Life can be funny sometimes!

When our children were all living at home (it seems forever ago) we, of necessity, had a large 15 passenger van. Purchased by the company I was a part of for business use with the idea that we could also use it for personal transportation. We went everywhere in that monster. Many of our children also learned to drive in that extra large vehicle and I think they benefit still today from having learned how to maneuver such a beast into and out of parking spaces that were designed for much smaller cars. I remember one time we were all coming home from an event and my Mom and Dad were riding along with us. We pulled up in front of the house and everyone started to bail out the side doors of the passenger compartment and as I walked around toward the sidewalk I noticed my Dad struggling to exit I walked over to see if he needed any help and saw him turn back to release the seat-belt which had securely ensconced him in his seat. We laughed about that for many years (Dad also).

Many of you of my vintage will remember the days when rollerblading became a craze all over the U.S.. I fell into the trap of thinking that rollerblading would be a great way to get some exercise without the stress and strain on my knees, ankles (running), or backside (bicycle). My son Adam had recently gotten a pair of roller-blades and seemed to enjoy them and he said it was a good workout. I finally went to the old Gart Brothers Sporting Goods store in downtown Denver and tried on a couple pair until I found those that gave me all the support I thought I would need and that seemed to be solid enough to carry someone of my age and girth (I was not as large as I am now nor as handsome). I brought them home and put them on to go try them out. As I walked down the hallway in the house with them on my feet Adam noticed and ran to grab his  blades to join me. My first mistake was putting them on before going outside. You wouldn't think two small steps could provide such a major obstacle but, they did. Stepping from the carpeted living room onto a concrete step quickly showed me that this would be no easy task to master. My feet were uncontrollable. I have been a fairly athletic guy throughout my life but keeping both feet moving in the same direction was nearly impossible. After landing on my bum in the front yard I quickly figured out what the stops on the front and rear of those roller-blades were for. Sure you could use them for stopping, but, you could also walk on them if you were careful.

By this time Adam had his roller-blades on and had joined me. Watching him over the preceding months it seemed as if the roller-blades were merely an extension of his feet and legs. The grace, athleticism and speed with which he skated was what lured me into the thought that I could do the same. What a foolish man I was. I walked on the front stops over to the end of the sidewalk and onto the driveway where I rolled onto the wheels and down the steeply angled drive toward the sidewalk in front of the house. Never in my life have I accelerated to 60 miles per hour in so short a space or time. I'm glad there was not any traffic on the street in front of the house at that moment because I could not have slowed or turned to save my life. You may remember the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip from the 1980's and 1990's. In one strip I recall that Calvin is skating down the hill in his neighborhood unable to stop and he yells to Hobbes asking his advice. Hobbes yells turn into the gravel drive at the neighbors house. In the last frame you see a mangled and bruised Calvin walking back up the hill with Hobbes commenting that he did not say it was the best way to stop.

I did not have time to yell and the stops on the roller-blades did not seem to be working - so I fell onto the asphalt (also not the best idea) to come to a stop. I was not as mangled as Calvin seemed to be, though the bruises lasted for about a week. Adam rolled over and helped me get up, then helped me back up onto the sidewalk, then gave me some instruction on how to skate, stop, and turn. After 15 minutes or so I had had enough for one day and headed back inside.

I'm sure that my wife and children all had a good laugh over the next few weeks as I attempted to learn how to propel myself around the lake across the street from our home. I did eventually figure out how and spent many evenings skating around the lake for fun and exercise. There are many more funny stories associated with this adventure in rollerblading. I will probably share a few of them in an upcoming post.

Oh, I began with the seat-belt incident and then detoured to the roller-blades. I was reminded of the seat-belt incident recently when I had a similar problem. I had driven to work one morning recently and, in a bit of a hurry, upon arrival parked on the lot grabbed my briefcase and started to slide out the driver side door but got stuck about halfway. I scooted and scooted but seemed to be hung up on something. I looked down and realized that the shoulder strap of the seat-belt was still across my chest. I laughed and laughed - slid back into the vehicle and released the clasp.

Sorry kids, this one may be hereditary.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon.