Oatmeal, mouth wash, fiber, ....

Sitting below my computer monitor in my office at work is a sticky note pad with the beginning of a list of things I would like to pick up from the store on my way home this evening. This list was started this morning almost as soon as I arrived at work and sat down. It is my strong desire to take this list with me when I head out the door in a few hours. There is a very good possibility that when I return to this office Monday morning the list will still be affixed to the sticky note pad sitting in the same spot on the desk right below the computer monitor. Not because I don't want to have the reminder in hand when I walk into the store. No. I realize that without the list in hand I will forget something and will consequently need to make a second trip later or just do without for another day.

My wife and I stopped at this same store last night following a nice dinner at a local eatery because I needed to pick up a prescription that has been ready for a day or two (I didn't forget just didn't need until last night). We sat in the parking lot (finishing off a couple small DQ ice cream cones) and I tried to remember the few additional items I should purchase while there. Total blank. I did remember some of it after returning to the car as we were leaving the parking lot. Nothing important enough to park and return to the store before tonight, hence the list. I realize that the unimportance of the items on the list is a likely cause of the memory issue but I also know that there are times when important items elude me. Heck there are days when I am distracted enough by life that I can walk into a store with a list and leave without everything intended.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, "If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month." I recognize that I am the creator of all that ails (fails?) me. "My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." (Mitch Hedburg). What a pain in the back-side a faulty memory can be, or faulty choices can be.

I know people who are the master of all they survey. Many of them have assistants, secretaries, and employees to help them maintain the illusion. That is all it is - illusion. In employment if there were no customers, or managers to remind us we would easily turn from our intended path. Not maliciously, mind you, it is just so dang easy to succumb to those distractions that crop up in our everyday. For the last 15-20 years I have intended to spend a few minutes daily or weekly writing a note in a journal. Have I done so? No. Have I thought of it? Of course. The transition from thinking to doing has been a bit of a stumbling block. I explained to my sweetheart a few  years ago that I would like to attempt writing some short stories or a book. I kind of feel like Steven Wright who quipped, "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." only I don't even have that.

My problem is that the pattern I have adopted for each day never changes and has become very comfortable. When good things that should be done arise it is difficult to adjust. It is just too easy to leave things undone. I like that television program, I want to go to bed at an early hour, I worked hard all day and deserve some time to vegetate, and the list of excuses goes on and on. Give me a specific task to get done and let me do it between the hours of 5:00 am and 7:00 pm and it will get done but don't infringe on those sacred hours outside that time frame or there will be a fight. An attitude I suspect my current church service is, partly, designed to change. And it has on a limited basis. I should probably just surrender my attitude to the reality that much good could come about for me and those closest to me if only that mould (not sure why I prefer the British spelling) could be broken.

A decision has been made. My effort will be increased. Somehow, someway, I'll create the energy and the resolve to break out of these destructive patterns. I think the first thing to fall should be that journal. I will begin today. Since it seems important there will be future updates as to how it is going. It feels like it will need to be a daily event or it won't happen.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world." Leo Buscaglia

Fans of Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes comic strip may remember the strip that shows Calvin and Hobbes in bed, with Calvin commiserating that he could not sleep, and that nighttime must be dark so you can better imagine your fears. He then notices that Hobbes (stuffed tiger) is asleep next to him and he gets caught up in watching him and commenting on how he looks when he sleeps and how tightly he closes his eyes. Calvin then remarks "Good ol' Hobbes, what a friend." He then puts his head down on the pillow and says, "Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend." And he drifts off to sleep. What a great sentiment. Thank you Bill Watterson for that gentle reminder of the importance of friends.

I had a customer who recently had his seventieth birthday. We spoke about our respective families for a moment and he asked me if I had any siblings. Of course I told him I have one brother who lives in another part of the country. He asked if we are close. I had to admit that we really are not. He asked if I minded sharing with him how old I am? I told him. He laughed and shared with me the thought that he and his brother were no different. He said those years from about 30-60 brothers are so busy with their own lives that they rarely communicate. He indicated that in his informal survey of friends and acquaintances it has been universally true that as men (brothers) near retirement and life begins to slow down they once again become friends. I hope this is true for Mitchell D. and me. I know it would make our Mother very happy.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once observed that "The only way to have a friend is to be one."

As I sit here composing this post I find myself wondering if I have ever truly been a friend. Based on the Emerson quote I suppose I have. I have enjoyed many friends in my life. Still do have many whom I consider friends. According to dictionary.com a friend is,

"a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard." 

Seems kind of clinical but accurate. According to Facebook I have 264 friends (pretty sure I have many more but some are not on that site).

Jeff Foxworthy says, "There are friends, then there are the friends you can talk about anything with (and also go to jail with)." A funny bit with a lot of truth in it. In that same vein Walter Winchell is quoted as saying, "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." There are many in my life that I can count on when in a difficult spot. They are there when needed and have even been willing to step in at great inconvenience to themselves. Grateful for them and their friendship.  Hopefully they all know that I am there for them in times of trouble and need.

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship." Thomas Aquinas

A short post for today. Hopefully some value added to someone. Pausing and thinking about the friends in my life has made it very worthwhile for me. "Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend." (Watterson)

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Sometimes it is good to do nothing.

I was a participant in a meeting once where I mentioned that I was feeling guilty about spending a recent day doing absolutely nothing more than the minimal requirements of the day. I then went on to talk about some of the things I missed out on by not actively participating in some of the potential activities that were available to me on that date. Following the meeting one of those attending approached me and spoke about the need, from time to time, that he had to spend time just like I was feeling guilty about. He said that I missed out on the enjoyment, that he discovered, of doing nothing and suggested that I should change my view. I'm not sure whether he is right or wrong in that regard but I have learned that I do need an occasional day when my participation in it is minimal. I have learned to not feel guilty about spending a day so casually as long as they happen infrequently.

We had the opportunity to visit our family in Nashville, Tennessee this past weekend and the plan included several days of doing nothing. We made no plans other than church on Sunday and a get together with friends of our family that we also have come to love and enjoy spending time with. It was fantastic. Sleeping a little later than normal (7 to 8ish). Watching movies. Sitting around the dinner table visiting. Not even thinking about e-mail or Facebook. Not a care in the world other than what was happening right in front of us. Watching grandchildren play together. Reading to them and listening to them read to us. Hearing the joy in their voices as they sing to no one in particular (in their loudest voices). A very good few days of other than normal activity. Loved it.

Monday came. Time to think about heading home. What's that you say? The flight has been canceled? Cool. More time to spend in the pursuit of nothing in particular. After texting employers and family members, and two hours on hold waiting to re-schedule that flight home we once again could take some time to do nothing. This day was only different in that we could not venture outside due to frigid temperatures and ice on every surface visible. So we stayed in and listened as more songs were sung, more time was spent in conversation, and the brain slowly switched back from it's time to head for home to it's time for more resting and enjoying what is right here.

We found plenty to occupy our time. The added two days in Tennessee passed very steadily and we finally had to say our goodbyes. The journey home was uneventful but long. Three airports, and a 5 hour drive later, we backed into the garage. After two days of catching up at work I have had a few minutes to reflect on the things learned (or re-learned) about time spent doing nothing. I guess I can sum it up like this; Doing nothing while spending time with family and friends becoming reacquainted, observing the interactions among those we have come to love, shutting off the cares and concerns of life in the rear-view mirror, is some of the best time spent.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." George Burns

In the early hours of the morning I sometimes wonder why in the heck I am awake. In the same moment I often realize that I am awake because I ache from the top of my head all the way to my ankles. I can't remember being in an accident, or falling while snowboarding (I don't snowboard), or being in some other physical altercation, but I sure do feel like it. Then the realization hits that in order for me to get some relief from the ache I will need to get out of bed, lumber to the medicine cabinet stopping on the way for some bladder relief... .and I don't think I have the strength to do any of it. So I lay there eyes closed and wide awake trying to decide if it's worth it to make the attempt. I promise myself that if I am awake five minutes from now I'll get up and go do something about it. And so five minutes later I roll out of bed stalk out to the kitchen to take some over the counter pain relief, having paused along the way to take care of that other need, pour myself a tall glass of cool water (having voided the bladder I now need to refill it) and sit down at the kitchen table to read something for a few minutes to see if I can become drowsy again.

They tell me this is a part of getting older. I don't like it at all. 

I went for my annual physical this past week and found out that I am as healthy as I can be for having all the maladies that I have. All are managed well... . save 1. Still packing too much weight on this five foot eleven inch frame. So it begins again for me - starting the process of trying to lose some of this excess baggage around my middle. I spoke with my physician about what limitations I have and so I will begin to push a little. This is a strange place to be for someone who still thinks he is in his twenties. I look in the mirror every morning and wonder who that old man is standing in front of me. I wait impatiently for him to get out of the way so I can shave and get my day started. He eventually steps up to the sink and gets it all done in a slow methodical fashion and finally I can get in there and get ready myself. He steps out of the way and I'm done.

Well this year I am starting early. Getting ready for the Mike the Headless Chicken Festival 5k fun run/walk. Last year I finished in just under an hour. This year I hope to finish in the middle forties. Training for the event will begin in earnest now that we are through the worst of winter. I am looking forward to finding where my limitations begin and trying to push beyond them. Oh don't worry, it isn't my intent to do myself any harm but I have learned that pushing a little past the beginning of discomfort eventually makes it easier and moves that line a little farther away. 

I suppose in many ways I am getting old. This body is anyway. My mind and spirit, on the other hand, constantly remind me that I don't have to get old in my attitude. It will have to be the mind and spirit that pull the body forward to a new healthy. The body in and of itself doesn't have what it takes to push limits anymore. Mr. Burns was right "You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."

Oh, back to the beginning. Often I find that as I read my mind and spirit settle down my heart rate slows and that readiness for slumber does return. Nearly always one of the books I find on the kitchen table that brings me back to a place where I can relax is my Bible. Not because it bores me. Quite the contrary, but it does bring me that peace of mind that makes me realize that the ache I felt all along wasn't necessarily my aging body - but the desire, the hunger, the thirst for something greater. As I finish reading I offer a silent prayer of thanksgiving for those records that have been preserved over the generations so we (you and I) can feel that peace.

That's all for now. Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Random thoughts from the mind that never sleeps II.

"A well spent day brings happy sleep" (Leonardo daVinci)

I have experienced this and find it to be true. When I have the most productive day, whether mental or physical, I get the best sleep. The problem I have is that I only sleep well for a few hours and then end up in that never-land between good sleep and nearly awake - for the rest of the night. What is it that causes this to happen? I wish someone would tell me. It is not the kind of sleep that I prefer. I like waking up refreshed and raring to go in the morning. The energy that springs from an awake mind is something missing in my life and much desired.

"How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?" (Dr. Seuss).

It seems as if each time a conversation is had with family member or friend a comment is made about the fact that it is already first November then December. Where in the heck did this year go? Before we know it January will be knocking on the door (started this one a while ago - January is here). I'm not really complaining its entirely possible that this mind could drive me crazy if time moved any slower. The nights are long enough without the days dragging by as well.

Are you getting the idea that I am looking for reasons to be curmudgeonly today? Well enough of that silly nonsense.

Cindy recently rode the train from Provo, Utah to Grand Junction. Something she says she has always wanted to do. She also says she enjoyed the trip and will possibly do it again. I've ridden a train before and will not voluntarily do so again. Sure I was a small boy and not really interested in being confined to a seat for the duration of the journey. It took forever to get from Glenwood Springs to Grand Junction (at least to a young boy) and I have not forgotten that fact.

I'm sitting here near the end of a quietly productive day contemplating what to do tonight upon my arrival home. I suspect nourishment will be on the immediate agenda. I recently began reading the new Jack Ryan novel (Tom Clancy - RIP and Mark Greaney) and could put in a few hours reading and considering. It is also possible that I may just sit and view a movie or watch a little television with Cindy. Some might think that time would be spent preparing for meetings at Church tomorrow - that work has already been done. We will see.

With all the variety of activities available to us in this lifetime I sometimes wonder how the days end up being the same. Monday we do this, Tuesday this, etc... and it seems to run on and on with not much change. I do love the familiar but it seems to be taken to the extreme as I ponder the week past.

The year has ended and I have spent some time thinking about goals for the coming months. Nothing set just yet. I don't share those typically here but may do so this year. I may need the supporting comments of friends and family as I attempt to improve our situation. Again, we will see. Either way the plan will be made by the end of the coming week.

You were warned in the title. Random thoughts.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"I like to reminisce with people I don't know." Steven Wright

I recently had the opportunity to spend time with a family that just suffered the loss of a loved one. The first opportunity for me to have this responsibility since being called to serve as Bishop of the Mount Sneffels Ward here in Montrose, CO. When I took that phone call from some of the missionaries assigned to serve in our area a flood of memories came rushing in. Dad died in 2006 and Mom in 2012 and many of the feelings I had during those events came to mind as I began to help this family plan to say goodbye to their loved one. I met with the family mid-day on the Saturday following their loss. I had not met any of them before that moment. You might think that would make this easier but, for me at least, it did not. There are questions that have to be asked. With clear answers not necessarily easily found.

While not having personal grief to deal with in this situation, having had my own experience in dealing with those feelings certainly helped me to notice those tender moments when an arm around the shoulder or a full on embrace was needed. In a circumstance like this when death came unexpectedly and suddenly it seems that it is very hard on everyone. No time to prepare, no time to say goodbye. Even when someone is in below average health we seem to believe that that moment is some time in the future. Sitting with the family in that first meeting on Saturday I realized how true the statement that a parent should never have to bury or grieve over the death of a child. Still applies even when the parents are in their 80's and the child is in his 60's.

There were a lot of friends and family who attended the service at the church. This fact seemed to bring some comfort to the family members. The service was filled with a comfortable, sweet spirit that touched the heart of many. The graveside moment was also well attended. His father dedicated the grave-site in a humble prayer of faith. I had much to consider as I drove home from Ridgway that afternoon. And much to be grateful for.

Kind of a downer today. I apologize for that only a little. These are things we all need to consider and plan for - better now than in a moment of distress and grief. I'm not telling you to rush out and make all your arrangements (that would be up to you). I am suggesting that it might be a good idea to at least have some conversations and write some of those thoughts down so you don't have several people remembering things differently and disagreeing about what should be done. Grief is hard enough without adding disagreement over the wishes of a loved one.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it." Willy Wonka

"My favorite things in life don't cost any money. It's really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time." (Steve Jobs)

Time.

I wonder, often, if I am making the best use of time. Like most of you I suppose there are days when I do accomplish all that is possible and then on other days nothing seems to get done. In my professional life I have the potential for a lot of down time. If other salespeople are not working deals and bringing those customers to see me to complete their contracts and other legal requirements I don't always have work related items that demand my attention. There are days, though when it seems that I arrive in my office to find a customer waiting for me and then I look up and it is 5:00 pm and time to start thinking about what happens that evening. I need to find productive things to do that will make each day like that.

The real problem, as I see it, with having days like today where there are no customers in the store, no deals to work online, and no fires from previous contracts to put out, lead to habits that make it difficult to transition back to going full bore upon my arrival at home. Often these days of inactivity leave me so worn out mentally that it is hard to get motivated to activity throughout the evening. That means that Mrs. Mahan suffers because I am less inclined to help out with the few things that I can do to assist her around our home. Sometimes I mentally blame it on my physical (lack of) health and she, grudgingly, lets me get away with it.

I am resolved that this needs to change. Time is a very precious resource and once expended it cannot be retrieved. We just have to move on anew.

Speaking of time well spent. As posted a few months ago we had our annual reunion at Powderhorn Resort on Grand Mesa over Labor Day weekend. What a great time. Three days and nights spent with 23 of the best people I know. All our children (their spouses), grandchildren, and friends that we have come to love just as much as our own children. A lot of time spent just conversing and renewing relationships. We have some traditions (new and old) that have become part of this weekend. We love going to Lands End overlook on top of Grand Mesa to watch the setting sun over the Colorado National Monument to the west. The sun setting and the lights coming on in the Grand Valley make for a beautiful sight. Many photos taken and kind of a culminating event that signals that we are soon to return to life in whatever lane we run in normally.

It was good to have them all there this year. It has been several years since we all could make it. I am amused and pleased that the technology of today (smart phones with Facetime capability) make it so that cousins that live hundreds of miles apart know one another by sight and voice and already have a better relationship than I ever had with my cousins who lived nearby. They pick up their conversations as though they live next door and play together daily. Grandma also benefits from the technology (she can't work it easily, also amusing, but she gets by) and has a more personal relationship with each of those granddaughters than would have been possible a few decades ago.

A good use of time? I think so. But that technology that can be such a blessing can also become a distraction that leads to inattention to other things that should command more of our time. The old adage "everything in moderation" seems to universally apply even to modern advances.

Well, enough written for today. I hope you all are well.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.