"Heaven give you many, many merry days." William Shakespeare

It has been almost two weeks since I posted here. Partly because life in the slow lane is at times more quick moving than I care to handle, and partly because I could not settle on a topic that I might address on this page. My stated purpose with this blog is to inform friends and family of events and happenings in life - both current and retrospective. Today will be more current oriented, I think.

Our youngest child (Kelli) will be married this Friday the 28th of June to a terrific, faithful, faith-filled man (Tyler Esplin) whom she fell for years ago ("we're just friends Dad") even if neither of them would admit to it. She had a goal to get through College and he desired to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints before even considering seriously being more than friends. Kelli has completed all her classroom work at Colorado Mesa University with a semester of student teaching ahead of her this fall and Tyler returned from the Houston Texas Mission about a year and a half ago. They have spent this time learning more about each other and about life and have arrived at this day still friends. I am pleased for them and wish them the best.

Because I am the Dad I will take the opportunity to share here some of my thoughts and feelings regarding the marriage relationship and what I believe it ought to be (at least some of my ideas).
In 1 Corinthians 13:13 it says; "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." in context charity is understood to mean love. When Tyler sat with me to tell me that he and Kelli were talking seriously about getting married he wanted me to understand that he loves her, and I am sure that he does. I also have watched them together and I observe that the feelings are mutual. I will tell them that what they feel now is a great place to begin - but the feelings that they will have 10, or 20, or 50 years from now will mean so much more and run so much deeper than they can understand today.
Shared experience, shared goals, trials experienced, and those quiet moments when it seems that their world may be falling all around them will deepen and strengthen their bond. They will be in this together and as long as they keep that thought in mind theirs is a marriage that will survive and thrive.

Tyler asked me that afternoon if there is anything I required of him. At that moment I had not had time to consider the question thoroughly (only her whole life) so I was not very forthcoming with wise words or specific advice (and I would add after 5 older children have married it has all been said). Today, a number of months later, I have had time to think about what I wish for them so I will share some of that now.
One of the leading Elders of our Church taught the following in a talk he gave during April 2013 General Conference, "I have observed that in the happiest marriages both the husband and the wife consider their relationship to be a pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth. They both leave fathers and mothers and set out together to build a marriage that will prosper for eternity. They understand that they walk a divinely ordained path. They know that no other relationship of any kind can bring as much joy, generate as much good, or produce as much personal refinement. ... the best marriage partners regard their marriages as priceless." (Elder L Whitney Clayton).

The specific list of advice is short.

1.)   Love God.
2.)   Love her more than anything or anyone else (except God).
3.)   Pray together every day.
4.)   Make time to share in the scriptures each day.
5.)   Listen before reacting.
6.)   Never stop courting her.
7.)   Learn patience.
8.)   Hold your tongue (see #5 above).
9.)   Share your hopes and dreams with each other.
10.) Keep the relationship preeminent every day.

No great wisdom here just some practical advice that will keep you both aiming at the same end result.

"When you make a sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship." (Joseph Campbell)

Cindy and I have made an effort to do these things in our relationship (sometimes with more success sometimes with less) and can vouch for their efficacy.

A simple list, given in love. You will learn that there is so much more to making it work. It is worth the effort.

More to come soon. Thanks for checking in.