"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." George Burns

In the early hours of the morning I sometimes wonder why in the heck I am awake. In the same moment I often realize that I am awake because I ache from the top of my head all the way to my ankles. I can't remember being in an accident, or falling while snowboarding (I don't snowboard), or being in some other physical altercation, but I sure do feel like it. Then the realization hits that in order for me to get some relief from the ache I will need to get out of bed, lumber to the medicine cabinet stopping on the way for some bladder relief... .and I don't think I have the strength to do any of it. So I lay there eyes closed and wide awake trying to decide if it's worth it to make the attempt. I promise myself that if I am awake five minutes from now I'll get up and go do something about it. And so five minutes later I roll out of bed stalk out to the kitchen to take some over the counter pain relief, having paused along the way to take care of that other need, pour myself a tall glass of cool water (having voided the bladder I now need to refill it) and sit down at the kitchen table to read something for a few minutes to see if I can become drowsy again.

They tell me this is a part of getting older. I don't like it at all. 

I went for my annual physical this past week and found out that I am as healthy as I can be for having all the maladies that I have. All are managed well... . save 1. Still packing too much weight on this five foot eleven inch frame. So it begins again for me - starting the process of trying to lose some of this excess baggage around my middle. I spoke with my physician about what limitations I have and so I will begin to push a little. This is a strange place to be for someone who still thinks he is in his twenties. I look in the mirror every morning and wonder who that old man is standing in front of me. I wait impatiently for him to get out of the way so I can shave and get my day started. He eventually steps up to the sink and gets it all done in a slow methodical fashion and finally I can get in there and get ready myself. He steps out of the way and I'm done.

Well this year I am starting early. Getting ready for the Mike the Headless Chicken Festival 5k fun run/walk. Last year I finished in just under an hour. This year I hope to finish in the middle forties. Training for the event will begin in earnest now that we are through the worst of winter. I am looking forward to finding where my limitations begin and trying to push beyond them. Oh don't worry, it isn't my intent to do myself any harm but I have learned that pushing a little past the beginning of discomfort eventually makes it easier and moves that line a little farther away. 

I suppose in many ways I am getting old. This body is anyway. My mind and spirit, on the other hand, constantly remind me that I don't have to get old in my attitude. It will have to be the mind and spirit that pull the body forward to a new healthy. The body in and of itself doesn't have what it takes to push limits anymore. Mr. Burns was right "You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."

Oh, back to the beginning. Often I find that as I read my mind and spirit settle down my heart rate slows and that readiness for slumber does return. Nearly always one of the books I find on the kitchen table that brings me back to a place where I can relax is my Bible. Not because it bores me. Quite the contrary, but it does bring me that peace of mind that makes me realize that the ache I felt all along wasn't necessarily my aging body - but the desire, the hunger, the thirst for something greater. As I finish reading I offer a silent prayer of thanksgiving for those records that have been preserved over the generations so we (you and I) can feel that peace.

That's all for now. Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Random thoughts from the mind that never sleeps II.

"A well spent day brings happy sleep" (Leonardo daVinci)

I have experienced this and find it to be true. When I have the most productive day, whether mental or physical, I get the best sleep. The problem I have is that I only sleep well for a few hours and then end up in that never-land between good sleep and nearly awake - for the rest of the night. What is it that causes this to happen? I wish someone would tell me. It is not the kind of sleep that I prefer. I like waking up refreshed and raring to go in the morning. The energy that springs from an awake mind is something missing in my life and much desired.

"How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?" (Dr. Seuss).

It seems as if each time a conversation is had with family member or friend a comment is made about the fact that it is already first November then December. Where in the heck did this year go? Before we know it January will be knocking on the door (started this one a while ago - January is here). I'm not really complaining its entirely possible that this mind could drive me crazy if time moved any slower. The nights are long enough without the days dragging by as well.

Are you getting the idea that I am looking for reasons to be curmudgeonly today? Well enough of that silly nonsense.

Cindy recently rode the train from Provo, Utah to Grand Junction. Something she says she has always wanted to do. She also says she enjoyed the trip and will possibly do it again. I've ridden a train before and will not voluntarily do so again. Sure I was a small boy and not really interested in being confined to a seat for the duration of the journey. It took forever to get from Glenwood Springs to Grand Junction (at least to a young boy) and I have not forgotten that fact.

I'm sitting here near the end of a quietly productive day contemplating what to do tonight upon my arrival home. I suspect nourishment will be on the immediate agenda. I recently began reading the new Jack Ryan novel (Tom Clancy - RIP and Mark Greaney) and could put in a few hours reading and considering. It is also possible that I may just sit and view a movie or watch a little television with Cindy. Some might think that time would be spent preparing for meetings at Church tomorrow - that work has already been done. We will see.

With all the variety of activities available to us in this lifetime I sometimes wonder how the days end up being the same. Monday we do this, Tuesday this, etc... and it seems to run on and on with not much change. I do love the familiar but it seems to be taken to the extreme as I ponder the week past.

The year has ended and I have spent some time thinking about goals for the coming months. Nothing set just yet. I don't share those typically here but may do so this year. I may need the supporting comments of friends and family as I attempt to improve our situation. Again, we will see. Either way the plan will be made by the end of the coming week.

You were warned in the title. Random thoughts.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.