The victim of my own ego!

As mentioned a few posts ago I fell for the rollerblading craze of the 1990's in part because I saw the ease with which my teen-aged son was able to skate around the neighborhood. If you will remember my first experience on those instruments of torture was very exciting but not quite what I had hoped for. After a few outings I had become somewhat competent at moving around the neighborhood, though never with the ease and fluid grace the teenager displayed. When I had the most fun and gained the greatest comfort on those wheels was as I was following him. When he would skate in front of me and I could attempt to mimic his technique I could do very well; the problems arose when I was on my own.

I remember one fall evening when I went out to skate around the retention pond across from our home about dusk. I was the only person on the trail that circled the pond and I was feeling pretty confident as I was gliding around on the new concrete sidewalk that had been poured earlier in the summer. The one thing I really did not like about going out that time of evening was the clouds of gnats that appeared and swarmed around the edge of the pond. The project to beautify the retention pond area and make it friendly for local children and families to walk and have a pleasant outdoor experience had just been completed. The sidewalk all the way around the pond, several metal and wood bridges for pedestrian traffic, freshly planted trees and shrubs, and newly planted grassy areas with some mulch to help retain the seed until it could germinate and begin to grow. This was a much needed improvement to the neighborhood and we all benefited from the work that had been done.

As I was skating that evening I noticed that some of the mulch that had been scattered had made its way up onto the sidewalk in a couple of spots (in particular around the aforementioned foot bridges) and as I approached those areas I coasted so I could keep an eye on the sidewalk without worrying about trying to watch for wheel obstructions while skating. The distance around the pond on the sidewalk was approximately nine tenths of a mile, and if I circled around six or seven times I could get my heart rate up and get a good sweat going.

I enjoyed going out that late in the evening because I knew that I would not encounter many other people. I was alone that night enjoying the few minutes it took to skate around the pond in the near darkness. Each passing lap it was a little darker and my confidence on my feet was greater. The final lap I decided I would go all out and as I passed in front of the house I picked up the pace to my maximum effort. I was flying as I rounded the first turn and crossed the first foot bridge, I never slowed for the turn to the left that would take me across the backside of the pond, and I even tried to pick up the pace as I approached the second foot bridge. I was cruising like never before as I approached and crossed the bridge. As I came off the bridge my right foot struck a large chunk of mulch with a rock in it and immediately stopped rolling. When I bought the roller-blades I was skeptical of the need for the wrist guards and knee pads that the young clerk recommended I include with my purchase, after all I had been riding bicycles and skateboards without any safety equipment (all through my younger years) and had suffered no injuries.
That night I was really glad that I had put on those guards and pads along with a pair of thick leather gloves because when I landed flat on the sidewalk I was saved from injury. The only injury was to my pride (which, as many of you know, is substantial).

I rolled over onto my back and looked up at a young boy (11 or 12 years old) who had seen the crash.
Him; "Mister are you OK?"
Me;"Yeah, I'm fine"
Him; "Do you need me to help you get up?"
Me; "No, I think I'll sleep here tonight."
Him; "Are you sure?"
Me; "Yes, I'll be OK, thanks, though."

I started to laugh a few moments later as I thought about what had just happened. I had so carefully coasted over those foot bridges just a few minutes earlier because I realized the potential danger. I only lost my focus for a few moments of enjoyment and ended up there flat on my back the unfortunate victim of my own ego. I did, eventually get up and skate home where I shared the story with those assembled in the living room.

A few months later our family was visiting our extended family in the Grand Junction, Colorado area and Adam (my son) and I brought along our roller-blades so we could skate along a stretch of the Colorado Riverfront Trail from 24 Road east to Highway 340. Once again I let him take the lead and I attempted to mimic his fluid motion by focusing on his movement in front of me. We skated out to near the highway and then turned around to skate back to the parking lot at the 24 Road/River Road intersection. No problems out or back. It felt good to be skating with my son. I was able to match his stride for much of the skate and was very pleased with my effort. As we got back to the van we skated around to the back doors and I unlocked and opened them. We both grabbed our shoes and walked to the front of the vehicle to change into them. I looked over at Adam through the open windows and said, "I think I'm starting to get the hang...." I never finished the sentence because my feet had slipped out from under me, my shoes flew straight up in the air, and I landed flat on my back. I don't think Adam stopped laughing all weekend.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Little irritations.

So earlier today while at work my boss was sitting in his office asking me questions through the window in the wall of our adjoining offices. He had a salesman in his office and was also having a conversation with him regarding a deal they were working on together. If I thought the questions were directed at me I would answer - if I thought an answer was needed. My boss (Chad) started grumbling about the lack of response when I failed to acknowledge a comment he made about an out of state tax percentage that we would need to include in a deal headed my way. He asked me if I was mad at him? or, if there was some other reason that I was not participating in the conversation he thought we were having (my wife would probably chime in here with her own examples). I explained that if I thought he needed a response I responded; otherwise, not so much. He then stood in the window and asked me why I was being so mean to him (jokingly). I replied, "Because its fun!" He laughed out loud and wondered if he would ever get used to my humor.

This conversation got me thinking about a day not too long ago that began with both Chad and me in a grumpy mood. It seemed from the beginning of the day that we were going to be dealing with one disaster after another. Customer complaints, salespeople sniping at one another. The city dropped off a notice that his tenant had not paid their water and trash bill and service would be cutoff if not paid by the end of business that day, problems in the shop, problems with the manufacturer, problems with some lenders .... not that unusual for a Monday in the car business except for the volume and duration. By lunchtime we were both ready to lock the doors and send everyone home. Of course we couldn't, but we wanted to. As the end of the day approached we finally had put most of the fires out or, at least, had a solution working that should clear up the matter in question. Needless to say, I left for home quite anxious for some respite from the turmoil and stress of the day.

I sent a text to my sweetheart (Cindy) to see if she wanted to go out to dinner that night and received a reply that that would be a wonderful idea as she was having a stressful day (something in the air?) and could use a break. Upon arrival at home we got right back into a vehicle and headed across town to have dinner. As we pulled into the restaurant parking lot I realized that my wallet was in my briefcase back at home; I kind of chuckled to myself that I had forgotten it, but, figured that Cindy would pay with our bank debit card - no problem. As we were getting out of the car I mentioned that I had forgotten to grab my wallet and would need to pay with the debit card. She looked at me with a surprised expression put her purse down on the hood and commented that she really hoped she had put her wallet back in her purse after making an online purchase. She went digging (honestly girls, how much stuff do you carry in those things?) and quickly realized that it was not there. We climbed back into the car - one of us laughing (me), and one of us grumbling about how ridiculous it was that we both forgot and what a pain it was to have to drive all the way back home just for a stupid wallet that was sitting on the kitchen table.

I am pretty sure we stopped at every light on Main Street as we headed home and fell in behind every driver who felt the need to drive well below the posted speed limit. My recollection is that the bridge construction before the turn toward home also caused us a delay. I also remember that the grumpiness emanating from the driver seat was getting pretty humorous, though the passenger dare not laugh (at least in the moment). Once a wallet had been retrieved we returned across town to the same restaurant and a fabulous meal with some good conversation and the evening was saved. Minor problems, petty irritations, uncomfortable slip ups - it all can be overcome with a change in perspective. I look back on the day and smile at the memory.

We all choose how we will react to those little (or large) irritations each day and how we react often makes our day good or ill. It is our choice. Nothing revelatory here, just commenting on recent occurrences in the slow lane.

Cindy is out of town this week. Celebrating Tessa Sadler's first birthday with family and friends in Broomfield, CO. Wishing I could be there but someone has to hold our place in line.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Talk among fathers.

As you may or may not know our youngest daughter was married a few weeks ago in the Mount Timpanogos Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was a wonderful experience for all of the family who could be there (at least from my perspective). I only mention it here again to set the scene for a conversation I had with a young father who is a cousin  to my new son-in-law. There were a lot of young children at the reception following the ceremony so I am not completely certain how many were his but I know that he has at least one daughter and she is who we spoke about during the evening festivities.

I was sitting alone at a table consuming a little nourishment about halfway through the reception. The dancing had started and I was observing the interaction between all the family and friends who had gathered for the celebration. Cindy and our children and their families were involved in their own conversations and refreshment consumption and I was able to observe the loving interaction among my family but also among the extended Esplin family who came to show support and love to the newlywed couple. It was a moment that will live in my memory for many years to come. After a few minutes I was joined by this young family as they chose to sit and relax for a few moments. Father, Mother, and (I recall) three children. The kids were starting to get tired and a bit restless so Mom got up after just a few minutes and took them on a walk around the garden to keep them distracted, and to see others of their extended family.

Their father finished the food on his plate and turned to me and asked if I was the father of the bride? I indicated that yes Kelli is my youngest daughter and the last of my children to marry. He then asked with all sincerity "how do you do it?" "I love my cousin, in fact I think he is one of the finest people I know, but, how can you as her dad, let her go?" He went on to add, "I look at my daughter and I can't imagine how you can let go and allow her to lose her innocence and begin to live life as a married woman."

I looked at him and recognized the real concern in his countenance and knew that this needed a more thoughtful answer than I might give in this setting normally. I gave him a little background about this daughter of mine who he had only met that day. He needed to understand a little about who she is and what had brought her to this point in her life. I also reminded him that I have four other daughters who had made the choice to marry and begin family life in whatever form it would take for them. I told him that my answer if he asked me this question at Stefanie's reception might have been a little different than following the fifth daughter's marriage. Though, in retrospect, probably not as different as I was thinking that evening.

I also talked with him about our family history of parents, grandparents, and great grandparents who had married once and for life. Marriage is a commitment that our family makes very thoughtfully and seriously. And finally I shared the thought with him that when his daughter reached an age and time where she would make this choice; he would find that he also was ready to accept that choice. He would have watched her and her love go through the machinations of getting there, and that would help him to realize that the decision was not random or happenstance. He was not comforted by the thought but I hope he understood that as he and his children grow together over the next decade or two he will begin to understand for himself the truth of the conversation.

Fatherhood is an opportunity for a man to grow and become someone even more worthwhile than the sum of the gifts and talents he has developed in life. Each of us, as fathers, hope for our children to have a better existence than we have. Part of the process of helping them along this better path is letting go and even encouraging them to take baby steps or giant leaps to arrive at a greater destination. That young father will learn when to let them leap as they grow up together.

That is all for now. Thanks for checking in. More to come soon.

Life can be funny sometimes!

When our children were all living at home (it seems forever ago) we, of necessity, had a large 15 passenger van. Purchased by the company I was a part of for business use with the idea that we could also use it for personal transportation. We went everywhere in that monster. Many of our children also learned to drive in that extra large vehicle and I think they benefit still today from having learned how to maneuver such a beast into and out of parking spaces that were designed for much smaller cars. I remember one time we were all coming home from an event and my Mom and Dad were riding along with us. We pulled up in front of the house and everyone started to bail out the side doors of the passenger compartment and as I walked around toward the sidewalk I noticed my Dad struggling to exit I walked over to see if he needed any help and saw him turn back to release the seat-belt which had securely ensconced him in his seat. We laughed about that for many years (Dad also).

Many of you of my vintage will remember the days when rollerblading became a craze all over the U.S.. I fell into the trap of thinking that rollerblading would be a great way to get some exercise without the stress and strain on my knees, ankles (running), or backside (bicycle). My son Adam had recently gotten a pair of roller-blades and seemed to enjoy them and he said it was a good workout. I finally went to the old Gart Brothers Sporting Goods store in downtown Denver and tried on a couple pair until I found those that gave me all the support I thought I would need and that seemed to be solid enough to carry someone of my age and girth (I was not as large as I am now nor as handsome). I brought them home and put them on to go try them out. As I walked down the hallway in the house with them on my feet Adam noticed and ran to grab his  blades to join me. My first mistake was putting them on before going outside. You wouldn't think two small steps could provide such a major obstacle but, they did. Stepping from the carpeted living room onto a concrete step quickly showed me that this would be no easy task to master. My feet were uncontrollable. I have been a fairly athletic guy throughout my life but keeping both feet moving in the same direction was nearly impossible. After landing on my bum in the front yard I quickly figured out what the stops on the front and rear of those roller-blades were for. Sure you could use them for stopping, but, you could also walk on them if you were careful.

By this time Adam had his roller-blades on and had joined me. Watching him over the preceding months it seemed as if the roller-blades were merely an extension of his feet and legs. The grace, athleticism and speed with which he skated was what lured me into the thought that I could do the same. What a foolish man I was. I walked on the front stops over to the end of the sidewalk and onto the driveway where I rolled onto the wheels and down the steeply angled drive toward the sidewalk in front of the house. Never in my life have I accelerated to 60 miles per hour in so short a space or time. I'm glad there was not any traffic on the street in front of the house at that moment because I could not have slowed or turned to save my life. You may remember the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip from the 1980's and 1990's. In one strip I recall that Calvin is skating down the hill in his neighborhood unable to stop and he yells to Hobbes asking his advice. Hobbes yells turn into the gravel drive at the neighbors house. In the last frame you see a mangled and bruised Calvin walking back up the hill with Hobbes commenting that he did not say it was the best way to stop.

I did not have time to yell and the stops on the roller-blades did not seem to be working - so I fell onto the asphalt (also not the best idea) to come to a stop. I was not as mangled as Calvin seemed to be, though the bruises lasted for about a week. Adam rolled over and helped me get up, then helped me back up onto the sidewalk, then gave me some instruction on how to skate, stop, and turn. After 15 minutes or so I had had enough for one day and headed back inside.

I'm sure that my wife and children all had a good laugh over the next few weeks as I attempted to learn how to propel myself around the lake across the street from our home. I did eventually figure out how and spent many evenings skating around the lake for fun and exercise. There are many more funny stories associated with this adventure in rollerblading. I will probably share a few of them in an upcoming post.

Oh, I began with the seat-belt incident and then detoured to the roller-blades. I was reminded of the seat-belt incident recently when I had a similar problem. I had driven to work one morning recently and, in a bit of a hurry, upon arrival parked on the lot grabbed my briefcase and started to slide out the driver side door but got stuck about halfway. I scooted and scooted but seemed to be hung up on something. I looked down and realized that the shoulder strap of the seat-belt was still across my chest. I laughed and laughed - slid back into the vehicle and released the clasp.

Sorry kids, this one may be hereditary.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon.