Movement. Balance. Growth.

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." (Albert Einstein)

I remember a Monday when I arrived at work following a major snow storm in the Denver, CO area. It was cold and I was loving life. Cold weather has always been a favorite of mine so I was feeling pretty good that morning. One of our customers came into the dealership mid-morning and informed us that the car we had let him take over the weekend had been totaled. We had seen that car on a flatbed tow truck just a few moments before he walked in but had not yet connected the dots. My good day very quickly deflated. Of course we were concerned about the driver and any others that may have been involved in the accident. he was fine and only one vehicle was involved in this accident. I don't remember all the details as it was quite awhile ago. I do know that there was a crash into a wall and then the car rolled several times down the highway. Modern vehicles are really amazing. So much damage to the exterior but only minor bruising and scrapes to the driver.

I had a conversation with my boss later the next day about the incident. There were many things we had done wrong with regard to a loaned car (paperwork) so the dealership and our insurance would be on the hook rather than the customer and his insurance company. We (my team and I) received a major chewing out later that day. I accepted full responsibility for the snafu with our paperwork and was fully prepared for whatever consequence followed. There were none, other than the yelling and cursing. My boss and I had a conversation a few days later where he did tell me that he was fully prepared to release me from employment with the company until he spoke with his boss (the owner) who said simply, "Did he (me) learn anything from this?" to which my boss replied, "yes", and then the owner replied, "Then we are done with the incident - if we and our employees are not learning from what happens here every day, then we have a problem and changes need to be made. We will pay the deductible, the insurance company will pay off the car, and we all move forward."

I have been grateful for the understanding of a seasoned employer and for the lesson learned every time I consider what might have been.

Movement. Balance. Growth.

Our son, Adam, was given a bicycle when he was 5 or 6 years old (I think.... possibly a little older) and he really wanted to learn how to ride that bike without training wheels. We didn't take them off until late in the summer because he needed to grow physically in order to ride safely. He did grow and the day finally came when we decided to give it a try without those training wheels. We worked for several days helping him to balance and try. I remember the day when he finally understood that he had to keep moving forward or he would fall. There was one thing lacking yet - he hadn't quite caught on to the trick to maintain balance. I finally realized that he had not been given the key to balancing on a bicycle and shared it with him quickly and quietly. "Adam, when you feel the bike starting to tip to the right turn the handlebars slightly to the right, when you feel the bike starting to tip to the left turn slightly to the left." He gave me a quizzical look but I could see him thinking about it and suddenly...the light bulb turned on and he understood. Forward momentum, turn toward imbalance, and the bike will right itself. It was fun to watch him ride for the rest of the afternoon with no training wheels and no tumbles.

I hope we all understand that we grow and learn the most when we are struggling or even failing. This is a lesson I have been learning repeatedly all my life. There is a quote attributed to Robert Kennedy that says, "Only those who dare to fail can ever achieve greatly." I believe this to be true.

Oprah Winfrey once said, "Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it."

Many of us, me included, let the distractions of life (family, entertainment, working for a living) get in the way of what we really want to do. Today is the time for me (you make your own choice) to take some risk. There are things I want to do. Now is the time to begin.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Labor Day Weekend!

I overheard a conversation on a recent afternoon at work that went something like this; Voice 1, "What do we celebrate on labor day?" someone replied, "Isn't it about veterans?" "No, I think that's Memorial Day." Well then what is veterans day?" Oh, right, that's a good question." "What is Memorial day?"

For the record, I did make sure they all understood what these days off (in their minds) are about. Though I thought it would be good to share that information here.

"Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in service of the United States of America."

"Memorial Day was borne out of the Civil War and a desire to honor our dead. It was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11. “The 30th of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village and hamlet churchyard in the land,” he proclaimed. The date of Decoration Day, as he called it, was chosen because it wasn’t the anniversary of any particular battle.

On the first Decoration Day, General James Garfield made a speech at Arlington National Cemetery, and 5,000 participants decorated the graves of the 20,000 Union and Confederate soldiers buried there." (copied from usmemorialday.org)

Labor Day is about the American Laborer and has nothing to do with honoring military men and women. According to the US Dept. of Labor website;

"Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country."

Regarding Veterans Day; "An Act (52 Stat. 351; 5 U. S. Code, Sec. 87a) approved May 13, 1938, made the 11th of November in each year a legal holiday—a day to be dedicated to the cause of world peace and to be thereafter celebrated and known as "Armistice Day." Armistice Day was primarily a day set aside to honor veterans of World War I, but in 1954, after World War II had required the greatest mobilization of soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen in the Nation’s history; after American forces had fought aggression in Korea, the 83rd Congress, at the urging of the veterans service organizations, amended the Act of 1938 by striking out the word "Armistice" and inserting in its place the word "Veterans." With the approval of this legislation (Public Law 380) on June 1, 1954, November 11th became a day to honor American veterans of all wars." (copied from va.gov)

If you are a curious individual you might visit these and other websites to read up on the history of these holidays. Some of what I read is speculative because we really don't know the exact history or the specific context of what information has been preserved over the years. Even those who read this blog post who are my age of older may not remember from their history lessons all of the information pertaining to these three holidays. I recommend that we all take a moment when these holidays approach and research a little so we are reminded of the significance of each date.

I know I will. 

Moving on.

"Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it." Steven Wright

You all may have noticed a bit of disappointment surrounding the Mahan Clan not having our annual gathering on Grand Mesa this year. The time spent together on that mountain has become a cherished event in our lives since sometime in the middle 1990's. As our children have started their families it has become more difficult to pull everyone together every year. I have been excited at the prospect of being unplugged for the weekend and not worrying about work or any other life issues that arise from time to time. We are not able to gather this year but we will likely spend time communicating, celebrating, and enjoying time with family that is near."

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then. 

Random thoughts on a warm Sunday afternoon!

"Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?" Bill Watterson

In case you are not familiar with Bill Watterson  and his most famous work:

A gifted man who worked very hard at his craft, who also stayed true to his own world view. Or at least it seems so (I don't know the man only his reputation).

I read a quote from Jim Valvano recently that said, 

"If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special." 

It made me pause and think. First, do I agree with the thought? Second, if I do agree how am I doing? 

I agree. 

Most days I laugh or at least smile bemusedly, I think every day, and I cry almost never. 

Laughing and smiling come naturally to all of us, I think. Maybe I'm being too general here so let me limit that statement to my family members. The Mahan clan (and their affiliates) laugh out loud often and smile even more frequently. Sometimes through gritted teeth and difficult circumstances, but we seem to always find something amusing in all situations. I believe this is why we always have so much fun when we are together. Shared stories of struggle and growth often end with someone getting the rest to see the humor and then we can laugh and shake our heads together. Nothing may have changed except our perspective but that, temporarily is enough.

I probably over think life's troubles and struggles. I don't have the vision to say if that is good or bad. My guess is it is probably both. This family of mine can bring a quick and healthy dose of perspective - and thank goodness for them. Same as above. If I have something I am wrestling with I only need mention it to Mrs. Mahan and she helps guide my thinking and also draws into the discussion the opinions and ideas of our children. The Mahan girls network seems to always be buzzing about one thing or another that may have a deeper impact on the way I see the world than any of them realize. I am very grateful that Cindy is so tuned in to these daughters of ours, with their insight and intuitions.

As noted above I am not prone to cry without reason. So I'm not sure I completely agree with the referenced quote. It may, however, be more important than I realize. I will have to turn the Mahan girls network loose on that thought.

I have quoted Mitch Albom's "the magic strings of frankie presto" in previous posts but will do so again here. One of the daughters (Holly) recently finished reading the book and was strongly impressed with it. This led to a discussion among the family about the book and we have all been reminded of quotes and thoughts that have been generated as a result of the time spent reading, enjoying, and pondering parts of the book. 

One of the quotes that made me stop and think was this,

"Everyone joins a band in this life. And what you play always affects someone. Sometimes it affects the world." Mitch Albom - the magic strings of frankie presto

And another is,

"As life goes on, you will join other bands, some through friendship, some through romance, some through neighborhoods, school, an army. Maybe you will all dress the same, or laugh at your own private vocabulary. Maybe you will flop on couches backstage, or share a boardroom table, or crowd around a galley inside a ship. But in each band you join you will play a distinct part, and it will affect you as much as you affect it." Mitch Albom - the magic strings of frankie presto

Sometimes we (or at least I) forget that everything I do has an impact on others. That scientific principle we all learned as children is true; "for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." (Newton's Third Law). Including in daily living.

I don't often think about making changes in my attitude and approach to living but I am beginning to wonder if I should consider more carefully the possibility that a tear or two, sincerely offered, might be a good thing.

Perhaps my original band mates (Cindy, Jen, Adam, Stef, Holly, Lisa, and Kelli) can help me find joyful reasons to shed a tear.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath." (Lyndon B. Johnson)

I am sitting at home on a Saturday afternoon. It still seems very strange to me. Some of you know that I have been working in the automotive sales business for most of the past 19 years including working on nearly every Saturday. There were occasional vacation days or sick days that included Saturday but not very many. I am still involved in the car business but now with a company that provides software as a service for car dealerships. Customer Relationship Management (CRM), Inventory management, and Website services. So Saturday has become a regular day off. Even before getting into the car business I would usually work a half day on Saturday - but no longer. Very strange.

 Mrs. Mahan and I have also relocated to the Orem, Utah area where we are, for the moment, living with one of our daughters and her family. Once we find a place, that will change, of course, but we will likely be nearby. It has been very good to be near two of our daughters and their families. I have enjoyed getting to know the grandchildren who live here on a much more personal level. Cindy and I try not to get too involved in directing behavior, though it does happen once in a while. It has been very rewarding to see the interaction between the parents and their children as they seem to have figured a way to avoid some of the pitfalls that the grandparents stepped into as we raised ours.

I remember fondly the time we spent in Montrose, CO and enjoy looking in on the lives of friends and neighbors left behind through some of the social media outlets that are available today. A lot of good things happened in my life there and a lot of personal growth occurred while working and serving in the area.

Even the neurotic dog has settled in here, and seems to enjoy being part of a larger pack once again.

"Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the phone rings and you hope it isn't for you." (Ogden Nash)

Amusing quote; sadly becoming more and more true for me. Oh don't misunderstand I do enjoy an infrequent foray into the world on a Saturday evening, but don't find myself habitually attending restaurants, movies, concerts, or other entertainments on Saturday evening. I think that should be reserved for Friday night. Saturday is often the day I begin to prepare myself for the coming Sabbath. It is much easier for me to iron a white shirt and make certain that my shoes are polished on Saturday than to try and squeeze all that activity into Sunday morning - especially when meetings begin early.

I'm trying not to get preachy here but I do want to continue this thread for a few more lines and thoughts.

A favorite quote, and example from one of our church leaders may help illustrate my feelings:

"I am intrigued by the words of Isaiah, who called the Sabbath “a delight.” Yet I wonder, is the Sabbath really a delight for you and for me?

I first found delight in the Sabbath many years ago when, as a busy surgeon, I knew that the Sabbath became a day for personal healing. By the end of each week, my hands were sore from repeatedly scrubbing them with soap, water, and a bristle brush. I also needed a breather from the burden of a demanding profession. Sunday provided much-needed relief." (Elder Russell M. Nelson)

I have similar experience in my life history. Working on Sunday usually means having to work seven days straight in a week - which for me meant working twelve or more days in a row. Doable, certainly, but not the most productive use of those days. 

Anyway, It has been awhile since I posted anything here. I hope more frequently to share. 

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Sometimes you just have to laugh!

"Laughter is an instant vacation." Milton Berle

A few months ago I was visiting the home of one of our daughters. They have two children we'll call one of them Mo and the other Mara. I had driven to their family home in Orem, Utah for a short visit as I had a job interview arranged with a company nearby. Upon my arrival at their home I knocked on the door and Mo came down the stairs and unlocked the door to let me in. I followed her into the house and was standing on the landing at the bottom of the stairs as she was telling her Mother and sister who was at the door. She stepped back around the corner from the kitchen, looked at me and said, "Why didn't you bring Grandma?" This story makes me smile every time I think of it. It made me smile that afternoon as well. And her Mom chuckled as she invited me to join them in the kitchen.

I don't often spend time around my grandchildren without Grandma along for the ride.

Victor Borge is quoted as saying, "Laughter is the closest distance between two people."

He makes a good point.

Later that same day I had returned to their home from the interview and was sitting at the kitchen counter with Mara next to me when our daughter said that she needed to run to the store to get a few things and wondered if we all wanted to ride along? Mara immediately said "No! I will stay here with granddad." Lisa asked Mara if she was sure about that. Mara replied that yes, she would stay home with granddad. Lisa looked at me and I said sure we can stay here just the two of us. Lisa continued to prepare to go to the store. Alex arrived home just a minute or two later and joined us in the kitchen. He was warmly received by his family and we had a brief conversation about the plan for the evening. Lisa then mentioned that she and Mo had to make a quick trip to the store. and Mara immediately said, "Dad you go to the store! I'm staying home with granddad."

We were all amused. They went to the store and Mara and granddad stayed home. We laughed together, we colored, and finally we read a book together. A connection made between her old granddad and her three year old self.

Fast forward to last weekend. The Guzman family (Alex, Lisa, Monroe, and Mara) decided to make a visit to Montrose. They arrived Friday evening and settled in fairly quickly. Those granddaughters played for an hour or so before retiring to bed. The feeling in the house changed immediately upon their arrival. The laughter and energy of young children is joyful. I had not known that they were coming to visit until just a few hours prior to arrival but so glad they came.

Saturday afternoon Mara was running from the play area that Grandma has arranged for them, heading toward the bedroom where their things were kept. She was intent on her destination and I had just walked out of the kitchen and saw her running. I paused until she was almost at the turn to the hallway. I squatted and gave a little rrraarr at her.... and, without missing a step, she leaped into the air, her legs churning (think Wiley Coyote) landed back on the floor and continued down the hallway. No squeal, no shriek, no slowing down. Lisa saw this and laughed out loud (so did I).

Our grandchildren learn humor from their parents just like those parents learned from Cindy (grandma) and me.

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh." (W.H. Auden)

No grand thought here today. Just hadn't posted anything in quite some time.

More to come soon. Thanks for checking in. See you then!

The Mahan Girls blog challenge 2016! Favorite person

My wife and daughters are once again participating in a blog challenge (except the youngest who is just too busy to blog). The challenge is to write on a specified topic each day for a month (or longer - I'm not sure what they decided). One of them invited me to participate so I will, though I decided that I will cherry pick topics rather than write about each. I enjoyed reading their posts concerning who their respective favorite person is and determined that I would participate in this topic along with them.

Like them many came to mind but one stood out as a favorite for me. He is widely quoted so I think I will introduce him through a few quotes from his writing or speaking opportunities.

"We live in a world where finding fault in others seems to be the favorite blood sport. It has long been the basis of political campaign strategy. It is the theme of much television programming across the world. It sells newspapers. Whenever we meet anyone, our first almost unconscious reaction may be to look for imperfections."

"Carrying a grudge is a heavy burden. As you forgive, you will feel the joy of being forgiven."

"Our Heavenly Father Loves us. He sent His Only Begotten Son to be our Savior. He knew that in mortality we would be in grave danger, the worst of it from the temptations of a terrible adversary. That is one of the reasons why the Savior has provided priesthood keys so that those with ears to hear and faith to obey could go to places of safety."

"It is never too late to strengthen the foundation of faith. There is always time. With faith in the Savior, you can repent and plead for forgiveness.  There is someone you can forgive. There is someone you can thank. There is someone you can serve and lift. You can do it wherever you are and however alone and deserted you may feel."

These four are quotes from Henry B. Eyring. I am not sure when he became so prominent in my thinking but for at least the last few years his General Conference addresses have really touched me. I appreciate that he so often gets emotional when speaking of things that are of importance to him. He speaks a lot about family and family experiences - which are also high on my importance list. A good man who is providing a public example that I try to emulate.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"... but now it is so much more." James L. Slaughter

5 years ago March 1st I had Coronary Artery Bypass Surgery (CABG). Dr. Sara Pereira and her team at St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction Colorado did an outstanding job getting me through that difficult few days. I am fortunate that I did not have a heart attack just chest pain that when discussed with my family physician led to some testing and imaging that ended up with the above mentioned treatment. According to my cardiologist I was a ticking time bomb with one blockage that appeared to be over 90% and 3 others that were approximately 60-70%. The result could easily have been very different if I had not talked to my doctor about the occasional pain I had experienced. I encourage any reading this who have angina or other chest pain to talk about it with their family physician.

I count this date (March 1, 2011) as a life changer for me.

During the lead up to the procedure and the month following I had some time to consider many aspects of my life and the lives of my family members. We all have had difficulties that have made us into the people we are today. If you will indulge me I will share a little of our lives and times here today.

My sweetheart and I married young (19) and began our family within the next year. So not only did we have the self inflicted problems of youth we also had to learn how to care for a baby girl who changed the dynamic in our home in very positive ways - yet brought challenges that I'm not sure how we ever got through. We managed with the loving help of family and friends. As a dad to a small child I was terrified most of the time. The challenges came frequently over the ensuing years - 5 more children arrived and by the time we were in our very early thirties our family was complete. We survived job loss, underemployment, physical ailments, and even an occasional faltering of our faith. The one constant for me was the strength of a good woman who made me feel as though all the hard work would be rewarded.

It has been.

Not always in ways I expected.

My reflections this year have been on the trials that our children now face in their adult lives. One of our daughters began her married life with her husband being diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma - a cancer that is often deadly but very treatable. I think that was the longest 18 to 24 months of their lives (and ours). Very hard as a parent to watch the physical, emotional, and spiritual struggle of a young couple who wonder what new challenge each day or each new round of treatment brings. I am a man and a father - I want to fix things, and provide comfort. Not, just sit idly by knowing that I can do nothing beyond love, support, and pray.

Another daughter had to live as a single Mom for 4 years because of poor choices made by her husband that got him caught up in the legal system of two States. He is a good man who started down a wrong road years ago and, apparently, needed a stern wake up call to change. Forgiveness in her heart was hard in the beginning. It came easier when she understood a little better about addiction. I am still trying to figure out how to forgive completely.

When my sweetheart and I embarked upon this journey, nearly 37 years ago now, I don't think either of us had any idea of the twists and turns life would take. The same applies to all our children who are at some point on the same journey. I have learned that it is through our struggles that we learn to lean on one another. I look back on my 56+ years and can see where the love we began with at 19 has blossomed into something more precious and deep. Not only are we more in love than ever but we are truly friends.

"I was in love when we first got married--no doubt about that--but now it is so much more. True love and friendship have blossomed through all the struggles we have been through together. I hate to think where we would be had we quit on each other." (James L. Slaughter)

I do reflect upon all these events and many others this time of year. I marvel at the medical knowledge and technology that is available today. I will be grateful to all the medical staff who worked on and cared for me 5 years ago for the rest of my life.

As I read back through this post it seems a little mawkish but that may be the kind of man I am as well.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.