"I like to reminisce with people I don't know." Steven Wright

I recently had the opportunity to spend time with a family that just suffered the loss of a loved one. The first opportunity for me to have this responsibility since being called to serve as Bishop of the Mount Sneffels Ward here in Montrose, CO. When I took that phone call from some of the missionaries assigned to serve in our area a flood of memories came rushing in. Dad died in 2006 and Mom in 2012 and many of the feelings I had during those events came to mind as I began to help this family plan to say goodbye to their loved one. I met with the family mid-day on the Saturday following their loss. I had not met any of them before that moment. You might think that would make this easier but, for me at least, it did not. There are questions that have to be asked. With clear answers not necessarily easily found.

While not having personal grief to deal with in this situation, having had my own experience in dealing with those feelings certainly helped me to notice those tender moments when an arm around the shoulder or a full on embrace was needed. In a circumstance like this when death came unexpectedly and suddenly it seems that it is very hard on everyone. No time to prepare, no time to say goodbye. Even when someone is in below average health we seem to believe that that moment is some time in the future. Sitting with the family in that first meeting on Saturday I realized how true the statement that a parent should never have to bury or grieve over the death of a child. Still applies even when the parents are in their 80's and the child is in his 60's.

There were a lot of friends and family who attended the service at the church. This fact seemed to bring some comfort to the family members. The service was filled with a comfortable, sweet spirit that touched the heart of many. The graveside moment was also well attended. His father dedicated the grave-site in a humble prayer of faith. I had much to consider as I drove home from Ridgway that afternoon. And much to be grateful for.

Kind of a downer today. I apologize for that only a little. These are things we all need to consider and plan for - better now than in a moment of distress and grief. I'm not telling you to rush out and make all your arrangements (that would be up to you). I am suggesting that it might be a good idea to at least have some conversations and write some of those thoughts down so you don't have several people remembering things differently and disagreeing about what should be done. Grief is hard enough without adding disagreement over the wishes of a loved one.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.