Family life.

"In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future." (Alex Haley)

Recently the members of my family have been heavy on my heart for many varied reasons. Each of our children and their families have had the struggles and joys that come as they begin the adventure that is family life. I have again been reminded of a quote from November 28, 2012 The New York Times by Susan Engel, "When I was 24 years old, I brought my firstborn son, 3-week-old Jacob, to my childhood home on the Eastern End of Long Island to meet his grand parents. When I arrived, an old family friend and neighbor, Cora Stevens, happened to be sitting in my parents' kitchen. Cora, a mother to five grown children and grandmother to seven, grabbed my tiny Jake, put her face right up to his and started speaking loud baby talk to him. Then, as she bounced him on her knee, she turned to me and said, 'When they're little they sit on your lap; when they're big they sit on your heart.'"

I have known this to be true for some time, as have many of you. When they are growing the things that hurt or injure can usually be overcome with kind and loving thoughts and expressions. Physical wounds heal. Emotional hurts require a little more time, love, and patience; and they too, heal. It is when, as a parent to grown children, injury or hurt lingers for weeks, months, or even years (in some cases) that the weight on your (my) heart becomes very heavy indeed. We can no longer just put a band aid on it give the hurt a kiss and make it better. And as much as we might wish it to be so easy it really should not be.

They will experience many trials and difficulties just like we did with them, and this is only right. We all gain strength and understanding from those struggles. Thank goodness we can choose to smile and even laugh during those moments. And our children learn to do the same.

Ralph Fiennes is quoted as saying, "One of the things that binds us as a family is a shared sense of humor" and I heartily endorse that thought. I recall a day in the Mahan household, probably a Sunday, when there was a lot of bickering occurring in the house. There had been a lesson in church recently regarding the spirit of contention and how we should try to avoid letting little irritations become contentious at home. I remember listening to one after another of the children sniping and arguing with one another in the various corners of the house. One of our middle daughters (Holly) was sitting on the couch in the living room listening to all the chattering of her siblings and she very loudly said, "I think the spirit of contention is sitting on the couch laughing at us!" Cindy and I both started to laugh and very soon all the family was chuckling or smiling or laughing at the foolishness that had led to that moment. That laughter changed the mood of the day and as I reviewed the incident with Cindy, Lisa, and Holly I could hear the smile in their voices some 20 years after the fact.

Our children (I don't think I've established birth order here, so will do so now) Jennifer, Adam, Stefanie, Holly, Lisa, and Kelli have brought many smiles to many faces over the years. I learned from each. When they were small the time spent and activities shared always changed my outlook on whatever was happening in my life. I am now watching them learn the same lessons as they interact with their own as well as nieces and nephews (only nieces from ours but many nephews in extended family). "Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back" (John Ruskin).

I remember a day when Adam and I had gone home together for lunch. He worked near my place of employment and had walked over to see what my plans were for lunch that day and we decided to go home and have something there. I had recently received a Bill Engvall CD from my brother (Mitch) and we popped it into the CD player in the vehicle we were riding in as we headed back to work. As we drove across town on 136th Ave. we got to laughing so hard that I had to pull the truck over until we could stop. What a funny man and a great shared experience with that son of mine. We may not always see eye to eye, but we always laugh at things that are funny.

Kind of a rambling post here today. I'll try and do better next time. Thanks for checking in.