver International Airport and continued to build as we headed west in interstate 70 toward Grand Junction. By the time we exited the interstate and turned south toward our home in Montrose I was again energized by the familiar. Other parts of the country fascinate me. I want to know the history of places. I want to see the sights and experience what those places have to offer, but, that final turn toward home and what is familiar has always had a profound effect on me.
  

The lyrics for the song Homeward Bound by Marta Keen Thompson appear below. This is from the arrangement done for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir by Mack Wilberg. A beautifully performed piece that has made its way around the globe in many different interpretations. I have heard it performed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on Music and the Spoken Word and it is also available on youtube.com for you to enjoy.

On a quiet misty morning
When the moon has gone to bed,
When the sparrows stop their singing
And the sky is clear and red,

When the summer's ceased its gleaming
When the corn is past its prime,
When adventure's lost its meaning -
I'll be homeward bound in time

Bind me not to the pasture
Chain me not to the plow
Set me free to find my calling
And I'll return to you somehow

If you find it's me you're missing
If you're hoping I'll return,
To your thoughts I'll soon be listening,
And in the road I'll stop and turn

Then the wind will set me racing
As my journey nears its end
And the path I'll be retracing
When I'm homeward bound again

Bind me not to the pasture
Chain me not to the plow
Set me free to find my calling
And I'll return to you somehow

(softly)
On a quiet misty morning
When the moon has gone to bed,
When the sparrows stop their singing
I'll be homeward bound again.

That last line is a wonderful thought to me. "I'll be homeward bound again." The journey is always a joy the turn homeward is joyous for me. 

That is it for now. Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good." Steven Wright

Yesterday was the anniversary of Mom's death. I know that many of you can relate to what I experienced throughout the day. Overall I would say that it was a good day.

As I was headed out the door to a church meeting in Delta, Colorado yesterday Cindy asked if I planned to go to the cemetery. I had not even considered the possibility. Since the previous evening I had pondered calling my Aunt (moms sister) to see how she was doing and to offer whatever comfort I could. I just had not made any definite plans for the day. While driving toward Delta I decided that I would attend my meetings for the morning and then drive on to Grand Junction and make a stop at Veterans Memorial Cemetery, then stop by my Aunt and Uncle's home to see how they are getting along, and then on the way home I would stop by the home of a friend who lost his father earlier last week. The plan was made.

It was a very good day in church with a lot of good fellowship and several very good messages shared in the leadership meetings prior to sacrament meeting. Followed by a couple of great messages in sacrament meeting. I then headed out to follow my plan.



I sat on the bench just in front of the niche marker and thought about all of the things that happened over the past year that she missed. All have been written about in previous posts though I will briefly mention some of the most notable. The birth of another great grand-daughter, the marriage of a grand-daughter, a graduation, and many others came to mind as I was sitting there. I stood after a time to enjoy the view of Colorado National Monument. Mom always thought the placement of Dad's remains was so appropriate since he had spent much of his youth living there. I wonder at the things that run through my mind in moments like this.

I left the cemetery and drove to my next destination where I was greeted warmly. My aunt had clearly had a difficult day but she was pleased that I stopped by for a visit. They were glad I had already stopped by the niche and asked about my family and how we are all doing. We talked some about the feelings and emotions of the previous evening and of the events of the same a year ago. It was good to spend the time with them.

The last stop on my journey was as uneventful and just as meaningful as the first two. I think it good to provide comfort and show concern for someone with whom you have shared similar experience. Grief manifests itself in many sundry ways and we each react according to our own belief and understanding. The comfort of friends, I think, is universal.

My brother posted on his Facebook wall yesterday of missing her in his life and of reaching for his phone from time to time with the thought of something he wanted to share with her. Followed by the abrupt realization that that was not a possibility. I too have those moments. Family members become such an important part of life that the reality of them not being available is difficult to always remember. Our daily interactions become almost automatic thus making them hard to do without.

She is missed.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" (Dr. Seuss - Theodor Geisel)

I love that quote from Theodor Geisel.

Even with several very low lows in 2013 I can take a few minutes to look back and smile at many things that occurred during the year. I have long suspected that one of the quirks of my personality that can be frustrating to Mrs. Mahan is that I do not spend a lot of time thinking about or dwelling upon the things that happened yesterday or last week. I try to quickly learn what I can from the day or week and move on to the next.

Some of the things that brought a smile to my face last year include a loss, a wedding, a graduation, a vacation, another wedding, and another granddaughter (number 7).

How in the world can the loss of my Mother (Betty Irene Mahan) bring a smile to my face? It is simple really - she lived for almost seven years without the love of her life (Dennis) and looked forward to the day when they could be reunited. That day came on January 12, 2013 very early in the morning. Yes, there were tears and sad moments associated with this loss. Yes, each holiday or event throughout the year brought a moment or two of missing her. Overall, though, I find a small smile on my face when I think of that reunion. One of our daughters (Lisa) wrote this on her blog shortly after Mom passed;

"In the summer of 2006, a few months after Gramps had passed away and my parents made the courageous decision to leave their home of 20+ years and move closer to their parents, I got to go for a drive alone with Gram after we had helped move my parents (and Kelli) into their new home. We chatted about lots of things, but the conversation turned quickly to relationships and finding the right person to spend eternity with. Gram's advice was to find someone who could make your knees go weak even after 50 years. She told me that with Gramps, sometimes when they were out and about he would catch her eye from across the room and wink at her. And my 67 year old Gram told me with her hand fluttering over her heart like a teenager that she would just turn a bit red and say, Oh, Dennis!

Gram had two of her sons, their spouses or loved ones, and all the Mahan grand kids to love and care for even without my Gramps, but we've all known that she would never be truly happy again until she was reunited with Gramps."

I smile and agree!

Our youngest was married in June of 2013. What a joyous occasion that was for our family. This was the only time we were all together during the year.

We had a great few days to renew our acquaintance and celebrate together. What a blessed few days. My sweet wife blogged about this with her year end post as follows:

"For the Mahans, the highlight of 2013 was Kelli's wedding.  On June 28, in the Mount Timpanogos temple in Utah, she married her best friend, Tyler Esplin.  Of course we were thrilled for them both, and just as thrilled for the opportunity to have everyone together.  As you can see, we are becoming quite the crowd.  These are the people that mean more to me than anything in this world."

I smile and agree!

Kelli (our youngest) graduated from Colorado Mesa University in December. Another smile. Cindy included this on her blog;

"...she graduated Magna Cum Laude with a degree in Elementary Education, Math emphasis.  The icing on the cake---she has been hired at New Emerson Elementary, where she did her student teaching, as the 5th grade Math teacher!  The 5th grade teachers job share, so it's a part-time position, but what a blessing!  Especially for a new college grad halfway through the school year!  She loves the school already..."

I smile, and agree!

Each year for the last 15, or so, we have taken as many of our family who are available to Mesa Lakes Resort or Powderhorn Resort on Grand Mesa over Labor Day weekend. This year we were few in number because of all the other events that involved family members through the summer months. It was a quiet relaxing weekend for me which allowed some much needed decompression and introspection. There may be prettier places on earth, but this one we have shared as a family through trial and joy.

The view from the top.

Our oldest (Jennifer) shared this comment on her blog;

"This year, at least a small some of us were able to make the trip for our usual weekend. It was a small group. Really small, but it was so good to get away. As usual, turning into the long drive leading up to the condos, my jaw loosened, my grip became less white knuckle, and I am pretty sure my heartbeat evened and slowed a bit. I love this place. More importantly, I love the people with whom I share this place."

I smile and agree!

When our son (Adam) was at the Language Training Center in Monterey, CA while serving in the Marine Corps he met another Marine named Matt Thorne. They became good friends. Matt became an honorary member of the Mahan gang and his wedding this summer was quite the event. Holly wrote about it in her blog:

"When my brother was in the Marines he met a man named Matt. He brought him to Powderhorn to meet us and he joined our family. Matt got married in New Jersey in August, so Eric, Mom, Adam, and I were able to attend. It was a great excuse to make a trip to NYC."

"The wedding festivities were everything I hoped they would be. We got to sit and listen to Matt tell the many adventures of his dad, the bear whisperer and other stories. The wedding was a fusion of Jewish and Christian tradition. I am grateful to the bride and groom for letting us be part of their day."

I smile and agree! (There are photos - I cannot locate any to post here).

Much has been shared about Mara Mahan Guzman so I will just comment that we are so fortunate to have all these beautiful, healthy granddaughters. Including this newest addition.

 Many other events transpired in 2013 and I am looking forward to another fantastic year filled with joys, sorrows, and many in-betweens. 

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.