Tuesday, March 1, 2016

"... but now it is so much more." James L. Slaughter

5 years ago March 1st I had Coronary Artery Bypass Surgery (CABG). Dr. Sara Pereira and her team at St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction Colorado did an outstanding job getting me through that difficult few days. I am fortunate that I did not have a heart attack just chest pain that when discussed with my family physician led to some testing and imaging that ended up with the above mentioned treatment. According to my cardiologist I was a ticking time bomb with one blockage that appeared to be over 90% and 3 others that were approximately 60-70%. The result could easily have been very different if I had not talked to my doctor about the occasional pain I had experienced. I encourage any reading this who have angina or other chest pain to talk about it with their family physician.

I count this date (March 1, 2011) as a life changer for me.

During the lead up to the procedure and the month following I had some time to consider many aspects of my life and the lives of my family members. We all have had difficulties that have made us into the people we are today. If you will indulge me I will share a little of our lives and times here today.

My sweetheart and I married young (19) and began our family within the next year. So not only did we have the self inflicted problems of youth we also had to learn how to care for a baby girl who changed the dynamic in our home in very positive ways - yet brought challenges that I'm not sure how we ever got through. We managed with the loving help of family and friends. As a dad to a small child I was terrified most of the time. The challenges came frequently over the ensuing years - 5 more children arrived and by the time we were in our very early thirties our family was complete. We survived job loss, underemployment, physical ailments, and even an occasional faltering of our faith. The one constant for me was the strength of a good woman who made me feel as though all the hard work would be rewarded.

It has been.

Not always in ways I expected.

My reflections this year have been on the trials that our children now face in their adult lives. One of our daughters began her married life with her husband being diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma - a cancer that is often deadly but very treatable. I think that was the longest 18 to 24 months of their lives (and ours). Very hard as a parent to watch the physical, emotional, and spiritual struggle of a young couple who wonder what new challenge each day or each new round of treatment brings. I am a man and a father - I want to fix things, and provide comfort. Not, just sit idly by knowing that I can do nothing beyond love, support, and pray.

Another daughter had to live as a single Mom for 4 years because of poor choices made by her husband that got him caught up in the legal system of two States. He is a good man who started down a wrong road years ago and, apparently, needed a stern wake up call to change. Forgiveness in her heart was hard in the beginning. It came easier when she understood a little better about addiction. I am still trying to figure out how to forgive completely.

When my sweetheart and I embarked upon this journey, nearly 37 years ago now, I don't think either of us had any idea of the twists and turns life would take. The same applies to all our children who are at some point on the same journey. I have learned that it is through our struggles that we learn to lean on one another. I look back on my 56+ years and can see where the love we began with at 19 has blossomed into something more precious and deep. Not only are we more in love than ever but we are truly friends.

"I was in love when we first got married--no doubt about that--but now it is so much more. True love and friendship have blossomed through all the struggles we have been through together. I hate to think where we would be had we quit on each other." (James L. Slaughter)

I do reflect upon all these events and many others this time of year. I marvel at the medical knowledge and technology that is available today. I will be grateful to all the medical staff who worked on and cared for me 5 years ago for the rest of my life.

As I read back through this post it seems a little mawkish but that may be the kind of man I am as well.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.