Dad Things!

 "A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society."

                    Billy Graham

I find myself thinking about the early years during which we had young children growing up in our home, and occasionally call to mind my own childhood and recall with fondness many experiences that were had with my own father. Time and distance make many of these memories a little fuzzy, but they still seem to resonate upon consideration.

Today I think I'll spend time expanding upon some of the experience I had with my children (I'll save my childhood for another day).

Some of my favorite time spent with family was when we would travel to many destinations with everyone in a car or van. It all felt like an adventure. I don't recall any conflict arising among the children (it is possible that I have blocked this out) but we really did enjoy spending time together. We often sang songs that were learned in church meetings (Primary classes) or other places where children learn music. I may not have always known the lyrics perfectly but the Mahan children and their mother certainly did. Mrs. Mahan helped me as much as she could, and eventually I learned those lyrics and usually got them in the right order.

These trips might be a 6-7 hour drive to Bayfield, CO, or a 3.5 hour drive to Grand Junction, CO, or, what became a family favorite a 4 plus hour drive to Powderhorn Resort on The Grand Mesa. A lot of laughter, singing, and quiet conversation occurred during these drives and continued upon arrival at our specific destinations. Extended family was always part of the destination and relationships were forged with Grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles. Looking back I realize how important those relationships have been and I am extremely grateful that we had the opportunity for them to be formed. It really does take a village, though sometimes I think society forgets that a village is often quite small. 

Moving on: For a few years I was employed in a job that began each day at 10:00p.m. and ended anywhere between 5:00a.m. and 10:00a.m.. On the days when my workday stretched into mid morning I came home and went straight to bed. During the summer months my children would have a small swimming pool in the back yard that got dumped at the end of the day and refilled with cold water each morning. By lunchtime the water had warmed up enough that they could enjoy some fun running into and out of the pool kicking and splashing water on each other and the dog(s). When I would awaken during the hot part of the day I would often go out and sit in the water with them. There were days when I would walk straight out while still in my work clothes and sit. Fun for me, fun for them, even the dog(s) seemed to enjoy the joke.

Another favorite memory of mine was playing kickball with the family in the back yard. With seven, sometimes eight, of us playing we made a lot of noise. I'm sure the neighbors enjoyed listening to the hullaballoo as much as we enjoyed creating it. My son and I played a lot of a catch in that same back yard. Baseball, football, really any kind of ball that could be tossed back and forth. As they got older this happened less often but still was an occasional burst of familial frivolity.

I don't sneeze a lot, but when I do it is loud. I have startled many a child and even my spouse with a sudden burst of two or three very loud outbursts. I'm sure the sneezes themselves are not a good memory but the laughter (or, at least grinning grimaces) following may be a memory each of my children have. Mrs. Mahan still has the pleasure of the more frequent outbursts which may not be such a positive recollection for her. I believe most of the kids have not inherited from me this habit that I seem to have developed after hearing my own father shake the rafters for my entire youth.

"My father didn't tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it." 

                                                    Clarence Budington Kelland

When our oldest children were small I have a few specific memories I'll share now. 

We lived in a house that was situated in the middle of a forty acre field (usually of onions). While on that property we had three dogs who joined us. Our oldest child was born while we lived there. Each evening after dinner I would often go sit on a lounge chair under the shade of the ancient Cottonwood trees that surrounded the house and out buildings. Those dogs would usually join me in the shade. When our daughter reached toddler age she would also come out and play nearby. Often she would sit on the back of one of the dogs and chatter at him. She would climb on and off and on and off and.... well you get the idea. They were very patient with her even when she played with their ears and stayed on a back for a long time. 

Our second child arrived after we had moved from that property and as he grew to toddler age he liked to climb all over me as I lay on the floor of our domicile. He didn't play with my ears but he rolled over my back and hips for lengthy periods of time. I doubt that either of them have any recollection of these occurrences but they are fond recollections of mine.

All of our children have made (or are making) more of themselves than we ever did. For this great blessing I am grateful. My hope is that we have contributed in some small way to who they have become.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon, See you then.

More about me.

 "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." Steve Martin

We had a very long week beginning Monday the 7th of April. 

Over the weekend leading up to that day I had an unusal amount of chest pain (angina) that was occasionally relieved by the use of nitroglycerin (sub-lingual) and a longer acting version that I take twice daily. The Aortic valve replacement I mentioned in my last post was scheduled for the morning of the 8th. Monday afternoon and evening I was not obtaining any relief from using the nitro tablets. By 8:00 p.m. it had become so intense that I called 911 and the paramedics were dispatched.

They came and did their assessment determining that it did not appear that I was having a heart attack. We explained that I was scheduled for an aortic valve replacement the next morning and asked if they would transport me to Utah Valley Hospital so they could examine me and monitor the difficulty through the night. Since they determined that there was not an emergency situation they would transport me to that facility. On the way they administered 2 doses of pain relief that helped somewhat and they also communicated with the emergency department that they were transporting me to their facility.

We arrived at about 9:00 p.m. and the emergency personelle took over. Long story short, I ended up in the Cath-lab that night with the on call doctor who had just worked on my heart a few weeks earlier. He found no other blockages and was in and out of my heart arteries pretty quickly. 

My family members who had followed the ambulance to the ER went to their various homes after I had been settled into the ICU for the night.

The TAVR (TransAortic Valve Replacement) occurred Tuesday morning and all was well. Back to the ICU for that day and night. The overnight RN who cared for me mentioned that there was a brief rhythm issue about a half hour prior to her coming check vitals and surgical sites. 

She mentioned the skipped beats to me and indicated that she would be closely monitoring my heart beat for the remaining hours of the early morning. It seemed to have settled into normal rhythm through the remaining overnight.

That did change during the daylight hours and we met with the cardiac electrician that afternoon. He gave me a couple options to be monitored - one in the hospital and one at home. We chose home but the plan changed as the condition worsened over the next hours. and we went back to the Cath-lab with the same physician who placed the new valve to place a temporary (Transvenous) pacemaker through my jugular vein. 

Something happened when the first one was placed and it somehow bent and cracked. The second one I apparently tore at while coming out of sedation. Finally the third was successful.

The next morning the cardiac electrician ( Dr. Wang) placed a permanent pacemaker and removed the temporary. All was well once again. A few more hours in the ICU and then we were moved from ICU to a more general care floor. 

4 times sedated and entry made into this old body nearly wore me out. My sweetheart and daughters didn't fare any better than I, but they did get to sleep in their own beds each night (Cindy stayed with me the night of the temporary pacemaker placement). 

We returned home on Friday afternoon and settled in for a restful weekend. No complications since (so far) and I feel great. My hope is that I can return to work in a few weeks. 

I'm not sure I have words to express the gratitude I feel toward the nurses who cared for me. Their professionalism, knowledge, and kindness blow me away whenever I think of the care I received. The truly amazing thing to me is that they each have their own life concerns (family, relationships, personal health), yet they put those troubles aside and care for their charges above and beyond expectations.

More to come soon. Thanks for checking in. See you soon.

Health update

 "I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious."                                                            Steven Wright

So to give an update to one of my posts (maybe my only post) from last year. 

I had a mild heart attack on February 29 of 2024 which resulted in 3 stents being placed in heart arteries. Following that procedure I was feeling great for about a week and then some slight angina returned with more strenuous exertion (more than normal since there is a very small part of my heart muscle that does not have any blood flow). It got progressively worse over the next few months prompting a return to my Cardiologist for a follow up visit. We scheduled another angiogram as a result.

July 27, 2024 that angiogram was completed and it was discovered that one of the stents placed in February had become partially occluded and some additional areas needed to have stents placed (3 this time). Again I had a period when I felt better than I had for some months but the angina returned and some additional stresses were introduced into my life that made things slightly worse (I won't go into details now).

November 7, 2024 I experienced another slight heart attack. This event was a bit more intense but still I was able to summon the ambulance and let my wife know what was happening so she could meet us at the hospital. Another angiogram with several additional stents added to the total and the surgeon re-inspecting all the other areas that had been a problem before to make sure that they were open and clear of occlusion. Once again I was feeling pretty darn good for a few weeks but then angina and other new issues began to appear, so...

March 10, 2025 I met with my primary Cardiologist at one of his offices to discuss all the discomforts I had been experiencing for several months. He suggested that we have a cardiac MRI done and got me added to the schedule for the next day.

March 11, 2025 Cardiac MRI. This imaging (with contrast) takes about an hour of your life. It feels like it takes much, much longer. There is a need for the patient to hold their breath for 5 - 20 seconds about 45 times during the hour you are in the MRI device. I survived this imaging test and was headed to the changing room so I could get dressed to go to work. On the way I met my cardiologist coming in to view the images so we could discuss what he saw. He took a look while I was being given another EKG and blood pressure check and came to let me know that he saw some potential problem areas that we would discuss the next morning via telephone call. He did let me know that after a quick look at the images there is a new blockage that needs to be addressed.

March 12, 2025 Before I heard from my primary cardiologist I received a phone call from the hospital cath. lab. scheduler to get me on the calendar for March 14. A few hours later my cardiologist called with the confirmation that there was a blockage near a previously placed stent but the larger concern is that the moderate stenosis of my Aortic Valve had progressed to a severe. He indicated that he would speak with the surgeon who would be performing the angiogram to take a closer look at the Aortic Valve to confirm the imaging.

March 14, 2025 Catheterization Lab. An additional stent was placed in the area that was becoming occluded. The imaging of the Aortic Valve was confirmed. 

April 2025. We (me and my heart) will be receiving some attention from a new (to us) cardiologist who will be placing a new valve in my heart. I will keep you updated as we move through this new adventure. 

More to come soon. Thanks for checking in. See you soon.

"Joy is the serious business of Heaven." C.S. Lewis

 As I was sitting at the drive through window at a local mixed soft drink store, I noticed the young woman who was taking orders and receiving payment was wearing a sweatshirt that had what I thought was a logo on the front. I finally got a good look at the words and saw this:

                                                I Love you

                                                Say it back

After she handed me the finished product and started to turn away from the window I asked her if I could ask a question? 

She indicated that I could so I asked about the words on the sweatshirt. She spread the shirt a little so we could both read it. I asked what it meant to her? She didn't have a response other than she just likes the shirt. (It is a logo).

I said to her,

                                                "I love you"

just to see what her reaction would be. Keep in mind I'm old enough to be her grandfather. 

She and the other young women in the store started squealing with surprise and delight. Then I drove off.

I've shared this story with several people over the last months since it happened and they all smile and sometimes chuckle at the experience. which leads me to think that it may have just been happiness that the interaction at the drive through window caused - not joy. After all, happiness is fleeting but joy is something we can have every day.

Carlos Santana is quoted as saying, "If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment." (Rolling Stone March 16, 2020).

I'm discovering that one of the best ways to carry joy in my heart every day is to share that joy, in some small way, with others (the drive through window) even if it just brings a fleeting bit of happiness for the other person. I think that, sometimes, those fleeting moments bring about a simple joy as these interactions are shared with others.

I'm learning that brief but more in depth conversation with others can bring joyful moments. Beginning to learn about a co-worker and their family for example can cause a simple smile to blossom into a warmth in those relationships and cause a reverberation of joy through all future interactions between those involved. I sat at the break room table recently with a co-worker who I met, in passing, during my new employee orientation, many months ago. We had a great conversation about  different topics related to the job I am currently serving in. We shared some personal and some general experiences that led to additional training and discussion. It was a good 2 hours of sharing that will help me be a better person and employee. I hope her view is the same as mine.

I came home later that day in a much better than normal mood (and I'm a pretty positive person) for a day of sitting in the office waiting for an assignment to come my way when none did. 

I've had other similar opportunities to spend a few minutes to a few hours getting to know co-workers on a personal level. I guess I'm fairly easy to talk with. I have learned that I also am willing to share my life experience with others once a conversation has started. I understand that I am not always easy to approach and can be a little stand-offish at times. Once that wall comes down there is very little that will not be thoughtfully shared.

My belief is that we ought to take every opportunity to spend time listening to, and sharing with those around us. 

Jim Rohn said, "The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy."

Today let's knock down some walls (or at the least, poke some holes) and let joy become a part of our day. 

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

A wakeup call!

29 February 2024.

It began at about 9:00 a.m. - something was not quite right with me that morning, but I could not identify what it was. I was sitting in one of my favorite spots eating a little breakfast and watching an episode of the "Daisy Jones and the Six" series. I had several hours before I had to report for work and figured I would discover what was off before I had to head that way to begin my workday. I moved around a bit, took dirty dishes to the sink dropped some debris into the garbage can, and just started thinking about what I needed to get done before heading out. 

As I was sitting on the chair taking my morning medication and vitamins I noticed that I was having some discomfort in my arms (yes both) that felt a lot like the angina I occasionally have in my chest but a little more intense. I then realized that there was a building pressure in my chest that immediately gave me some concern. I reached for the nitroglycerin that I always have nearby (usually in my left pants pocket) but didn't find it there. I recalled that I had placed it on the island in the kitchen along with my wallet, keys, and glasses. Getting up to retrieve it was uncomfortable but tolerable.

I noticed the time as I placed one tablet under my tongue (to dissolve) and returned to my seat.

 Nothing changed.

I placed another tablet under my tongue about 6 minutes later.

Nothing changed.

I placed another tablet under my tongue about 6 minutes after the second and moved to a more solid and upright chair.

Nothing changed.

I am a firm believer in following medical instructions and I knew that with no change in pain, pressure, and discomfort I needed to call 911 and request an ambulance. I called my sweetheart at work and let her know what was happening and asked her to find a ride home right away (we are functioning with just one car currently) which she did.

I called 911 and explained what was happening to the dispatcher who immediately sent an ambulance my way. I unlocked the apartment door and opened it slightly so the EMS crew could come right in to the apartment upon arrival. The woman on the phone stayed with me until the EMS crew came through the door. 

These men and women are amazing. This crew went to work right away getting my medical history, starting an ECG, and generally putting my mind at ease. 

Cindy arrived home and right away one of the other team members began collecting my medical history, medications taken, and surgical procedures for the record they would transmit to the ER. 

Once they determined that I should be transported to the hospital things moved pretty swiftly. I climbed onto the gurney and they whisked me out the door into the ambulance and to the ER at the Timpanogos Regional Hospital in Orem, UT. During transport they completed another ECG and inserted an IV needle into my right arm. In a moving ambulance - one stick and right into the vein. They also transmitted the information to the ER and called them to let them know they were bringing me to the hospital. They (the ER nurses and docs) were ready when we came through the door and took over once I had been taken into one of the exam rooms. 

By this time the discomfort in my chest started to subside but the sharp pain in both arms continued. 

A technician came and drew some blood for testing. They were looking for evidence of a protein (troponin) in my blood. Troponin in the blood indicates that there has been damage to heart muscle and is only found (if I understand correctly) in the blood when there has been a heart attack. The initial blood draw showed a low number of the protein in the blood so they knew there had been a heart attack but still did not have clarity as to the severity. About an hour later another blood draw was done and that came back with a much higher troponin level than the first. The decision was made to admit me to the hospital and my cardiologist and one of his partners would consult together and get with me and my family sometime later in the day.

We met at about 7:00 p.m. (I think) - time kind of blurred through the afternoon. He/they recommended a catheterization to inspect the arteries feeding the heart muscle. He (Dr. Weaver) was on call that night so he asked if I wanted to do it then or wait until the following afternoon. I opted for that night. 

He called his team in and I was taken to the cath. lab. at about 9:00 p.m..

The result is that they placed 4 stents in one of my natural heart arteries because the graft that had bypassed that artery had become blocked and it made more sense to open the original equipment if he could. It took about 2 hours to accomplish but it worked. The before and after photos are remarkable. There is an area of my heart muscle that has not seen regular and normal blood flow for at least 13 years (that is how long since the bypass). I feel better than I have for quite some time and have returned to normal daily activity.

Modern medicine is amazing. 

There are many changes that will be made in my lifestyle. I have already been losing weight and will work to continue that trend. We will be changing eating habits as we can - per direction from a dietician we met with before leaving the hospital. 

I have written this primarily for my family members but if anyone who reads this and adjusts their own life for the better I will be very pleased.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then. 

"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." Erma Bombeck

 

     We have a son-in-law who really does consider gravy to be a beverage. All that was left on his plate yesterday after the many helpings of turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing was a big puddle of gravy. He is the one who brought the gravy having cooked a bird earlier in the week just so he could provide that liquid refreshment for the Thanksgiving meal. It was very good. I'm fairly certain that every drop that was not consumed during our feast was taken home for further consumption. It was really very good.

     A friend posted to Facebook yesterday (Thanksgiving Day in the USA) asking his friends to post things they are grateful for. He indicated that he would post what he is grateful for on Friday. I had already planned to make this entry today so didn't change my plan.

     John F. Kennedy is quoted as saying, "We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives."

     That would, of course, include my family, friends, co-workers, and many others with whom I have crossed paths over the years I have been on this earth. The sentence seems trite when I look back and read it, but it is so very true. We spend more time together with family than with almost any others. So many people cross paths with me and each has an influence for good or ill, even if I don't always recognize that impact.

William Shakespeare said, "O Lord that lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfullness." 

I hope to avoid being to mawkish here but the topic lends itself to being so. 

     As this month unfolds and acquaintances post on Facebook or Instagram about all the things they are thankful for I think to myself "I wish I had said that" so, I hope you will accept that I am thankful for all the things you are plus a few more that are unique to my circumstance. I may not write about them here but it doesn't change the reality. 

With apologies to Bill Watterson;

Is there really anything needed more than a good home and a best friend?

We had a brief discussion yesterday about the way so many families are depicted on social media, and even in our current reality, with infighting and usurpations happening among family members. 

     I/we have not experienced anything like this. We seem to like one another and get along even when issues do arise (and they do). Cindy commented that there is a tendency for us to move past the negatives and get along. I agree. I hope that there is less distress among families than is depicted. Perhaps in this season of gratitude we can all learn to be more tolerant and grateful. 

     Robert Louis Stevenson stated, "Keep your eyes open to your mercies. The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life."

     I agree, though it might be that in the hustle and bustle of life we lose track of what is of more importance. I am very thankful for these days (holidays and long weekends) that afford us the opportunity to slow and be grateful. Life is too short to just be busy moving from one project to another without taking the time to see all the other good things and people in life.

     Well I've repeated myself a few times here so maybe I should call it good. Please take time to reflect on the things that matter in your life. 

     Emphasis on family and faith.

Thank for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

 

Random thoughts from a random guy.

As I look back at this blog I am stunned that I have not posted for well over a year. There have been many days when I have started to write about something going on in the family but I have just not been able to put into words all the thoughts streaming through my little brain. I'm not sure that today will be any different but a serious attempt to organize and write is underway.

The world is dramatically different today that it was the last time I posted. Our family, thus far, has been spared illness related to the COVID 19 causing virus. Although Cindy has an aunt and a cousin who are being carefully monitored. Her aunt has the virus but has not exhibited any serious symptoms and her cousin has some symptoms and has been tested but has not heard if he has the virus (last we heard anyway). 

Cindy and I are fortunate that we are both able to work from home. She meets with students several times a day via Zoom and I do what I do on the phone and via Microsoft Teams meetings and even on occasion via RingCentral Meetings. It helps to maintain a regular schedule and remember which day of the week we are living in. We still have those moments when we are stir-crazy and really need to get out and do something (but we don't). Once in a while one of us will venture out to pickup food from a restaurant or make a run to the grocery store to grab something that was out of stock when we placed a click list order. Mostly we stay in - working, reading, video chatting with family, and staring at each other grateful for the companionship (at least I am).

This past Friday evening we met with 2 of our daughters at a local park to have a socially distant meal - just the 4 of us. It was a beautiful evening and there were others who had the same idea so we had to be selective with where we sat. It was good to sit with them (no grandchildren) eating a meal together and having conversation. We spoke (well the 3 - Cindy, Holly, Lisa did) about books that have been read, that are being read, and those next on the list to be read. We spoke about those just mentioned grandchildren and some of the fun things they are doing now. We also realize just how much we are missing in the development of the 2 youngest since they are at that age when life changes so very quickly. I listened, mostly, and chimed in when I had an inclination to do so. I realized that while we have a lot of technology that allows seeming quality interaction - face to face is still the better way. 

Earlier in the week we celebrated the birthday of a 5 year old grandson via one of the hangout platforms. We sang "Happy Birthday", he shared what a great and fun day he had with family and neighborhood friends. I am glad we could participate in this fashion and since we live in different States (United States) I asked Cindy why we haven't been doing this all the time for these celebrations. I think we will do this for every distant birthday celebration in coming years when we cannot be proximate (it often takes a crisis to identify such simple solutions).

One of the other positives I see in our current circumstance is that we have the opportunity to get to know our neighbors (from a distance, of course) a little better. Time spent speaking with them from the porch or in the hallway is more than a cursory "how are you? or just a nod of the head. No one seems to be in a hurry to go anywhere and it gives us time to greet sincerely and spend time getting to know each other better. We have a neighbor who I have greeted for several years and spoken to his dog (an old and gray Beagle) but for a long time did not even know his (the man) name, though I knew the dog well. He and I have gotten to know each other a bit better since life has slowed and now I consider him to be a good friend.

Life in quarantine (sort of) is actually pretty good. Oh, I miss personal interactions with gatherings of family and friends in person but, overall, it is pretty good.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then. 

A very good time was had by all.

Milestones in life.

Mrs. Mahan and I traveled to Nashville, TN over Labor Day weekend. The trip had nothing to do with the holiday however. We went to visit our daughter Stefanie and her family at their home in the Nashville area. We enjoy visiting the city but don't take the opportunity as often as we should to make the trek. I am not a fan of the high humidity since I have spent all my life in the arid Western United States. We go where family reside.

Our son-in-law (Matthew) has been telling us for some time now that the Nashville area has become a favorite destination for bachelorette parties. I must say there was ample evidence of this reality. On the second leg of our flight there (Houston, TX to Nashville) we shared the airplane with several different brides to be and varying portions of their bridal parties. I sat next to one of these women and her maid of honor, there was another party in the row right behind me, and there were at least two others seated several rows in front of Mrs. Mahan.

We arrived in Nashville in time to have an early birthday celebration with our soon to be 6 year old Granddaughter. Our oldest (Jennifer) and her oldest and youngest daughters had arrived the night before so we were able to have a very enjoyable birthday party for Lucy - that allowed her to be the center of attention for a few hours before her older sister would be baptized the next day.

I think Lucy really had fun with everyone focused on her for the afternoon.

That night the Matt Gray Band was scheduled for a couple sets at the Wildhorse Saloon, so we decided to go listen during the earlier set and enjoy a quality dinner. The menu is American fare with a Southern flavor and the food is always good. The Wildhorse Saloon is a family friendly atmosphere during the afternoon and dinner hours. the grandchildren all had fun line dancing and horsing around while we waited for dinner to be brought to the table while listening to the band.

We left after the first set and while Mrs. Mahan and I were waiting outside we quickly noticed wave after wave of twenty something women each group dressed in matching clothing and grinning from ear to ear. I mean dozens of them. Each party bus/wagon/carriage seemed  to also be filled with celebrating young women. I must not have believed it when Matthew first told us about this phenomenon but seeing is believing.

Saturday was a day focused on Michaela. She would be baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that afternoon. The morning was spent getting the room for the reception that followed the baptism set up and bringing all the food that had been prepared and placing it in the refrigerator and freezer in the kitchen. It was my privilege to perform the baptism and then to confirm Michaela a member of the Church. It was a wonderful service with about 50 friends and family in attendance.

We spent the evening just enjoying time together as family. The grandchildren all got to bed pretty close to their normal bedtime with the adults spending some quality time together talking and just being together. Jennifer did retire to bed a little earlier than the rest of us as she and the girls had to catch a flight home early the next morning. They were beginning to miss their family and were anxious to get home but also didn't want the weekend in Nashville to be over.

Sunday was a normal day for us - church and then more family time before we headed home to Utah. That trip began early Monday and was uneventful. It is always good to arrive home and this day was no exception. We (read as I) made the decision to fly early so we would have the afternoon to prepare for the coming work week and begin to settle back into our routine. We did.

I am amazed at how quickly these grandchildren are growing up.

I once had a conversation with a man I consider a friend, even though we haven't spoken in over a dozen years, who asked me about the closeness and evident love between our family members. "How did we do it?" he wondered. I'm not sure I understand it even now. My best guess is that we were a large family (8 total) living in a small house with 1 bathroom. We were together a lot.

Cindy (Mrs. Mahan) and I did our best to provide a safe haven for our family. A place of love, respect, and safety. One of our daughters recently wrote a short note to Cindy and me that included, "I loved sharing a room because it meant I never had to be alone when I was scared. I loved our house because it was a safe and happy place to be." ... "The home you and Mom made was a place where I was never embarrassed, and I can't say that about every other place in my life as a kid."

My purpose in sharing the above paragraph is to simply set up this; I see my grandchildren growing up in homes not unlike the one described above. Kudos to our children for continuing the tradition of safe, respectful, and loving places for their families to grow up.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then. 

Random thoughts

"Success is not final, Failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts." (Winston Churchill)

Cindy and I are both being challenged by our current career choices. Each day or week brings new opportunity for growing and learning. We are excited at the prospect of those opportunities and head to work each day with a smile (okay - I do, she may not always). We may not be smiling at the end of the day - that doesn't mean we are unhappy, it means we have expended all the energy we could to rise to those opportunities as they have come our way. Something we both learned from parents who always worked hard to provide for their respective families.

I worked for a man a few decades ago who understood that making mistakes is a part of the growth and learning process we all need to experience.

"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (Henry Ford)

No, it wasn't Henry Ford it was a contractor I worked for as a teenager. He assured me after a minor accident occurred involving a cement mixer that he had learned from his own mistakes to account for minor incidents in every bid he ever sent to a customer. He smiled at me and a co-worker who had contributed to the problem and said simply, "We'll have it fixed by tomorrow and I won't worry about it as long as you both learned a lesson today." It was fixed and we never had an issue with that piece of equipment again while in his employ.

My thought process over the past few months has tended toward how to begin something new while not disrupting the pattern of life we have established. I've concluded recently that it may be beneficial to have some disruption in those patterns, after all it is those patterns that have brought us to the point at which we reside currently.

"Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I've met people who don't want to try for fear of failing." (J.K. Rowling)

Thoughts like this from J.K. Rowling make me ponder on the things that have been set aside, in part, because of fear. I also wonder at times about how to begin? New beginnings can be hard if too much time is spent thinking about rather than doing. In doing we may find (usually do) traction that will take us in the right direction; even if that direction is different from our original idea.

For now new beginnings are at the top of my mind. If successful, terrific. If not, perhaps a lesson that will change my direction for the better.

This Memorial Day weekend we will be spending time with family in Grand Junction, Colorado. We have several grave sites of men who served in the military that we will visit and decorate. They did not die while in the service so really don't fit the real definition of this holiday - but we will visit and we will decorate anyway. It helps me remember the roots of our family and makes me think about the good memories associated with such honorable men as my father and hers.

We may also take in a baseball game at the Junior College World Series which begins this weekend and continues through the coming week. These games are just very enjoyable and often provide opportunity to see future Major League players like; Lorenzo Cain, Albert Pujols, Brock Holt, Bryce Harper and many others. Always fun games to watch with a great atmosphere in which to do so.

Enough for today.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time" Erma Bombeck

My family owned a gas station when I was young. We sold gasoline, vehicle repairs and service, and tires as our main business. My Dad also decided to sell a variety of other items. Things like hunting and fishing licenses, jewelry, firearms, and assorted candies and snacks. With all of these options available for the traveling public and the local consumers, we were busy most of the time. For a young boy who had an interest in all things going on in the world this was a terrific place to spend the hours after school and much of each Saturday.

 

When there I was expected to help customers that pulled in to fill their gas tank by performing that task plus washing all the windows, checking the oil level, and any other services the customer asked for. Most of the time I did so happily and quickly. There were those odd days when I hoped that each car that pulled in would stop at the self service island. Those days, of course, did not always go as hoped and I ended up waiting on far more customers than I cared to. A funny thing usually happened by the end of those days. I left work feeling a lot better about life than I did when I arrived earlier in the day. Our small town was seemingly filled with people who knew how to smile and make a young fellow feel better about whatever troubles he had.

There are funny things that happen when you are dealing with the public. There are also some not so funny things. I'll share just a few from my memory here today.

One of my least favorite jobs was cleaning the floor to ceiling windows that fronted the showroom and included the entrance to the building. Those windows faced a busy street so they accumulated a lot of dust and grime and needed to be washed and squeegeed regularly. We always knew that something humorous would happen on the days when that glass was cleaned. Whenever a customer would pull in to gas up we would get the work done while keeping an eye on the customer as he/she looked for the restroom. Invariably they would head for the showroom, but with clean glass it was sometimes hard to tell which pane was the door - or even if there was a glass pane in the frame. Many times people would walk straight into one of those windows banging their head or (if they were lucky) kicking it with their shoes. We finally had to resort to hanging signs and banners in the windows so people would stop walking into them.

 

There were also not so funny things that happened. Another one of my jobs was to clean the restrooms several times a week. Usually not too difficult or disgusting. But occasionally.... .

We arrived at the station early one morning and after the first customers had departed and we had some down time Dad asked me to clean the facilities. I took care of the men's room and then headed over to the ladies facility. I opened the door and discovered that whomever had used the room last had missed the toilet almost completely. There was human excrement all over the toilet, the floor, and even on the wall next to the toilet. A new experience for this young man and not fun at all to clean up.

 

There was one day when the Missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints came in to speak with my Dad. They were always welcome both at the gas station and in our home. This time though these two missionaries said something that got my Dad riled up and he forcibly told them to leave. There was one feeble attempt to calm his anger, he again told them to leave and they did. I remember having them over for dinner a few nights later that week and apologies where made on both sides and everything returned to normal in that relationship. A lesson to me on many levels - managing  anger (still trying to master this one), remorse when in the wrong, and forgiveness always.

I have pleasant memories of sitting in the garage on many quiet winter afternoons observing Dad, Dan or Adolph working on someones vehicle. Tune-ups in those days were frequently needed (spark plugs, condenser, points, timing) and carburetors needed to be rebuilt after a thorough cleaning. A lot of lessons to be learned. The opportunity for a young man to spend time observing men whom he admired and looked up to was well worth the time.

As I occasionally reflect on those simple days and experiences I smile. What a great childhood my brother an I had. Children today live a different life than we did. Even at a very young age they face challenges and distractions that we could have never even conceived. My hope is that, as my grandchildren grow, their parents (and grandparents) will help them find opportunities similar to those we had. Not necessarily how to work on a car, but time spent learning together about this life.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.  

Movement. Balance. Growth.

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." (Albert Einstein)

I remember a Monday when I arrived at work following a major snow storm in the Denver, CO area. It was cold and I was loving life. Cold weather has always been a favorite of mine so I was feeling pretty good that morning. One of our customers came into the dealership mid-morning and informed us that the car we had let him take over the weekend had been totaled. We had seen that car on a flatbed tow truck just a few moments before he walked in but had not yet connected the dots. My good day very quickly deflated. Of course we were concerned about the driver and any others that may have been involved in the accident. he was fine and only one vehicle was involved in this accident. I don't remember all the details as it was quite awhile ago. I do know that there was a crash into a wall and then the car rolled several times down the highway. Modern vehicles are really amazing. So much damage to the exterior but only minor bruising and scrapes to the driver.

I had a conversation with my boss later the next day about the incident. There were many things we had done wrong with regard to a loaned car (paperwork) so the dealership and our insurance would be on the hook rather than the customer and his insurance company. We (my team and I) received a major chewing out later that day. I accepted full responsibility for the snafu with our paperwork and was fully prepared for whatever consequence followed. There were none, other than the yelling and cursing. My boss and I had a conversation a few days later where he did tell me that he was fully prepared to release me from employment with the company until he spoke with his boss (the owner) who said simply, "Did he (me) learn anything from this?" to which my boss replied, "yes", and then the owner replied, "Then we are done with the incident - if we and our employees are not learning from what happens here every day, then we have a problem and changes need to be made. We will pay the deductible, the insurance company will pay off the car, and we all move forward."

I have been grateful for the understanding of a seasoned employer and for the lesson learned every time I consider what might have been.

Movement. Balance. Growth.

Our son, Adam, was given a bicycle when he was 5 or 6 years old (I think.... possibly a little older) and he really wanted to learn how to ride that bike without training wheels. We didn't take them off until late in the summer because he needed to grow physically in order to ride safely. He did grow and the day finally came when we decided to give it a try without those training wheels. We worked for several days helping him to balance and try. I remember the day when he finally understood that he had to keep moving forward or he would fall. There was one thing lacking yet - he hadn't quite caught on to the trick to maintain balance. I finally realized that he had not been given the key to balancing on a bicycle and shared it with him quickly and quietly. "Adam, when you feel the bike starting to tip to the right turn the handlebars slightly to the right, when you feel the bike starting to tip to the left turn slightly to the left." He gave me a quizzical look but I could see him thinking about it and suddenly...the light bulb turned on and he understood. Forward momentum, turn toward imbalance, and the bike will right itself. It was fun to watch him ride for the rest of the afternoon with no training wheels and no tumbles.

I hope we all understand that we grow and learn the most when we are struggling or even failing. This is a lesson I have been learning repeatedly all my life. There is a quote attributed to Robert Kennedy that says, "Only those who dare to fail can ever achieve greatly." I believe this to be true.

Oprah Winfrey once said, "Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it."

Many of us, me included, let the distractions of life (family, entertainment, working for a living) get in the way of what we really want to do. Today is the time for me (you make your own choice) to take some risk. There are things I want to do. Now is the time to begin.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Labor Day Weekend!

I overheard a conversation on a recent afternoon at work that went something like this; Voice 1, "What do we celebrate on labor day?" someone replied, "Isn't it about veterans?" "No, I think that's Memorial Day." Well then what is veterans day?" Oh, right, that's a good question." "What is Memorial day?"

For the record, I did make sure they all understood what these days off (in their minds) are about. Though I thought it would be good to share that information here.

"Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in service of the United States of America."

"Memorial Day was borne out of the Civil War and a desire to honor our dead. It was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11. “The 30th of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village and hamlet churchyard in the land,” he proclaimed. The date of Decoration Day, as he called it, was chosen because it wasn’t the anniversary of any particular battle.

On the first Decoration Day, General James Garfield made a speech at Arlington National Cemetery, and 5,000 participants decorated the graves of the 20,000 Union and Confederate soldiers buried there." (copied from usmemorialday.org)

Labor Day is about the American Laborer and has nothing to do with honoring military men and women. According to the US Dept. of Labor website;

"Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country."

Regarding Veterans Day; "An Act (52 Stat. 351; 5 U. S. Code, Sec. 87a) approved May 13, 1938, made the 11th of November in each year a legal holiday—a day to be dedicated to the cause of world peace and to be thereafter celebrated and known as "Armistice Day." Armistice Day was primarily a day set aside to honor veterans of World War I, but in 1954, after World War II had required the greatest mobilization of soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen in the Nation’s history; after American forces had fought aggression in Korea, the 83rd Congress, at the urging of the veterans service organizations, amended the Act of 1938 by striking out the word "Armistice" and inserting in its place the word "Veterans." With the approval of this legislation (Public Law 380) on June 1, 1954, November 11th became a day to honor American veterans of all wars." (copied from va.gov)

If you are a curious individual you might visit these and other websites to read up on the history of these holidays. Some of what I read is speculative because we really don't know the exact history or the specific context of what information has been preserved over the years. Even those who read this blog post who are my age of older may not remember from their history lessons all of the information pertaining to these three holidays. I recommend that we all take a moment when these holidays approach and research a little so we are reminded of the significance of each date.

I know I will. 

Moving on.

"Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it." Steven Wright

You all may have noticed a bit of disappointment surrounding the Mahan Clan not having our annual gathering on Grand Mesa this year. The time spent together on that mountain has become a cherished event in our lives since sometime in the middle 1990's. As our children have started their families it has become more difficult to pull everyone together every year. I have been excited at the prospect of being unplugged for the weekend and not worrying about work or any other life issues that arise from time to time. We are not able to gather this year but we will likely spend time communicating, celebrating, and enjoying time with family that is near."

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then. 

Random thoughts on a warm Sunday afternoon!

"Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?" Bill Watterson

In case you are not familiar with Bill Watterson  and his most famous work:

A gifted man who worked very hard at his craft, who also stayed true to his own world view. Or at least it seems so (I don't know the man only his reputation).

I read a quote from Jim Valvano recently that said, 

"If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special." 

It made me pause and think. First, do I agree with the thought? Second, if I do agree how am I doing? 

I agree. 

Most days I laugh or at least smile bemusedly, I think every day, and I cry almost never. 

Laughing and smiling come naturally to all of us, I think. Maybe I'm being too general here so let me limit that statement to my family members. The Mahan clan (and their affiliates) laugh out loud often and smile even more frequently. Sometimes through gritted teeth and difficult circumstances, but we seem to always find something amusing in all situations. I believe this is why we always have so much fun when we are together. Shared stories of struggle and growth often end with someone getting the rest to see the humor and then we can laugh and shake our heads together. Nothing may have changed except our perspective but that, temporarily is enough.

I probably over think life's troubles and struggles. I don't have the vision to say if that is good or bad. My guess is it is probably both. This family of mine can bring a quick and healthy dose of perspective - and thank goodness for them. Same as above. If I have something I am wrestling with I only need mention it to Mrs. Mahan and she helps guide my thinking and also draws into the discussion the opinions and ideas of our children. The Mahan girls network seems to always be buzzing about one thing or another that may have a deeper impact on the way I see the world than any of them realize. I am very grateful that Cindy is so tuned in to these daughters of ours, with their insight and intuitions.

As noted above I am not prone to cry without reason. So I'm not sure I completely agree with the referenced quote. It may, however, be more important than I realize. I will have to turn the Mahan girls network loose on that thought.

I have quoted Mitch Albom's "the magic strings of frankie presto" in previous posts but will do so again here. One of the daughters (Holly) recently finished reading the book and was strongly impressed with it. This led to a discussion among the family about the book and we have all been reminded of quotes and thoughts that have been generated as a result of the time spent reading, enjoying, and pondering parts of the book. 

One of the quotes that made me stop and think was this,

"Everyone joins a band in this life. And what you play always affects someone. Sometimes it affects the world." Mitch Albom - the magic strings of frankie presto

And another is,

"As life goes on, you will join other bands, some through friendship, some through romance, some through neighborhoods, school, an army. Maybe you will all dress the same, or laugh at your own private vocabulary. Maybe you will flop on couches backstage, or share a boardroom table, or crowd around a galley inside a ship. But in each band you join you will play a distinct part, and it will affect you as much as you affect it." Mitch Albom - the magic strings of frankie presto

Sometimes we (or at least I) forget that everything I do has an impact on others. That scientific principle we all learned as children is true; "for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." (Newton's Third Law). Including in daily living.

I don't often think about making changes in my attitude and approach to living but I am beginning to wonder if I should consider more carefully the possibility that a tear or two, sincerely offered, might be a good thing.

Perhaps my original band mates (Cindy, Jen, Adam, Stef, Holly, Lisa, and Kelli) can help me find joyful reasons to shed a tear.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath." (Lyndon B. Johnson)

I am sitting at home on a Saturday afternoon. It still seems very strange to me. Some of you know that I have been working in the automotive sales business for most of the past 19 years including working on nearly every Saturday. There were occasional vacation days or sick days that included Saturday but not very many. I am still involved in the car business but now with a company that provides software as a service for car dealerships. Customer Relationship Management (CRM), Inventory management, and Website services. So Saturday has become a regular day off. Even before getting into the car business I would usually work a half day on Saturday - but no longer. Very strange.

 Mrs. Mahan and I have also relocated to the Orem, Utah area where we are, for the moment, living with one of our daughters and her family. Once we find a place, that will change, of course, but we will likely be nearby. It has been very good to be near two of our daughters and their families. I have enjoyed getting to know the grandchildren who live here on a much more personal level. Cindy and I try not to get too involved in directing behavior, though it does happen once in a while. It has been very rewarding to see the interaction between the parents and their children as they seem to have figured a way to avoid some of the pitfalls that the grandparents stepped into as we raised ours.

I remember fondly the time we spent in Montrose, CO and enjoy looking in on the lives of friends and neighbors left behind through some of the social media outlets that are available today. A lot of good things happened in my life there and a lot of personal growth occurred while working and serving in the area.

Even the neurotic dog has settled in here, and seems to enjoy being part of a larger pack once again.

"Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the phone rings and you hope it isn't for you." (Ogden Nash)

Amusing quote; sadly becoming more and more true for me. Oh don't misunderstand I do enjoy an infrequent foray into the world on a Saturday evening, but don't find myself habitually attending restaurants, movies, concerts, or other entertainments on Saturday evening. I think that should be reserved for Friday night. Saturday is often the day I begin to prepare myself for the coming Sabbath. It is much easier for me to iron a white shirt and make certain that my shoes are polished on Saturday than to try and squeeze all that activity into Sunday morning - especially when meetings begin early.

I'm trying not to get preachy here but I do want to continue this thread for a few more lines and thoughts.

A favorite quote, and example from one of our church leaders may help illustrate my feelings:

"I am intrigued by the words of Isaiah, who called the Sabbath “a delight.” Yet I wonder, is the Sabbath really a delight for you and for me?

I first found delight in the Sabbath many years ago when, as a busy surgeon, I knew that the Sabbath became a day for personal healing. By the end of each week, my hands were sore from repeatedly scrubbing them with soap, water, and a bristle brush. I also needed a breather from the burden of a demanding profession. Sunday provided much-needed relief." (Elder Russell M. Nelson)

I have similar experience in my life history. Working on Sunday usually means having to work seven days straight in a week - which for me meant working twelve or more days in a row. Doable, certainly, but not the most productive use of those days. 

Anyway, It has been awhile since I posted anything here. I hope more frequently to share. 

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

Sometimes you just have to laugh!

"Laughter is an instant vacation." Milton Berle

A few months ago I was visiting the home of one of our daughters. They have two children we'll call one of them Mo and the other Mara. I had driven to their family home in Orem, Utah for a short visit as I had a job interview arranged with a company nearby. Upon my arrival at their home I knocked on the door and Mo came down the stairs and unlocked the door to let me in. I followed her into the house and was standing on the landing at the bottom of the stairs as she was telling her Mother and sister who was at the door. She stepped back around the corner from the kitchen, looked at me and said, "Why didn't you bring Grandma?" This story makes me smile every time I think of it. It made me smile that afternoon as well. And her Mom chuckled as she invited me to join them in the kitchen.

I don't often spend time around my grandchildren without Grandma along for the ride.

Victor Borge is quoted as saying, "Laughter is the closest distance between two people."

He makes a good point.

Later that same day I had returned to their home from the interview and was sitting at the kitchen counter with Mara next to me when our daughter said that she needed to run to the store to get a few things and wondered if we all wanted to ride along? Mara immediately said "No! I will stay here with granddad." Lisa asked Mara if she was sure about that. Mara replied that yes, she would stay home with granddad. Lisa looked at me and I said sure we can stay here just the two of us. Lisa continued to prepare to go to the store. Alex arrived home just a minute or two later and joined us in the kitchen. He was warmly received by his family and we had a brief conversation about the plan for the evening. Lisa then mentioned that she and Mo had to make a quick trip to the store. and Mara immediately said, "Dad you go to the store! I'm staying home with granddad."

We were all amused. They went to the store and Mara and granddad stayed home. We laughed together, we colored, and finally we read a book together. A connection made between her old granddad and her three year old self.

Fast forward to last weekend. The Guzman family (Alex, Lisa, Monroe, and Mara) decided to make a visit to Montrose. They arrived Friday evening and settled in fairly quickly. Those granddaughters played for an hour or so before retiring to bed. The feeling in the house changed immediately upon their arrival. The laughter and energy of young children is joyful. I had not known that they were coming to visit until just a few hours prior to arrival but so glad they came.

Saturday afternoon Mara was running from the play area that Grandma has arranged for them, heading toward the bedroom where their things were kept. She was intent on her destination and I had just walked out of the kitchen and saw her running. I paused until she was almost at the turn to the hallway. I squatted and gave a little rrraarr at her.... and, without missing a step, she leaped into the air, her legs churning (think Wiley Coyote) landed back on the floor and continued down the hallway. No squeal, no shriek, no slowing down. Lisa saw this and laughed out loud (so did I).

Our grandchildren learn humor from their parents just like those parents learned from Cindy (grandma) and me.

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh." (W.H. Auden)

No grand thought here today. Just hadn't posted anything in quite some time.

More to come soon. Thanks for checking in. See you then!

The Mahan Girls blog challenge 2016! Favorite person

My wife and daughters are once again participating in a blog challenge (except the youngest who is just too busy to blog). The challenge is to write on a specified topic each day for a month (or longer - I'm not sure what they decided). One of them invited me to participate so I will, though I decided that I will cherry pick topics rather than write about each. I enjoyed reading their posts concerning who their respective favorite person is and determined that I would participate in this topic along with them.

Like them many came to mind but one stood out as a favorite for me. He is widely quoted so I think I will introduce him through a few quotes from his writing or speaking opportunities.

"We live in a world where finding fault in others seems to be the favorite blood sport. It has long been the basis of political campaign strategy. It is the theme of much television programming across the world. It sells newspapers. Whenever we meet anyone, our first almost unconscious reaction may be to look for imperfections."

"Carrying a grudge is a heavy burden. As you forgive, you will feel the joy of being forgiven."

"Our Heavenly Father Loves us. He sent His Only Begotten Son to be our Savior. He knew that in mortality we would be in grave danger, the worst of it from the temptations of a terrible adversary. That is one of the reasons why the Savior has provided priesthood keys so that those with ears to hear and faith to obey could go to places of safety."

"It is never too late to strengthen the foundation of faith. There is always time. With faith in the Savior, you can repent and plead for forgiveness.  There is someone you can forgive. There is someone you can thank. There is someone you can serve and lift. You can do it wherever you are and however alone and deserted you may feel."

These four are quotes from Henry B. Eyring. I am not sure when he became so prominent in my thinking but for at least the last few years his General Conference addresses have really touched me. I appreciate that he so often gets emotional when speaking of things that are of importance to him. He speaks a lot about family and family experiences - which are also high on my importance list. A good man who is providing a public example that I try to emulate.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"... but now it is so much more." James L. Slaughter

5 years ago March 1st I had Coronary Artery Bypass Surgery (CABG). Dr. Sara Pereira and her team at St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction Colorado did an outstanding job getting me through that difficult few days. I am fortunate that I did not have a heart attack just chest pain that when discussed with my family physician led to some testing and imaging that ended up with the above mentioned treatment. According to my cardiologist I was a ticking time bomb with one blockage that appeared to be over 90% and 3 others that were approximately 60-70%. The result could easily have been very different if I had not talked to my doctor about the occasional pain I had experienced. I encourage any reading this who have angina or other chest pain to talk about it with their family physician.

I count this date (March 1, 2011) as a life changer for me.

During the lead up to the procedure and the month following I had some time to consider many aspects of my life and the lives of my family members. We all have had difficulties that have made us into the people we are today. If you will indulge me I will share a little of our lives and times here today.

My sweetheart and I married young (19) and began our family within the next year. So not only did we have the self inflicted problems of youth we also had to learn how to care for a baby girl who changed the dynamic in our home in very positive ways - yet brought challenges that I'm not sure how we ever got through. We managed with the loving help of family and friends. As a dad to a small child I was terrified most of the time. The challenges came frequently over the ensuing years - 5 more children arrived and by the time we were in our very early thirties our family was complete. We survived job loss, underemployment, physical ailments, and even an occasional faltering of our faith. The one constant for me was the strength of a good woman who made me feel as though all the hard work would be rewarded.

It has been.

Not always in ways I expected.

My reflections this year have been on the trials that our children now face in their adult lives. One of our daughters began her married life with her husband being diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma - a cancer that is often deadly but very treatable. I think that was the longest 18 to 24 months of their lives (and ours). Very hard as a parent to watch the physical, emotional, and spiritual struggle of a young couple who wonder what new challenge each day or each new round of treatment brings. I am a man and a father - I want to fix things, and provide comfort. Not, just sit idly by knowing that I can do nothing beyond love, support, and pray.

Another daughter had to live as a single Mom for 4 years because of poor choices made by her husband that got him caught up in the legal system of two States. He is a good man who started down a wrong road years ago and, apparently, needed a stern wake up call to change. Forgiveness in her heart was hard in the beginning. It came easier when she understood a little better about addiction. I am still trying to figure out how to forgive completely.

When my sweetheart and I embarked upon this journey, nearly 37 years ago now, I don't think either of us had any idea of the twists and turns life would take. The same applies to all our children who are at some point on the same journey. I have learned that it is through our struggles that we learn to lean on one another. I look back on my 56+ years and can see where the love we began with at 19 has blossomed into something more precious and deep. Not only are we more in love than ever but we are truly friends.

"I was in love when we first got married--no doubt about that--but now it is so much more. True love and friendship have blossomed through all the struggles we have been through together. I hate to think where we would be had we quit on each other." (James L. Slaughter)

I do reflect upon all these events and many others this time of year. I marvel at the medical knowledge and technology that is available today. I will be grateful to all the medical staff who worked on and cared for me 5 years ago for the rest of my life.

As I read back through this post it seems a little mawkish but that may be the kind of man I am as well.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.

"Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life." Joseph Addison

"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." Benjamin Franklin

I once had a conversation with a man I grew to admire a great deal in which he shared with me that he began each day with a book in hand. I had asked about his daily schedule. He told me that seven days a week he arose from his bed at 4:45 am and following his morning ablutions he always began the morning by reading in a good book. Rarely a novel. Instead - something he felt worthwhile and somewhat challenging or enlightening.

Since having that conversation I have tried to follow that example. My choice of reading material each morning is scriptural. I read in the Bible and the Book of Mormon each morning beginning at about 5:10 am and spend most of the next 50 minutes reading, studying, or pondering upon what has been read. The exception is my one weekday off (Thursday) when I read later in the morning. This is my daily habit. I also, usually, have another book or novel that I am reading for enjoyment - though I find that many books have quotations that are thought provoking for me and cause me to consider if there may be application in my life.

I should note that I am a relatively slow reader most of the time. Not for lack of understanding, mind you, but for greater comprehension as well as enjoyment. When a book takes hold of my imagination, capturing my attention then my consumption of nouns and verbs increases dramatically. When a book I have chosen to consume begins slowly to introduce me to the characters and circumstances on its pages I know that something good is usually coming. I patiently bide my time until I find I am caught up and realize that I have been reading for hours without thought of thirst or hunger or other bodily needs. I am amazed at how easily I am drawn into the depths of the characters and their interactions.

"We shouldn't teach great books, we should teach a love of reading." B.F. Skinner

It is probably a good thing that I am married to a librarian. She has a love of reading and of good books of all varieties and shares many of those with me and with our children. I remember many nights listening from the living room as she - after we tucked those children into bed - would sit in the hallway or in one of the bedrooms reading aloud from many wonderful series such as the Ann of Green Gables books, or The Chronicles of Narnia, or many, many others. She brought them to life for all of us (don't tell her I wrote that). Even when I would sit at the kitchen table reading Tom Clancy, or Ayn Rand, or other favorite authors, I would pause to listen and enjoy.

One of our daughters gave me a book for Christmas last year by Mitch Albom titled "the magic strings of Frankie Presto" that sat on the end table in the living room until just recently. What a treasure (so far anyway). There have already been many quotes that have set me to thinking.

“Everyone joins a band in this life. And what you play always affects someone. Sometimes, it affects the world.” 

“All humans are musical. Why else would the Lord give you a beating heart?” 

“The secret is not to make your music louder, but to make the world quieter.” 

“You cannot write if you do not read,” the blind man said. “You cannot eat if you do not chew. And you cannot play if you do not”—he grabbed for the boy’s hand—“listen.” 

And I am certain there will be more to come that will cause me to pause and think. I look forward to what is yet to unfold.

This will likely find its place among those books that I read several times before I am finished with it.

"If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all." Oscar Wilde.

That is the way it goes when I find a book that makes me think or brings me joy (hopefully both). I'll read it through twice then put it away for a few months and come back to it for a refresher. Then it may sit for a few years as others fill the spaces in my brain until I discover it again. What a great gift is this ability to read.

I love hearing our children sharing their love of a good book with our grandchildren. Very few things fill my heart with joy as fully as listening to a book read aloud in those homes. I know that the rising generation, of this clan, is in good and capable hands.

Enough for today.

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.