Each night I am reminded "how lucky I am that I made it home."

There are occasional evenings when I return home from a busy, long, stress-filled day at work and just want to mindlessly sit and view a television program or a DVD of a favorite movie. I had two such days recently (in a row, I might add) which is unusual. This all began with a mid-day dental appointment to have a silver filling in a molar removed and refilled with whatever composite material dentists use now and to also fill another cavity near the same tooth that has developed over the years because of a crack in another molar. It does not bother me so a filling works for now, though a root canal may occur down the road. I don't like trips to the dentist for any reason. Sitting in an uncomfortable chair in an uncomfortable position with every muscle in my body tensed for immediate flight just makes for an unpleasant hour and pretty well wears me out. I survived (barely) and we headed home. My sweetheart (Cindy), who came along to drive if needed, mentioned that she was not feeling well and I promptly ignored what she said because she could not possibly feel as bad as I did at that moment (I was wrong, of course) and we resumed the activities of the day. A few hours later we were sitting in the living room watching HGTV and resting from the day.

She mentioned again several times during the evening that she was not feeling well and even suggested that she may go to urgent care the next morning if there was no improvement by then. She finally gave up on the day about 8:30 (very early for her), fed the dogs, took some ibuprofen, and went to bed. Now I'm beginning to worry. Normally changes in her health are gradual - this progressed very quickly. Though in retrospect the signs of gradual progression were there we just missed them until it was moving more quickly. She had a rough night and let me know Friday morning that she had called her doctor's office and they had an opening for her to come in later in the day and she took it instead of going to urgent care. No strep. Swollen nodes, works in an elementary school - antibiotic prescribed, continued use of ibuprofen recommended. Since many (perhaps all) of the daughters (Jen, Stefanie, Holly, Lisa, and Kelli) had been invited into this loop a group text was distributed with the update (me too) and she headed home.

Friday is often a night out for dinner but she did not feel up to it so we ordered take out from a local establishment and scheduled it so I could run a few errands and then pick it up on the way home. It had been one of those days at work in addition to worrying about her condition and I was pretty well worn out by the time I arrived at home. We had dinner and settled in to view a DVD (The Hobbit, the battle of the five armies). There are several moments in this film that hit a tender chord with me. The first is when, after they are in the mountain, Bilbo is sitting by himself and removes something from his pocket.

    "Thorin: What is that?
    [suddenly Thorin approaches Bilbo]
    Thorin: In your hand.
    Bilbo Baggins: It's nothing.
    Thorin: Show me.
    Bilbo Baggins: It...
    [Bilbo holds out his fist and opens it up to reveal a nut]
    Bilbo Baggins: I picked it up in Beorn's garden.
    [Thorin's face softens]
    Thorin: You've carried it all this way?
    Bilbo Baggins: I'm going to plant it in my garden. In Bag End.
    Thorin: It's a poor prize to take back to the Shire.
    Bilbo Baggins: One day it'll grow, and every time I look at it, I'll remember. Remember     everything that happened: the good, the bad and how lucky I am that I made it home.
    [Bilbo smile and Thorin smiles back]"

It is that last that touches me "One day it'll grow, and every time I look at it, I'll remember. Remember everything that happened: the good, the bad and how lucky I am that I made it home." Home is the place where both good and bad happen to everyone, I hope more good than bad for all, but it should also be a place we can retreat to. I feel that my home is a talisman for me - a place where not only have memories been made, and lessons taught and learned, but a place where I can refuge from the world and remember the things that are really important. I am never happier than when the Mahan clan are all gathered together reminding each of the relationship and the life we have shared. 

There is another moment near the end of the film when as Thorin Oakenshield is near death he says to Bilbo "If more people valued home above gold, this world would be a merrier place." I am as guilty as  the next fellow of trying to improve my lot in life (financial) and acknowledge that we do have to make an adequate living to support a family. But there are times when we (I at least) have lost sight of the greater importance of family relationships and making the world a merrier place.

If you read through the posts that have been created here you should get a sense that family is important to me. I am very pleased with the way my children have turned out. They have become people that I still enjoy hanging out with and learning from. 

Thanks for checking in. More to come soon. See you then.