Oatmeal, mouth wash, fiber, ....

Sitting below my computer monitor in my office at work is a sticky note pad with the beginning of a list of things I would like to pick up from the store on my way home this evening. This list was started this morning almost as soon as I arrived at work and sat down. It is my strong desire to take this list with me when I head out the door in a few hours. There is a very good possibility that when I return to this office Monday morning the list will still be affixed to the sticky note pad sitting in the same spot on the desk right below the computer monitor. Not because I don't want to have the reminder in hand when I walk into the store. No. I realize that without the list in hand I will forget something and will consequently need to make a second trip later or just do without for another day.

My wife and I stopped at this same store last night following a nice dinner at a local eatery because I needed to pick up a prescription that has been ready for a day or two (I didn't forget just didn't need until last night). We sat in the parking lot (finishing off a couple small DQ ice cream cones) and I tried to remember the few additional items I should purchase while there. Total blank. I did remember some of it after returning to the car as we were leaving the parking lot. Nothing important enough to park and return to the store before tonight, hence the list. I realize that the unimportance of the items on the list is a likely cause of the memory issue but I also know that there are times when important items elude me. Heck there are days when I am distracted enough by life that I can walk into a store with a list and leave without everything intended.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, "If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month." I recognize that I am the creator of all that ails (fails?) me. "My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." (Mitch Hedburg). What a pain in the back-side a faulty memory can be, or faulty choices can be.

I know people who are the master of all they survey. Many of them have assistants, secretaries, and employees to help them maintain the illusion. That is all it is - illusion. In employment if there were no customers, or managers to remind us we would easily turn from our intended path. Not maliciously, mind you, it is just so dang easy to succumb to those distractions that crop up in our everyday. For the last 15-20 years I have intended to spend a few minutes daily or weekly writing a note in a journal. Have I done so? No. Have I thought of it? Of course. The transition from thinking to doing has been a bit of a stumbling block. I explained to my sweetheart a few  years ago that I would like to attempt writing some short stories or a book. I kind of feel like Steven Wright who quipped, "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." only I don't even have that.

My problem is that the pattern I have adopted for each day never changes and has become very comfortable. When good things that should be done arise it is difficult to adjust. It is just too easy to leave things undone. I like that television program, I want to go to bed at an early hour, I worked hard all day and deserve some time to vegetate, and the list of excuses goes on and on. Give me a specific task to get done and let me do it between the hours of 5:00 am and 7:00 pm and it will get done but don't infringe on those sacred hours outside that time frame or there will be a fight. An attitude I suspect my current church service is, partly, designed to change. And it has on a limited basis. I should probably just surrender my attitude to the reality that much good could come about for me and those closest to me if only that mould (not sure why I prefer the British spelling) could be broken.

A decision has been made. My effort will be increased. Somehow, someway, I'll create the energy and the resolve to break out of these destructive patterns. I think the first thing to fall should be that journal. I will begin today. Since it seems important there will be future updates as to how it is going. It feels like it will need to be a daily event or it won't happen.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.